Some People Change

6 09 2013

This is one of those songs that just continues to catch me.  I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned my love for this song, before, but it just resonates within me so much and so deeply.

I think the reason I love this song is because some people can change.  Changing yourself is hard.  It really is.  But I know that it can be done, because I have changed myself, I have come through some really awful situations and circumstances, and I have emerged to be not quite as screwed up as I could be.

Change is not impossible.  This song is the story of two people who do change, and who leave their prior lives for a new way of living.  My life is the story of someone who was silenced once, and whose opinion and perspectives were told were irrelevant and unimportant…to become a person who chooses to share those opinions and perspectives with people.  I have become someone that people come to with the understanding that I understand where they are, even if just for a small fraction, and can share with them a perspective that may make them look at things in a whole new light.

You can change!  The excuse of “well, this mental disease is something that’s in my blood and I’ll never be able to recover”, that excuse is invalid.  I know this because I have people in my life who stopped a habit that is a family trait, and continue to be strong-willed people, determined to grab control of their lives and carry on.  I know this because I personally, also deal with mental instability.  Believe it or not.  But I have made the decision to force myself to get over that, and to use that to fuel my desires to live my life to the fully, and not hold myself back. 

Excuses are really your way of being lazy.  I know, that’s harsh.  But the reality of this is that if you’re going to make an excuse, it’s because you’ve already decided in your head, that you’re not going to change, but you’re using the excuse instead of the reality which is:  that you don’t want to change.  If you don’t want to change, then you quite simply can’t complain that you can’t change, because you’re not even trying!  If you don’t want to change, you can’t expect people to be sensitive to you and still work around you, if you don’t want to change and get out of the rut you’re in, then that’s fine.  Just don’t cover it up with an excuse. 

Why do I think you can change?  Because I’ve seen people who have changed their lives.  Almost all of the people that I keep in my life on a daily basis, are people that I see that have changed something or another about their lives.  They’ve recognized something that they see in themselves that they don’t like.  Instead of becoming a victim of that seemingly impossible task of changing their life, they’ve chosen to change, and have struggled with that.  Then, they’ve done it. 

Changing your life happens one day at a time.  It is so easy to start a habit, but so much harder to stop that same habit.  Changing your life doesn’t happen in a day, a week or a month.  It make take a long time to accomplish it, but it’s worth it.  It’s continuously trying and challenging yourself to refuse to become a victim and deciding to become a victor!  When you just use the excuses, you continue to perpetuate the idea that you are a victim, and that doesn’t give for a healthy self-esteem.

The most important note about changing:  It has to be for you.  Sure, I can get encouragement to change something, but until I decide to do it myself, that change won’t happen.  I can’t change my way of thinking for someone else or because I want someone else in my life not to leave me (for example), I have to change it because I see how a particular way of living my life puts me in an unhealthy scenario.  You can’t change for your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your grandma, your mom and dad….you gotta choose to change for you, not anyone else.  Because when you choose to change for someone else, then you’re just being rather unhealthily codependent upon someone else.  YOU HAVE TO TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE.

What if the people around you don’t support the changes you’re trying to make?  What if they say those changes are wrong?  I am sorry that they’re not responding with the love and support that those whom you love and support should give you.  I am sorry that they’re not reacting the way you need them to be.  But, you have to figure out if this is a dealbreaker.  Let’s take an example.  Say that I’m going to become a vegetarian.  And let’s say I tell my family and friends.  Perhaps some of those people are really supportive, and they’re encouraging of me and they encourage me to teach them about what I’m doing.  They may continue to eat meat, but they don’t pressure me into rejecting my decision.  This is a healthy response.  An unhealthy response may be that person who tries to pressure me into eating meat or they’ll try to make me feel guilty for changing my life.  Weird response, right?  You have decide what you’re going to do.  You can try to assert yourself and make it known that they’re not supporting you like you need them to be, and if they choose not to support you, there will be other decisions made.  You could decide their criticisms are something you can ignore.  Whatever it is, you deserve to have people who are your cheerleaders first and foremost, any other response is going to be difficult to receive and to hear all the time. 

I love this song, because it is so true, people can change.  They really can.  But change is self-driven.  If I were to sum up this entire entry, it would be in that previous statement:  Change is self-driven.  You have to stand up for yourself, up to yourself and up from yourself.  You can’t allow anyone else to call the shots for you!

You can do it!  Now go on, you fantastic person, you!  Start that process of changing your life!  You might be glad you did!




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