Favorite Verses….Fresh Take

Hello, and welcome back! We are starting our new series, “Favorite Verses…..Fresh Take” and I am truly excited about it. I’ve been taking the last few weeks off after the Fruit of the Spirit series to reflect and think, and it just seems like the Lord kept drawing me back to my favorite verses. I’m not sure how long we will be doing this series yet, I don’t have an anticipated end date…..but I am still excited about what we will be digging into.

I also wanted to take a moment to welcome my friends in Israel, who are reading the blog. After visitors in the United States, Israel is second in visitation rate. So welcome, and I’m glad you are here. I know that things are tough in Israel right now, so the fact that you’re visiting here, in time where you could have been anywhere else….it just means so much. I am thinking of and praying for you all, and I hope that we find peace soon in this great big old world. But again, thank you for being here.

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Beginning this series with, I was thinking about some of my most favorite verses in the scriptures. And to be honest, my favorite scriptures tend to be some that are often overlooked or not the ones that you can find on a t-shirt or a wall hanging. Some of them are. But that’s because the verse has gone beyond just face value and being something that is really incredibly personal, because I have lived these verses. Without any further delay….let’s get into it, shall we?

If I were to ask you, what’s the most famous verse in the whole Bible, what would you say?

I bet money, you’d say John 3:16.

You can find it on Cookout Cups, t-shirts, billboards….John 3:16. When I was in Vacation Bible School, the memory verse for the week most of the time was related to John 3:16.

This is not a sermon about that verse.

I actually love John 3:17 more than 16.

And for many of you, you may have never heard this verse at all.

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him

-John 3:17

Before you read John 3:17, remember why Jesus said It.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whosoever believes in him shall be saved”

Let’s dig into the context of this entire passage. Jesus goes out to speak to Nicodemus, in the middle of the night, mind you (that is important later), because Nicodemus is trying to understand who Jesus is, and what God is doing through him. It’s interesting that John’s gospel is the only gospel that records this conversation. Now Nicodemus is a pretty intelligent guy, he knows the scriptures, he knows the laws. He knows religion. He knows what people are supposed to do, and how they are commanded to do, through the scriptures. He knows the rules. But Jesus begins his conversation with this highly religious and respected man, Nicodemus, by beginning this conversation with a concept so foreign to Nicodemus, he doesn’t understand it. He doesn’t get what Jesus is talking about, when Jesus says he needs to be born again.

Nicodemus has lived his whole life to this point, by trying to follow the rules and doing the rituals, but Jesus stands in contrast to all of that when he says….you must be born again.

In his lack of understanding, he even says “How can I be born again, unless I go into my mother’s womb?” Like, Jesus, are you crazy? What are you talking about? This doesn’t make sense!

Jesus is saying that to be saved, Nicodemus has to do something that he cannot accomplish through religious achievement. He needs a new life.

Then Jesus cities a story Nicodemus would have known very well, because he knew the scriptures, right? He calls back to Numbers 21-the Isralites and the Bronze serpent. The people had sinned, Judement had come for them. But God. God provided a way for them to be rescued. Jesus says “Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man [himself] must be lifted up….” This is foreshadowing his death upon the cross and the resurrection that he will undergo.

And then, in that conversation, Jesus says John 3:16.

God so loved….
God gave…..
God sent….

But John 3:16 isn’t the end of the thought.

John 3:17 underlines the purpose of God sending Jesus. It tells us what love looked like when it showed up.

Jesus says that God so loved the world that he sent his Son, and then immediately explains why the Son was sent.

Not to condemn the world. Which, I’m gonna come back to that in just a minute.

But God’s purpose in sending Jesus was to rescue.

That means the gospel doesn’t begin with humanity trying to climb its way towards God…..it begins with God coming towards humanity. Because God knew the world was broken…and God didn’t just abandon it. God didn’t turn his back upon the world. The world needed saving….so God stepped into it.

A Moment for “World”

Now, let’s go back to that thought.

The phrase was “Not to condemn the world.”

And I think that word world is important, especially when we remember who Jesus is talking to.

Nicodemus was a Pharisee, part of a movement deeply concerned with Israel’s faithfulness to God and separation from impurity. He knew the Scriptures. He knew the laws. He knew the promises and covenants that God had made with the people of Israel.

Within a first-century Jewish context, there were also expectations that God’s coming kingdom and Messiah would involve both Israel’s deliverance and God’s judgment of wickedness. Israel had lived under the control of foreign powers for generations, and many people longed for God to intervene, deliver them from oppression, and restore what had been lost.

But I don’t want us to make the mistake of thinking that Nicodemus only knew about a God of judgment.

Because the Hebrew Scriptures Nicodemus knew so well are also filled with mercy, compassion, inclusion, concern for foreigners, and God’s concern for the nations. Isaiah imagines Israel as a “light to the nations.” The entire story of Jonah wrestles with the uncomfortable reality that God’s compassion can extend even to people we might not think deserve it.

Nicodemus already knew that God was merciful.

But against that backdrop, Jesus tells Nicodemus something that stretches the boundaries even farther:

God loves the world.

Not just Israel.

Not just the people who already understand.

Not just the people who have gotten everything right.

God loves the world.

And in that, the mission of Jesus becomes even bigger than the expectations Nicodemus may have brought with him that night. Jesus is radically expanding his understanding of just how far the mercy of God reaches.

And then, probably even more surprising, Jesus tells Nicodemus that the Son’s mission in this world is salvation.

Nicodemus came to Jesus knowing that God judges sin. He came knowing the promises God had made to Israel. He came knowing the Scriptures and knowing that God was merciful.

But what Jesus was about to show him was just how far God was willing to go to save people.

Save sinners. Save outsiders. Save people who didn’t have everything figured out. Save people Nicodemus might never have imagined being included in the story.

Nicodemus knew about the judgment of God. But Jesus wanted Nicodemus to understand the rescue mission of God.

Just as God rescued the people of Israel in Numbers, God was now moving toward the world to rescue it.

In a sense, Jesus was telling him that the story from Numbers was pointing toward himself.

The serpent was lifted up so dying people could live.

The Son will be lifted up so that dying people can live.

And this is where I think we need to sit with that word world for a minute ourselves.

