The Process of Processing

28 03 2014

I am a TV/movie junkie.  I love these arenas of entertainment.  I love watching movies.  For an hour and a half to two hours, you are immersed completely in another world, the world of the movie.  You get caught up with the characters, feel emotions for someone else, and in the end, when the resolution is finished, and the happily ever after music is cued, you’re satisfied.  The problem has been handled, the situation rectified, and the characters of the movie are better off when they came.  I’m a movie junkie, because for a while, I get to leave my own world, and all my own problems, and enter someone else’s reality, and I get to help them deal with and move forward.  I get to feel someone else’s emotions besides my own, and I get to focus on someone else’s situations and scenarios instead of having to deal with the reality that is my life right now.  It allows me to feel like I’m being selfless for a time, and helping someone else get through their misery, to alleviate my own misery.  In the show, Dawson’s Creek, Dawson says to Joey that he believes that all of the answers to the questions of life lie in the correctly chosen Spielberg movie.  I would like to make the declaration that while I do not believe that Spielburg’s movies can handle all of my questions to life, but the movie genre in general proves to be very helpful.  It’s nice to have a resolution, to see the conflict finished, to derive the lessons the movie characters arrive at without having to go through the experience yourself.  It gives me hope that if this character can survive this trauma, then I too, will one day walk forward from my current situations with a head held high, guarding the lessons learned in my heart, and walking forward proud, to meet the next scenario and situations.  If in Steel Magnolias, I can learn that life goes on despite the death handed to me, and that my life doesn’t end with death, then I have the assurance that this is not the end of my life, that my love will go on and live in the lives of those that I care about, no matter what may come.  If through the Harry Potter franchise, I can remember the true value of friendship and relationships, and I can pull closer, those whom I care about, and lean on them to pull me through, then I know that I can defeat the challenges that lie ahead, no matter if they are dementors or Voldemort himself.  If through Beauty and the Beast, I can learn that love changes people and helps them to grow into the person that they are meant and supposed to be.  If I can learn that even though I may be a little different, I’m still important and I can still challenge people’s first assumptions, I have the courage to move forward, no matter how alone I may feel.  If through Days of Thunder, I can realize that people can rise above the pettiness and can do the right thing for their friend, then I too, will be able to rise above my circumstances and press forward unto victory.  If through Gone with the Wind, I can remember the strength and the courage that the human spirit can have, despite all possibilities, I am encouraged to remain and to persevere despite all obstacles that I face, and know that I am not alone.  

Movies allow me to refocus all of my efforts on trying to make it through this life, unto another person, and taking lessons from another example.   For a moment in time, I am allowed the luxury of getting glimpses into another’s lives, even if it’s only for a few minutes or hours at a time.  For that reason, movies are sorta like those acquaintances that you have for a short time in your life, these people come and go out of your life quietly, but their presence is felt often long after they are gone.  I have this friend that I had my first year of college, and for a short time, she was a wonderful friend, so compassionate and so lovingly helpful.  Then our lives pulled us away from each other.  There’s still good feelings that I send out to her whenever I miss her, or think of her, and I like to think that she does the same to me if she ever thinks of me.  But what she gave me in that short amount of time, I can never give away.  For that short period of time, she was a very good friend, and I’m so grateful to have been able to share my life with her.  I realize that my experience with her is not typical of many people who have people who come and go out of their lives….but I am thankful nonetheless.

But shows are an entirely different experience.  I love television shows, on a deeper level, almost.  TV is different, because it’s almost like you share life with these people.  I feel like I intimately know the television characters that I live life with.  I’m friends with Meredith and Christina.  I adore Izzy.  I’m the female incarnate of Dawson Leery.  I am infatuated with Joey Potter.  I always roll my eyes at JD and Turk, and I understand Elliot’s frantic freak outs.  I make popcorn for the kids while hearing about Barney’s latest escapade.  I bawl my eyes out over the Ross/Rachel issue.  TV shows are like the people you share your life with.  Those people who show up, and they don’t leave, they refuse to leave, because you need them and they need you, you both need someone to share your life with.  You need someone to drink beer with at the usual pub.  You need someone to hold on to your feet when your heart isn’t beating.  You need to fight with someone.  You need someone to be there when someone else you loved dies.  You need someone to help you pick the pieces up of your life and over-analyze your life over the latest movie on TV.  You need to have a discussion about irrelevant things, but they become something special.  You need to have coffee.  Oh, coffee.  I could write a whole ‘nother blog about that.  And the other people that pop in and out of your lives, the people that become known as the “bleach blonde waiter” or the “singing lady” or the “ex-wife”, they become people that you remember together, and stories that you share with each other.  They know all the stories, and all of the people, and they are the people that you can be locked in a bathroom for an hour with, and process all of your recent scenarios. 


By being able to disappear out of my own life for awhile, check out of my situations for awhile and into the reality of someone else, I am able to finally process and understand the circumstances of my own life.  And this makes it easier. 

Reality sucks sometimes.  It really does.  There’s heartache, there’s stress and there’s mold you have to deal with.  But by taking a time out, it just gives me a break, it gives me a rest.  I get to take a hiatus from the struggles that I face.  But when the resolutions of the movies or episodes come, I walk away, just a little more optimistic.  And then, more than ever, do I realize that I am strong enough to survive.  I am capable of growing up and learning from everything.  I am capable of moving on.  If they can do it, then I can too. 

And that is part of the process!  What a joy! 




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