Where I Should Be

22 08 2013

I am so not where I thought I would be in my life at this point right now.  This is the thought that has plagued me for the last year or so.  I’ve said this to my friends in so many different ways as we’ve talked and spent time together. 

If I were to paint the picture of my perfect scenario, I would say that I would be:

  • Working at a school in my own classroom, being innovative and having a real impact upon the lives of kids.
  • Enjoying my commute to work everyday.
  • Not single, and working on a committed relationship that would hopefully end up being a life-long relationship
  • I would be finished with the things I want to do with my house.
  • My OCD would be more manageable.
  • I would be healthier all the way around.
  • I would be reading more.

Instead, I am spending my life in an incomplete house, living an incomplete life, working on an incomplete vision.  I have to be okay with that.  I really don’t have a choice.  I have done everything that I can do, and now, it’s just a waiting game at this point.  What happens next? 

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not bitter.  Sure, nothing is like where it’s supposed to be, and I never thought I would be in this situation like I am, but I am at a place where I can do different things.  I’m working on some sort of longer story, yeah, I’m writing creatively again!  I haven’t done that in years.  Because of the nature of my work, I am able to be there and do things for people that I haven’t been able to do before.  Because of the nature of my work, I also am able to volunteer at schools when school starts again.  I have a more flexible schedule, especially since sleep and I do not seem to be friends right now.  And, I can spend time auditioning for plays and things like that!

So, maybe where I should be isn’t the greatest dream for me right now.  Maybe I need to live this lifestyle for awhile so that I can appreciate the structure of life while teaching.  Who knows?  The thing to remember is this:  Life could always happen. 




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