Because modern Christianity sometimes unconsciously rewrites John 3:16 as:

“For God so loved the people who eventually believed the correct things…”

But that’s not what the sentence says.

It says:

God loved the world.

Love precedes response.

God doesn’t send Jesus because the world cleaned itself up.

God doesn’t send Jesus because everybody believed correctly.

God doesn’t send Jesus because humanity finally deserved Him.

God’s movement toward humanity begins with God’s character—not humanity’s worthiness.

God loved first.

Jesus came to Rescue, not just point out what was wrong.

This may be exclusive to me and my prior experiences with religion and faith, so the words that the verse starts with “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world” is especially stirring.

For a long time, I felt like I was being told about a God who condemns people. I felt like people saw themselves as just sinful and worthless and hopeless and all these other kinds of negative adjectives. And they spoke of a God who found them and changed them to be wonderful. But in that frame of mind, God seemed to be a paradox. It seemed like I had to balance this idea that God thought I was awful….in the same hands as the way that the same God now found them as wonderful. But to hold that, in the same breath, it is very anxiety-inducing and makes me feel like God is more interested in changing me, than seeing me for who I am, because who I am, isn’t good enough. In fact, I felt like the message of not being good enough for God was spoken more than the idea that God loves me. And eventually, I had to ask, that if the most famous scripture in the world says that God so loved the world before the world had the opportunity to be changed….why had I been taught to believe that I needed to change before I could really believe God loved me?

But feeling like you’re sinful and worthless and hopeless…..those words are the result of condemnation. It says “Look what you’ve done.” It shames us. It tells us we are good for nothing.

And we proceed with our spiritual lives just like that.

When we mess up, we feel guilty and ashamed that we can’t focus on anything else.

But this scripture says God didn’t come to condemn us. Jesus didn’t ever make someone feel guilty or ashamed of who they were. I can’t find a single time, where Jesus speaks down to another person or belittles them because of what they’re doing.

However, he does criticize some people. He was the harshest to those religious people whose religion and beliefs are hurting other people.

But we do it to them, anyways.

That doesn’t mean that Jesus just pretended sin didn’t matter, because you don’t need a Savior if there isn’t anything to be saved from. Jesus didn’t come to identify the problem and condemn the people in the problem. Jesus came to be the solution. Jesus came to rescue us.

Jesus came to help us identify what our sins were doing to us, and call us to return back home, to be restored.

It’s like a firefighter, who arrives at a burning house. The firefighter doesn’t stand on the sidewalk, just shouting to everyone who can hear, “Who left the stove on?” While there may eventually be questions about how the fire started, and there might be an investigation. There might be consequences. There may need to be things changed before anybody can cook dinner in the house again. But when the flames are blazing, and someone is trapped inside the house, finding out the cause isn’t the first concern. The firefighter’s first concern is to go through the door and rescue the person trapped inside. The rescue is his mission and first priority.

The same is so with Jesus. Rescuing us is our first priority. Stepping into our brokenness, our shame, our pain and our sin was his first priority. Stepping into our world that desperately needed him, was the first priority.

God so loved us, and the cross is proof that God didn’t stand at a safe distance from human brokenness, he entered it, walked around in it, and calls us out of it into restoration. Not condemnation.

If Jesus doesn’t Condemn, neither should We

This is where John 3:17 gets uncomfortable.

It is very easy to celebrate the fact that Jesus didn’t condemn us while we become very comfortable condemning everybody else.

Who gave us permission?

We are easy to point out what’s wrong. Wrong with the world. Wrong with our culture. Wrong with the church. Wrong with somebody’s lifestyle. Wrong with their decisions. Wrong with their family. Wrong with their theology. Condemnation does just that, it says that someone is the problem and they are in the wrong.

And sometimes, we might even be right about what is wrong.

But who gave us permission?

What are we doing about it?

Jesus didn’t simply identify brokenness.

He moved towards it.

He touched people that everyone else avoided. He ate with people that religious folks turned way. He stopped for people everyone ignored. He gave dignity to people that were discarded. He didn’t compromise truth. He convicted people, urging them and asking them to notice how what they are doing is hurting someone else, or separating them from the life God has called them to live.

But He also never used truth as an excuse to stop loving people.

Condemning people attacks identity. But the other? It invites transformation.

And maybe that’s one of the greatest challenges of John 3:17.

When we see somebody whose life is burning down, are we more interested in determining who started the fire— or are we willing to help them get out? The world already has plenty of people standing outside pointing at the smoke. Maybe the Church ought to be the people running toward the house.

Not because sin doesn’t matter.

Not because truth doesn’t matter.

But because people matter to God.

John 3:16 tells us how much:

“God so loved the world…”

John 3:17 tells us what He did about it:

He came to save it.

And if we are going to carry the name of Jesus into this world, perhaps people should encounter something similar when they encounter us. Not people who pretend everything is okay. Not people who never speak truth. But people whose truth is wrapped in love. People who love people first, before anything else. People who move toward hurting people. People who make room for restoration. People who would rather throw somebody a lifeline than throw another stone.

Because we follow a Savior who looked at a broken world and didn’t say:

“Look what they’ve done.”

He said:

“I’m going after them.”

Because, really, if the ONLY one who has ever been entitled to shame us, belittle us or hold us as less than….if that ONLY one who had earned that ability refused to do any of that….then why do we? Why do we feel entitled to do any of that to anyone, if our Savior did not? Who gave us permission?

Closing Thought

John 3:16 says God loved people.

John 3:17 says God came to restore people.

And now the question becomes:

How are we going to proceed?

We decided somebody wasn’t welcome.

Who gave us permission?

We decided someone’s past made them less worthy?

Who gave us permission?

We decided that somebody’s questions meant their faith wasn’t real?

Who gave us permission?

We decided somebody had to get their life together before they could belong?

Who gave us permission?

We decided that defending the truth gave us permission to humiliate another human being.

Who gave us permission?

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world…..

Fruit of the Spirit Series: Against Such there is No Law

And….we come to an end…to a brilliant series.

Against such there is no law.

If you’ve been joining us, we’ve been digging into the Fruits of the Spirit for this summer series, and I’ve been truly enjoying it, and I hope you have as well. I hope you have found this revisit a refresh and an encouragement to keep doing the darn thing.

