Distances

30 07 2013

Greetings from my travels!  I know I have been away, but little trips like this are very good for the soul, to just take a break from the realities we face on a daily basis to re-encounter some of the good things in our lives.  Ahh….refreshing!  I will be back to writing more consistently and regularly again soon, but until then, stay tuned!

I was thinking before I went to bed last night, about the different distances that people can experience between themselves and other people.  I have come to the conclusion that there are two types of distances, PHYSICAL and EMOTIONAL.

There’s physical distance.  This, I define as the physical distance between people.  In my life, the trend seems to be that my friends and the people I stay close to, it seems like they are increasingly becoming more and more physically separated.  It starts with jobs, spouses, etc., and despite the fact that you care about them, it seems physically impossible to be with them or to ask them to coffee on a regular basis.  With physical distance, it becomes a real struggle to maintain that closeness and connectedness.  The thing that makes relationships possible beyond the distance is that both people have to work at it.  It takes time, energy and effort to remain close.  While it is harder, it can be done.  It is possible for friendships and relationships to weather the challenoge of time zones, busy schedules and everyday life, despite the distance, but it just means that both people have to be more willing to try to make it work, and it means that both have to sacrifice sometimes the present, right in front of you life, for something a few hundred miles away.

In relationships, what is harder to overcome is emotional distance.  You can be in the same room or the same house, and still be distant from another person.  Emotional distance is caused by hurt hearts, busy schedules, or pure human laziness.  Emotional distance is the drainpipe through which most relationships fail.  To solve this, people have to be committed to communicating and getting through all of the muck and the grime and the hurt that is already there.  Emotional distance is damaging to relationships, no matter what type of relationship it is.   

I am nowhere near a marriage counselor, nor am I an expert on human relationships, but of these two distances, I do believe that the latter is the worst.  People can deal with distance, but once you become emotionally distant, it doesn’t work anymore.  

That’s just my thought.  Thoughts?





Fulfillment

14 07 2013

Hey-yo!  I am in the midst of some travels.  I just came back from a t-totally wonderful trip to the lake with some of my oldest, boldest and coldest friends.  Well, they’re not really all that cold.  I suppose they have normal body temperature, I should probably check that out….anyways….I think I was going for a rhyming scheme or something like that.  On into next week, I will be travelling again which is so super exciting, and I am eagerly anticipating the travels I will have. 

Anyways, I know it’s rather late.  So I promise this’ll be rather short and sweet, but I was driving back from the trip I took this weekend, and in the midst of some pretty boring traffic jams, I had a new awareness/reminder of the purpose and meaning of my life. 

A week ago, if you were talking to me, you’d look at me and say that I’d lost my joy.  Last week, I just wasn’t feeling anything and was just “blah” with everything.  Then I go to the lake.  And there’s magic in that lake water apparently. 

I am a really relational person.  I am a person who thrives on the relationships that I’ve created and the relationships that I sustain.  I had many conversations and many moments with my friends this weekend, and I am rather excited to have had them.  But it inspires me and draws me back to the long-standing understanding that my life is not about being inside a bubble, but about being relational with my friends, connecting with people, and sharing lives together.  That is the meaning of my life. 

There is a unique fulfillment found in sharing our lives with other people. 

When I am asked about those I am sad about the most, it is not those who are in prison or those who are neglected, it is those that do not have anyone to spend their time with, those who are surrounded by people, but yet utterly alone.  Those who are not known truly by another person.  Those lonely people tug at my heart.  I understand I cannot fix the rest of the world.  I understand that I cannot be a friend to the entire world.  But, I’m sure I’ll be a friend to at least one person. 

I am at that point in my life where I am utterly satisfied.  I want for nothing that truly matters.  Sure, I would love a nicer job, or car…but those things don’t matter.  Personally, I have all the people in my life that I could have ever dreamed of wanting, and I am happier today than I’ve been in years.  The things that fulfill you and make you happy….it’s not found in money, cars or clothes.  It’s found in love.

And I have a lot of love in me that I have received.  And I have a lot more to share.  Oh fulfillment and satisfaction!





Look for the Light

5 07 2013

 

Let me first preface this with a single statement, I love TED.  If you don’t know what TED is, they are talks that have a vision for what the world can become, or how to make your world better now.  Inspirational.  Encouraging, uplifting.  I highly encourage you to look at the other videos.  They are worth your time, for sure.

Anyways, I really enjoy this video for two reasons:  1) It incorporates photography stuff.  2)The talk itself.

I’m gonna warn you, this entry has a bit of religion tied into it.  If you don’t subscribe to a particular religious belief, that’s okay, I think you’ll find the message meaningful anyways.  If you’re really religious and married to beliefs, you may not want to read this, I could offend you.  Just so you know where I am in my religious belief….I really don’t know.  There’s no map.  I’m on uncharted territory right now.  God and I, we’re trying to figure out each other over again.  Good luck with that, right?  Hah.

Anyways….back to the point.  I’ve been in a church recently where the speaker was like dissing the world.  He was saying that all of our media, all of the celebrity-ness….all of it was terrible, and that we should really just reject the entire content of what the world has to offer.  After the recent bursts of violence, a church came out and said that this was judgement from God to America for what they’ve allowed to happen.  When the Supreme Court ruled in favor of same-sex relationship legality, churches everywhere across America had their prayers rejected by a God who claims to have their interests at heart. 
So, they came out and said that this is just tribulation, and that they are still the church of God, and they will still refuse to allow gay people in their church. 

We can look around and see all of the brokenness that we have in our churches, all of the ‘holier-than-thou’s attitude, and we can condemn it.  We can condemn how they don’t fit into their own beliefs 100% of the time.  But that is not the purpose of this entry.

The point I’m trying to make by mentioning these moments of negativity is that this is a very depressing viewpoint to have towards anything.  If you reject the world, you reject everything and everyone.  Which kinda makes it hard to embrace others.  If you reject the church based on its imperfections, you’re rejecting it because its imperfect….just.like.you.are.

I think there are moments and little lights that we need to look for, in order to jump over this hurdle.  If we look for these lights…we can have hope in something.  If we look at a good aspect of society, people who are trying to help others….churches who are wrapping its arms around those who need shelter…if we look at those good aspects, we have reason to hope.  We have reason to live, even.  If we can find one person that is doing it right like it’s supposed to be done, there is still reason to hope. 

I have many people who are these “delightful” people in my life.  I have friends who are Christians, but still are able to accept those who are different or walk a different path.  I see people who try to cheer others up, rather than running them into the ground.  I see families that try to take care of each other, despite the hardships.  I see lovers who love each other despite difficult circumstances, and choose each other despite all of the unhappy circumstances. 

All of these are acts of love, and if love is of God, God has to be in it!  If God is not in it, there is no love, no compassion.  Look for those moments of love, and I swear you’ll be in on something that God is of.  But if you surround yourself with hate, it’s not of God. 

Maybe I’m a dreamer, or an optimist, but I have to believe that there are good things in our society that are good.  I have to believe that our world is a good place.  There are bad things in it, certainly.  But look at it in me…I would say that I am a good person, but yet there is bad in me, there are moments of selfishness, immaturity, impatience, etc.  I don’t have to paint a picture of how bad I am, but I accept those aspects of me.  I may not ever become the most selfless person, but I am working on it, and I hope to be better with it someday.

Look for the light, and that may change your approach to all things.