So let’s dig into this last phrase: Against Such There is No Law

Two Ways to Live

So I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. -Galatians 5:16-18

To start at the end, I’d like to visit the beginning. Paul is the speaker here, and he explains that the flesh and the Spirit often desire things that are contrary to one another. And that is challenging to wrestle with, particularly when whatever the flesh wants, it’s well-deserved in our eyes. But we, who are led by the Spirit, realize that to walk in the Spirit sometimes means that the people who hurt us, don’t get what they deserve from us.

Because it was never our job to get even. It wasn’t our job to set the scales in the right.

Our job is to live by the Spirit.

And if all you get from this series is that we have some rules as Christians, then you’ve missed the mark. Christians are not supposed to live by rules, but sometimes, Christians think the fruits of the Spirit are new rules to replace the old way of living. They think we have to be more loving, more joyful, more peaceful, more patient, more kind, better, more faithful, gentler and control ourselves. And if a bunch of rules is all we’ve taken from this passage, then we’ve simply replaced one list of rules with another. Which we will screw up, I mean I know myself.

The point is not a new list of rules, the point is this:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” -Galatians 5:22-23

Notice the wording there in the beginning.

Fruit OF the Spirit

Fruit is not something that a branch manufactures in themselves or by their own determination. They don’t sit around and just think up a branch offshoot into a piece of fruit. Fruit grows because the branch is alive and connected to its source.

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself….-John 15:4-5

Jesus is saying here that just as a branch cannot bear fruit apart from the vine, we cannot bear this spiritual fruit apart from following Him. And for us to produce spiritual fruits, we have to allow ourselves to be changed by our proximity to Jesus. It will happen naturally, but it takes time.

Why do we mention laws in the first place?

When I first looked at that last statement, it puzzled and perplexed me, because the verse isn’t talking about laws. But the point wasn’t missed on the Christians Paul was addressing this letter to. They got the point. But you and I often need more explanation.

Against such there is no law.

Before we think about that, let’s think about the purpose of the law.

Why does society need laws? When you take away the law in a society, you take away the order. You take away consequence from the disorder. Human desires, if you leave them unchecked, they don’t always lead towards what is good. Laws provide boundaries and restrain destructive behaviors for most of the population. If there were no laws, according to Paul, he believes that our works of the flesh would lead to many negative things. Take a look at the list he made in Galatians 5:19-21. Just look at it. Hatred, jealousy, rage, selfishness…..it’s quite a list of the worst of humanity.

If you and I are one of these things all the time, it will destroy what we have. It’ll destroy our relationships with the people we love. It will destroy our marriages. It will destroy families. It will destroy churches. It will destroy communities. Entire societies could be destroyed if there are no guardrails to deter us from falling into that trap.

Love does no harm to a neighbor. -Romans 13:10

If we have no guardrails and we just completely give into the desires of what we want, and forgetting other people, we eventually will harm other people. We will be the ones who hurt others.

But the life molded by the Spirit is the opposite, the Spirit produces good things. It gives me the ability to choose to love, choose to be kind, to choose to be gentle, because of the work of God in me.

Against Such there is No Law

Think about that statement and let’s be literal for a moment.

What law would you make against these things? What law would you make to deter people from being loving? Or being kind? Or being too faithful? Or being too gentle?

Wouldn’t that be a weird law?

There isn’t a need for a law to guard against us being too much of the Fruit of the Spirit, because being in the Spirit does not harm our neighbor. It’s actually a blessing to our neighbor.

We bring good to the lives of others, when we submit to the work of God in our lives to produce fruits of the spirit.

Fruit fulfills what the Law was pointing Toward

For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: Love your neighbor as yourself. -Galatians 5:14

The Old Testament and Torah was what the new Christians had previously oriented their lives around. They had specific times of the day that they got up, and there were things they did a certain way because the scriptures demanded it. The law was there to show people how they were to love each other.

And when I read those laws, I realize, there is no way I could possibly follow all of them and get them all right.

Paul told his followers: The entire law is fulfilled in love. And then, a few verses later, he names love as the first fruit. That’s not accidental. And then he summarizes the end that Against such there is no law. That’s also not accidental. Compare it with what Paul says in other places:

• Romans 13:8: Whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.
• Romans 13:10: Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the Law.

Here’s the difference between merely obeying a rule and being transformed by the Spirit. Suppose someone asks you, “Do I really need a commandment telling me not to steal from my neighbor?”

If I genuinely love my neighbor, something deeper has happened here. If I love you, I don’t want to steal from you. I don’t want to lie about you. I don’t want to take advantage of you. I don’t want to destroy your reputation. I won’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt your family. I only want what is good for you.

The law can tell me not to hurt my neighbor, but the Spirit changes me so that I desire good for my neighbor.

And that’s much deeper than rule-following.

The Goal was never merely “don’t do bad things”

Christianity can easily become defined by the things we don’t do. Don’t do this. Don’t do that. Don’t say that. Don’t go there. Don’t participate in this. Don’t support this. And certainly, we can find any Scripture to give us commands and boundaries in every situation and circumstance.

But if we reduce our faith to a list of things we successfully avoided, we have missed something.

If anyone, then, know the good things they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. James 4:17

God isn’t merely interested in the absence of evil. He desires the presence of Good. There’s a difference between saying “I didn’t hate anybody today” and “I loved somebody today.” There’s a difference between “I didn’t lose my temper” and “I responded with gentleness.” There’s a difference between “I didn’t hurt anyone” and “I showed kindness to someone.”

The absence of bad fruit is not the same as the presence of good fruit. Our lives are not measured by what has disappeared from our lives because we followed the rules, and we don’t become a mature Christian from avoiding it. Our maturity is revealed by what has begun growing there.

There’s no law against being a full, mature Christian, because the things that we will do because we have been impacted by the fruits of the Spirit growing in our lives….those are the things that people want and benefit from!

So what’s growing in you?

What’s growing in you?

That’s the question I want to end with.

What’s growing in you?

Not what rules have you been better at following?

Not what sins have you gotten better at hiding?

Not even How much better are you than the person beside you?

What is growing in you?

Because fruit tells you something about the tree.

By their fruit you will recognize them….-Matthew 7:16

So when people encounter you, or when people encounter me, are they encountering more love than they did a year ago?

How about more joy?

How about more peace?

Am I becoming more patient with people who are difficult to be patient with?

Am I becoming kinder, or choosing goodness, or more faithful, more gentle or more self-controlled?

After spending an entire summer thinking about the Fruit of the Spirit series, what I don’t want us to walk away from this series thinking that we have nine more things to work on.

That’s not the point.

The fruits we produce were never the source. The fruits we produce are because of the work of the Spirit in us.

A branch doesn’t grit its teeth and say, I’m going to make an apple today. It stays connected to the tree. It receives what the tree gives it.

And slowly—sometimes so slowly that you don’t even notice it’s happening—fruit begins to grow.

Maybe that’s what God has been doing in you. Maybe you’re not where you want to be yet, but you’re more patient than you used to be. Maybe you forgive a little quicker. Maybe you don’t have to have the last word anymore. Maybe something that once sent you into a rage now sends you to prayer. Maybe you’re learning that gentleness isn’t weakness. Maybe you’re discovering that joy doesn’t require everything in your life to be going right. Maybe you’re finally learning to love someone who hasn’t made themselves particularly easy to love.

That’s fruit.

And fruit is evidence that God is at work.

But maybe there’s another fruit on this list that still makes you uncomfortable.

Maybe every time we’ve talked about patience, you’ve known.

Every time we’ve talked about self-control, you’ve known.

Every time we’ve talked about kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, love—you’ve known.

There’s an area of your life that you haven’t completely surrendered to God yet.

Then maybe the end of this series isn’t really an ending at all.

Maybe it’s an invitation.

Paul doesn’t stop after saying:

“Against such things there is no law.”

He keeps going.

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” — Galatians 5:24

And then he gives us what I think is the perfect way to end this entire series:

“Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” — Galatians 5:25

Keep in step.

That’s it.

Tomorrow morning, keep in step. When somebody gets on your nerves, keep in step. When somebody hurts you and everything in your flesh says they deserve to hurt too, keep in step. When you’re tempted to say the thing you know you shouldn’t say, keep in step. When kindness costs you something, keep in step. When faithfulness becomes inconvenient, keep in step. When patience has been stretched thin, keep in step. When nobody is watching and self-control is entirely up to you, keep in step.

Because this whole series was never really about becoming nicer people.

It wasn’t about learning nine Christian personality traits.

And it certainly wasn’t about giving ourselves nine more rules that we can fail to keep.

It was about becoming more like Jesus.

And we do that by staying close enough to Him that His Spirit begins producing in us things we could never consistently produce on our own.

Love.

Joy.

Peace.

Patience.

Kindness.

Goodness.

Faithfulness.

Gentleness.

Self-control.

And here’s the beautiful thing about a life like that:

Nobody needs protection from it.

Nobody needs a law against it.

Nobody needs a guardrail to keep you from loving them too genuinely, being too kind to them, being too faithful to them, treating them too gently, or exercising too much godly self-control.

Quite the opposite.

The world needs more of it. Our homes need more of it. Our marriages need more of it. Our churches need more of it. Our communities need more of it.

The people who encounter us need more of it.

So maybe the final question of the Fruit of the Spirit isn’t, “How much fruit do I have?”

Maybe it’s simply:

“Am I still connected to the One who grows it?”

Because if we stay close to Him, He will keep working. He will keep pruning. He will keep changing us. And He will keep producing fruit.

So after an entire summer of talking about the Fruit of the Spirit, I think Paul gives us the perfect final word:

Don’t just admire the fruit.
Don’t just memorize the fruit.
Don’t turn the fruit into another set of rules.

Stay close to the One who grows it.

“Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”

And if we do that, the fruit will come.

Against such there is no law.

Fruit of the Spirit Series: Self- Control

As we are close to wrapping up this sermon series, I can tell you that this has been rather an exciting process for me. I’ve actually wanted to go through this series for a long time, just didn’t ever take the time to do so. I hope you’ve gotten a good bit of something from this, because I know I certainly have, and I thank you for coming along with me on this journey. As we’ve been going through this series, one by one, each fruit has revealed us more and more who we are, by sometimes revealing who we aren’t. Instead of beating ourselves up and saying “well I am just so horrible” or “I’m just the worst person ever. ” I hope this instead has been encouragement for you to look to the Lord for help, and know that you’re a work in progress. I also hope that you’ve seen places where you’ve thought back in your life and have been able to say “do you remember when this happened? If it happened today, I wouldn’t have reacted that way?” And that’s evidence of God working in your life, and I don’t know about you, but that’s something to be celebrated!

Self-Control is Not Willpower, it is Fruit

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. -Galatians 5:22-23

We’ve looked at fruit before throughout this series, and one of the characteristics of fruit that we’ve looked at over and over again, is that fruit is produced over time, it is something that is active and is growing. Self-control is a fruit as well.

But we like to approach it by saying something like this: “I need to try harder,” or “I need more discipline” or “I need to get myself together.

Biblical self-control doesn’t happen because we make it happen. We don’t produce the fruit, but we do participate in its growth.

The Spirit empowers; we yield.
The Spirit convicts; we obey.
The Spirit provides strength; we make the choice.

All this, every fruit, only happens because of the work of God in our lives. The question isn’t “Can I control myself?” It never was meant to be that. You and I weren’t supposed to try to produce fruit on our own. Actually, when we try to do something, I don’t know about you, but I mess it up, every single time. The question should be, “Who is controlling me?” It’s about surrender. You and I have to surrender to the work God has done in our lives, that will cause us to produce more fruit. 

But we mess up, don’t we?  We get it wrong, don’t we?  I know I do.  I like to try to control myself, and I like to try to do it on my own.  Something will happen, and I’ll get myself all worked up and twisted up about it for one reason or another.  But that’s when I’m forgetting that self-control is not merely controlling yourself, it is actually allowing the Holy Spirit to govern the things that would otherwise control you.  When I do that, I find peace.  When I do that, I can make it. 

Without Self-Control, We Leave Ourselves Unguarded

Like a city whose walls are broken through, is a person who lacks self-control.  -Proverbs 25:28

When the writer of Proverbs was writing this, he was writing it from a perspective of being uniquely aware of what the function of walls were for a city.  In that day and time, having walls around your city ensured that you were not vulnerable, not only from attacks, but from the elements.  When whole cities were taken over, the walls were the first thing to go.  Walls never prevented the enemy from existing.  The enemy would always exist until they were wiped out, but the wall prevented the enemy from having unrestricted access.  Without that, a city would have nothing to protect its members from being constantly at the mercy of the elements or constantly defending their city.  Today, we don’t typically build walls around our cities, and as such, the idea that the writer is communicating here would be more akin to our use of a security system today.  But then, the wall was the city’s entire security system. 

When we say that a person who lacks self-control is like a city without walls, we are saying that self-control must be protection.  Self-control will create boundaries in our lives that prevent us from giving that unrestricted access to the vices you and I have that stand to distract us from doing what it is that we need to do.  Whether it be our addictions, or be our emotions….self-control prevents us from overdoing it and making an even bigger mess of our lives. 

Self-Control is a Sign of Strength, Not Weakness

Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.  -Proverbs 16:32

When you and I think of strong people, we think of body builders.  The one with the big biceps and bulging muscles.  We think of the people who stay at the gym and who eat lots of protein.  In short, we define strength by what a person can do to others.  I call those people strong, because if they decided they wanted to arm-wrestle or body wrestle me, I would lose in a heartbeat. 

Scripture defines strength and measures it by what a person can restrain within themselves.  While that person may have the ability to do whatever, holy strength, is the ability to not do so, even though they can. 

Let me give an example, that might make that a little less muddy.

When something happens, anyone can react.  Everyone will react.  Anyone can say what they’re thinking, even though it might not be the most kind or loving thing.  Anyone can retaliate when they’re hurt, and strike back with venomous words when they’re hurt.  Anyone can lose their temper, and use that anger to destroy anything.  Anyone can justify doing what feels good in the moment, regardless of the consequences. 

But have you ever tried not doing that? 

Have you ever tried holding your tongue, when you really want to say what you’re thinking, but you don’t because you care about them?  Have you ever tried to stop yourself from hurting the person who just hurt you?  Have you ever tried to maintain your cool when someone really pissed you off?  Have you ever tried to hold back and not doing something that you really want to do, but you’re not going to do because it’s wrong?

That is strength. 

If we follow Jesus and we follow the model that Jesus did, we see that there were multiple times where Jesus could have….but didn’t.  Self control isn’t passivity, it isn’t weakness, it isn’t allowing others to mistreat us.

Self-control is having the power to respond differently and choosing to submit that power to God, and leaving it in God’s hand.

Yes, they’re gonna do whatever.  Yes, they’re gonna hurt you.  Yes, they’re gonna cut corners.

But when you and I demonstrate that we have control over ourselves, and we respond like so, we show just how strong we are, and who is in control of our lives. 

Self-Control Lives in the Space Between Feeling and Response

[Be] quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.  -James 1:19-20

Notice the language that James uses, quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.  James would go on to explain that human anger doesn’t produce the righteousness that God desires.  In this scripture, James creates a space between what happens and how we respond.  And if you’re like me, my world seems to demand an immediate response to something that happens.  But I am learning more and more that there is space between what happens and my response.

Feelings are real.  You’re entitled to feel angry.  You’re entitled to feel hurt.  You’re entitled to be afraid.  You can feel feelings, but those feelings don’t have to become our instructions.  It is possible to stop, feel the feelings, and then figure out what the best way to proceed is going to be.  Sometimes, it’s not the best idea to respond in anger, fear, pride, desire or hurt.  Sometimes, the best response is to respond in self control, knowing you can feel something, but you don’t have to obey the feeling. 

Maturity creates a pause.  Maturity creates space between what happened, and your response.  That pause is our self-control.  It doesn’t mean that you stop experiencing emotional responses to what happened, it just means  you stop allowing those emotions to make your decisions for you.  And when you stop allowing those emotions to make your decisions, you’re showing self-control in a way that changes the atmosphere of where you are. 

Our Mouths are the First Places Self-Control Becomes Visible

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  Proverbs 15:1

You and I cannot control what someone says to us.  We can’t control how someone treats us.  We can’t control when someone misunderstands us.  We can’t control whether someone agrees with us.  We can’t control someone else’s attitude. 

But with the Holy Spirit working in us, to create self-control within us, we can control the way that we respond to those situations and those people.  And the greatest test of our self control isn’t what we say when we are calm.  It’s in the moments we are our most angry, or exhausted, or embarrassed, or disrespected or frustrated, or corrected or disappointed…it is in those moments that the way we respond reveals what is governing us. 

When you and I take a step back, surrender to the work of God, you will find that in those situations, we may respond in a more gentle manner than we want.  Being gentle in our response is not surrender.  It’s not admitting the person is right. 

It’s actually deciding that you’re not going to allow their behavior to control your reaction.  When another person’s behavior determines our own, then they are exercising more control over us than we are. 

What does self-control look like when your spouse says something that hits exactly the wrong nerve? When somebody posts something about you online? When a coworker takes credit for something you did? When your grown child makes a decision you disagree with? When somebody says something disrespectful and you already know exactly what you could say that would hurt them back?

Then:

The question isn’t whether I have a response. The question is whether every response I have deserves to come out of my mouth.

The Spirit Gives us the Power to Exercise Self-Control

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.  -2 Timothy 1:7

It’s not about trying harder.  It’s not about doing our best to be whatever.

Our self-control is not get yourself together. 

Part of self-control is yielding ourselves more completely to God.  When we do that, God gives us the strength to make a different choice, that’s power.  God changes the motivation behind our choices to be coming from a place of love.  God gives us self-discipline, and we are able to govern our actions instead of being governed by our impulses.  The best part, the Holy Spirit’s job isn’t to simply convict us after we lose control, it is to empower us before we lose control so that we can make a different choice.  In the moment we are most tempted to send the message, or make the comment, or lose our temper, or buy the thing, or return to the addiction, or saying something we will regret…..the Holy Spirit is that voice saying You don’t have to do this. 

We Must Practice it. 

Like every other fruit, Self-control grows.  It has to be practiced though.  Nobody can plant a fruit tree today on Sunday and expect mature fruit on Monday.  Similarly, all spiritual fruit has to take time to develop and to grow, and that comes from our relationship with God.    It comes from yielding to the Holy Spirit’s calls to obedience over time.  Every time that we hold our tongue or walk away from temptation, or forgive, or wait when we are told to, or praying before responding, or choosing what the Holy Spirit calls us to, instead of what we want.

Every time, we are practicing submission to the Spirit. 

You see, self control realizes it’s not about what you and I want, it’s about that submission to God. 

Ultimately, when it comes to self-control, it’s about who’s in control.

Who’s in control?

Because Paul identifies self-control as a fruit of the Spirit produced by the Spirit, the question isn’t whether or not we need more self-control.

We can’t do it on our own.

The question is, and becomes, What is controlling me? 

It’s simple.

Where have I allowed my walls and boundaries to come down?

What emotion, appetite, habit, desire or reaction has been making decisions that should belong to God?

Am I trying harder to control myself, or am I surrendering more of myself to the Holy Spirit?

It’s simple, but that doesn’t mean easy. 

Self-control isn’t the absence of desire, it’s not the absence of emotion.  It doesn’t mean we aren’t tempted. 

It’s submission to a greater authority. 

When the Spirit governs us, anger doesn’t have to control us.  Desire doesn’t have to control us.  Fear doesn’t have to control us.  Other people’s behavior doesn’t have to control us.  Our hurt doesn’t have to control us.  We can feel all of these feelings, but self-control means that we don’t obey it. 

We can want something without taking it.

We can think something without saying it.

We can be hurt without hurting someone else.

And we can do all of these things, not because we have just this superhuman willpower, but because the Spirit of God is producing fruit in us.

It’s simple, but it doesn’t mean easy.  Self-control can actually be pretty freaking hard.  But it’s not impossible.

Thankfully, we have a helper who is ready, willing and able to help. 

Five years ago, I would have said it—but today I didn’t. That’s fruit.
I used to let that anger control me—but today I paused. That’s fruit.
I used to have no boundaries there—but God has helped me rebuild the wall. That’s fruit.

Not perfection. Fruit.

And fruit is evidence that something is alive and growing on the inside.

Fruit of the Spirit Series: Gentleness

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

And we are back! I have been MIA the last few weeks because I have been in the process of starting school again. If you don’t know, I’m a teacher, and the process of starting school, getting back into the routine and trying hard to get back into the sleeping schedule…it’s just all quite the challenge for me. I love my summers because I have not a single schedule in my head. Not so much now. But most of us are still in summer mode, so lets get to finishing this series!

Last time we talked about faithfulness. We talked about how God remains faithful even when we wander. This week we’re going to ask a different question: What do we do when someone else wanders?

What do we actually mean when we say someone is gentle?

If you’re like me, I think of someone who is similar to a teddy bear. Someone who gives away when squeezed. Who is rather passive, who avoids any real tension. Who doesn’t stand up for themselves. Who is just kinda there, not really contributing any real opinions. Someone who doesn’t have a spine.

But that’s not really what it means to be gentle.

If we look at the opposite kind of person, like the most opposite of persons, it is someone who is a “my way or the highway” kind of person. A person who is active, aggressive and is looking for a fight to fight to the death. This person believes everyone should think just like them, who wants everyone around them to think and believe just like them. They will insert themselves and their opinion, even when it’s not asked for. It is someone who is unaware of how they come off. And I don’t know if there’s a single word that describes all of that.

Gentleness isn’t weak or passive, actually. Gentleness is more of a quality, and for some of us, it is a quality that we ask for from others, but rarely give out to others.

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. -Philippians 4:5

I believe Paul is intentional in the fact that he says “gentle” here, because he could have chosen weakness. He could have chosen another word, but he chooses this one, because there’s a difference between gentleness and weakness. But then he says that it should be “evident” to all people. It should be obvious, it should be on display. The way that you move and work in your life, you should show your gentleness to all people, even those who don’t know you. People should see our gentleness in us.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. -Proverbs 15:1

Gentleness changes the room. In our world today, there’s not a lot of gentle people. But when you encounter them, you know it, because they stand completely separate from most of the world. They move differently through this world, they act differently through this world, and they consider more than most people of this world.

Jesus described himself as Gentle

Come to me, all you are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest….for I am gentle and humble in heart. -Matthew 11:28-30

When I think of this verse, I often think of it from a “what’s in it for me” kind of perspective. I think of it as a call for me to come to Jesus and give Jesus my burdens, and I’ll be lighter and more happy and all that. But when I shift my perspective, and I see the text as a description of Jesus, I see that Jesus is gentle and humble in heart. Because Jesus is gentle with us, when we come to Jesus with our problems and our burdens and we are just at the end of our rope, Jesus is gentle with us.

Because he could not be. Sometimes, the mess I am in, is because I have exactly made it that way. And Jesus, in all of his knowledge, could say to me something along the lines like this: “Well, when you did _______, you should have known it would lead to _______ and now you’re here complaining to me about what happened.” Sometimes, the very mess we are in, is because of our own doing, and I am thankful that the Lord is gentle with me in those situations, because I would not receive that accountability well in those moments!

Jesus says “I am gentle” and in his journey on earth, he was inviting the people society often neglected to care for, the weary, the burdened, the exhausted, the ones who are carrying too much. Jesus never said “come to me when you’ve gotten your life together” or “come to me when you deserve my grace.” Jesus just said “come to me.” If God is faithful and remains faithful when we wander, Jesus is gentle when we are weary.

We are met in our weariness, and you and I probably have a testimony, a story of a time when you were just going through it, and Jesus was just so gentle and kind, and took your burdens and helped you through it, all, even if you didn’t deserve or earn it. Even when it was a mess you made for yourself.

We should treat others with gentleness when we have power

If someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. -Galatians 6:1

There’s a lot here. And I’ll be honest, this is a verse that not too many pastors and preachers mention often.

So, people are human, they make mistakes, and they do something wrong. Gentleness does not mean pretending that this wrong they have done, doesn’t exist, but the goal is restoration. Not to humiliate, not to punish, not to expose, destroy or shame. But to restore. Notice how we are supposed to restore: gently.

This means to me, that the point of Christianity isn’t about being right. It doesn’t matter that we’re in the “right” and they’re in the “wrong.” The point of Christianity might be “How do I treat someone when they’re in need of restoration?” When handled rightly, with gentleness, that could really change the trajectory of a person’s life. But when a mistake is not handled correctly, and a mistake is met with harshness…it can really damage some relationships and it it can really damage some people in a way that they’ll never be the same.

The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome, but must be kind to everyone….opponents must be gently instructed….” -2 Timothy 2:24-25

Even when we come up against people who are our opponents, our enemies, even those who have hurt us deeply, Paul says that we should respond in gentleness.

But Paul doesn’t know! Paul doesn’t know how that person treated me. Paul doesn’t know what they said about me. Paul doesn’t know how they hurt me. Paul doesn’t know the tears I have cried. Paul just doesn’t know! We can say all that we want, and while it is true, it doesn’t really matter, because Paul realizes that you and I, as believers, are playing an extremely different game here. Paul realizes that Jesus sees and knows all. He knows the hurt, and he knows the pain, which is why we’re not supposed to come to each other, because we only know one side of the story. We’re supposed to come to Jesus with our hurts and our burdens, because Jesus knows the whole story. Jesus knows what happened. But Jesus also knows the context in which the mistake was waged.

Jesus has a different perspective and asks us to trust that perspective over getting even or being harsh in return.

Gentleness challenges our need to win.

This actually falls in like with a book I’m reading right now by Andy Stanley, Not In It to Win It. And in this book, he describes our world as one that is focused on winning. Everyone wants to win. Political campaigns want to win. Lobbyists want to win. And churches even want to win. Church members want to win.

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. –Romans 14:1

This verse stares in the face of those of us who want to win arguements. This verse tells us to “accept” the ones who have weaker faith. Who don’t have all of it figured out, who perhaps don’t fall in line with all of the finer points of the faith, and to not argue about it.

Why? That seems very against every impulse in my body when it comes to people who don’t believe the same thing I believe.

Paul knows that believers are going to disagree. And he doesn’t tell us to make sure everyone agrees in the same thing. But in his saying “accept one another”, he is saying that the way we treat each other is more important than the way we agree with each other.

Let us therefore, make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. -Romans 14:19

Let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. -James 1:19-20

Because sometimes, different people arrive at different parts of the belief at different times. And sometimes, that people that needs to arrive at a different part of the belief might be you. It requires us to trust in a Savior that is continuously working in our lives to change us and to change our perspectives.

Not every disagreement requires a winner, and it may not even be our job to be the winner of the argument. And in the moments where I or you are the winner of the argument, we may convince someone else that they are unloved. In that situation, what exactly have we accomplished? When people are “wrong” and the way that we treat them isn’t kind….and they think they are unloved in the process….we have lost completely.

The question isn’t only, “Is what I am saying true?”
The question is also, “Does the way I am saying it look like Jesus?”

Gentleness doesn’t mean avoiding hard truth.

People who are not gentle, are quick to come back with what I just said with, “well how do we speak the truth in love if we can’t be harsh?” And then, the jump becomes, “well I guess that means I can never hold people accountable and that means Christians become soft.”

The answer in the middle is gentleness.

It’s not sentimental, and it’s not a weak stance.

But there is a way to “speak the truth in love” that doesn’t dehumanize a person. Paul never eliminated speaking about what is true, but gentleness asks of you and me to speak the truth, without the truth being a weapon or an attack.

Truth doesn’t become more true because we are cruel when we speak it.

It’s easy for us to use the truth like daggers and spears, but it rarely actually gives us the outcome we want, it actually leads to destruction of relationships and trust. Gentleness is required, to speak the truth in such a way that it is still spoken, but spoken in a way that is not in an attack strategy.

Let your conversation be always full of grace….-Colossians 4:6

Grace and gentleness doesn’t mean dishonesty. It means that the way we communicate truth reflects the grace we ourselves have received. In short, it’s the way we say it, not what we really say, that makes all the difference.

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. -Romans 15:1-2

So how do we deal with people who are in the wrong, if I can’t use truth as a weapon? How do we change people’s actions to meet the truth?

The question no longer stems from a “How do I get my way?” kind of purpose. We are told to no longer have this perspective, but rather, adopt a different kind of perspective, “How can I build this person up?” How can I encourage them in their faith? How can I help them to grow? That is our focus, and should be the focus driving everything that we do.

Love is patient, love is kind….it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking…” -1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Gentleness is ultimately an expression of love that should supersede anything else that we try to do. If our mantra and our standard is to love others, then gentleness is the way that we love others. Even when we think they are wrong. Even when they don’t quite align all the way with the church or Jesus. Even when they’re just not there yet…love is the way we approach them in the process, because not everyone gets to the same place and space at the same time.

Gentleness toward ourselves

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. -Psalm 103:13-14

You and I are dust.

We are unfinished.

We still have a ways to go.

I know of no person in my life, that thinks of themselves as “perfection” or “complete.” We are all works-in-progress.

But you and I, while we often see ourselves as that way, we fail to see each other as that way.

God knows we’re in the process. God knows we are actually going to mess it all up and to screw it all up.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus -Romans 8:1

When we were talking about our “faithfulness” sermon a few weeks ago, I mentioned a song that had a verse that said “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it.” And I spoke about how sometimes you and I are not faithful. How sometimes, you and I are prone to wander from our faith.

Think about that, and then I want you to think about this: What if we treated ourselves with some of the gentleness God has already shown us? What if we treated each other that way? When you and I wander, God doesn’t condemn us, God isn’t angry with us….instead God just opens up love again, to wrap us in it again, until the next time we need it.

There are no conditions. There’s no terms that we have to agree with. There’s no requirements we have to believe in, we are just met with gentleness and love. God’s gentleness isn’t something we earn by getting everything right.

What does gentleness actually look like?

Pause.

Quick to listen, slow to speak -James 1:19

Before you and I assume, we need to clarify. That’s what gentleness means and looks like.

To answer before listening–that is folly and shame. -Proverbs 18:13

Listen.

Restore that person gently -Galatians 6:1

Remember your own unfinishedness. Remember we’re all not done yet.

And then, when it is time for you to speak or respond remember that your motive behind what you’re saying should be one of gentleness.

Will this heal, or am I simply trying to hurt?

When someone wanders:

Encourage.

Help.

Be patient.

When someone disagrees:

Encourage.

Help.

Be patient.

When someone hurts you:

Encourage.

Help.

Be patient.

Return to Faithfulness

God is faithful, even when we wander.

And God is gentle even when we are difficult.

And if the point of our faith and our belief in God is to make us more like God, then:

Because God has been faithful and gentle with us, we should become people how are also faithful and gentle with others.

Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love. -Ephesians 4:2

And I don’t know if you have noticed something, but it seems as we go deeper into this Fruit of the Spirit series, it seems like the Fruits of the Spirit are beginning to overlap with each other. You can’t love without being gentle. You can’t be gentle without patience. You can’t be humble without love.

The overlap there is really important, because although we think of the Fruit of the Spirit as nine independent personality traits, they’re not. They become the character of a person who is being transformed by the Spirit of God.

The Way we Hold One Another

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it….

You and I are going to wander. We know this of ourselves, but we often act as if we don’t expect it in other people.

I begin to close today by telling a story from my own life. Years ago, I had someone in my life that was a champion for the truth. Anyone who questioned or anyone who disagreed, they saw and treated as an enemy, even if they weren’t. I, myself, rarely seem to 100% follow in-line with anything, because I still have some ways to go. But anyways, we were discussing an issue, that we disagreed heavily in. To this day, I believe that this person believes that the way they acted towards me, they acted in love….but it sure didn’t feel like it. The way they spoke to me was very unkind and very harsh, and they threw scripture verses at me in a way that I felt that I was attacked.

Gentleness asks us What do we do when someone else wanders?

If our answer is to shame them, abandon them, correct them, expose them, write them off….we have missed the point of the grace that Jesus gave us.

The attacking kept coming, and honestly I was exhausted being on the receiving end of the so-called love they were handing out. And for believing the way I did, or thinking the way that I did, and because I wasn’t willing, at that moment, to change my stance on something….a private conversation became public and they exposed me and where I was, to people who weren’t even part of the conversation.

And had God not intervened, I could have used this event to turn me away from the Lord completely. Had God not been gentle with me, and had God not maintained his comforting peace throughout this journey….I would have used this to walk away.

Through this experience, God used this, to teach me about gentleness, and teach me that it’s more important, the way you treat people, than it is for you and I to be right.

If we hold them gently, we are following in the way of God, and treating others the way we, ourselves have been treated.

Encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. -1 Thessalonians 5:14

What do we do when someone else wanders?

Encourage.

Help.

Be patient.

What do we do when we disagree?

Encourage.

Help.

Be patient.

When someone wanders, encourage them.
When someone is struggling, help them.
When someone is difficult, be patient with them.

And when you’re tempted to ask, “Why can’t they just get it right?”

Remember:

You are someone who is still becoming, too.

We are all prone to wander.

And if faithfulness means God doesn’t abandon us when we wander, perhaps gentleness means we don’t abandon one another either.

Because really, it might be us who needs to change.

Fruit of the Spirit Series: Faithfulness

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

And welcome back! I do hope your summer has been going as well as mine has been. Summer is a more low-key time of year for me because I am not in school, and am able to spend more time studying and thinking about things, unlike during the school year. If you are just joining us, I’m glad you’re here and welcome you to this time together. I encourage you to do two things: 1) Feel free to check out the other sermons in this series, and 2) Have a great rest of your day!

Before I begin, I want to share a lyric from a hymn, which I think really ties in well with this topic from today, take a read below:

O to grace how great a debtor
daily I’m constrained to be!
Let that grace now, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here’s my heart; O take and seal it;
seal it for thy courts above.

Here’s a link to it, if you’d prefer to hear it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECW2hqMQSb0&list=RDECW2hqMQSb0&start_radio=1

I’ll be honest with you, most days I have no idea what the other lyrics mean. But this verse is so compelling to me, and when I began to study for this lesson, my mind kept calling me back to this lyric. So today, I’ve approached it from this lyric as sort of the framework for the sermon.

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Faithfulness has different applications and meanings in different contexts, as shown below:

At its core, faithfulness is about relationship. It means showing up, keeping your promises, remaining committed, and being trustworthy even when circumstances change.

When I hear the word, faithfulness, it is often accompanied with a story or a moment where someone was unfaithful. It might be a cheating spouse or a dishonest employee. Or it might be a student who cheated on a test. Or a friend who was not loyal. I am not minimizing the hurt from any of these situations. The damage done in these situations are very real and are often very deep, and it’s hard to come back from that. Situations like these often make me wonder about my faith in people.

And when we talk about faithfulness, we often only talk about God. And for good reason. Consider this: Who is the first person that Scripture describes as faithful?

It’s not us.

God is faithful even when we are not!

“If we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself.” –2 Timothy 2:13

God is described as faithful regardless of our actions. The definition of faithfulness says “keeping promises regardless of circumstances.” And that’s a clear description of one facet of God.

Before faithfulness is something God requires from us, it is something that God demonstrates towards us.

There have been times in my life where I have clearly experienced the faithfulness of God, where God seemed to be right there. You’ve likely experienced those same moments, too. And there have been moments, in the moment, where I have felt abandoned or discarded by the Lord, but looking back, I now clearly see where God was with me, each step of the way. I hope you can see those same moments, too.

Thankfully, God’s faithfulness is not dependent upon our perfect obedience, our certainty, our consistency or our ability to get everything right. Because if it was, God would never be there for you and I, because I can see more times in my life where I was none of those things, and God still showed up.

God keeps showing up because God is faithful, despite my unfaithfulness. Because that is exactly who God is, God is faithful. God will never leave you, God will never forsake you, God will never abandon you. God will see you through the best times of your life, and the worst times of your life. That should comfort you, if you ever wonder or wander. You will likely do both in your lifetime.

Let’s go to Exodus 34.

God introduces himself.

Not Moses. Not Israel.

God tells us who God is.

And among the first characteristics are:

• compassionate
• gracious
• slow to anger
• abounding in steadfast love
• faithful

That isn’t just a description of God.

It’s one of Scripture’s foundational descriptions of God.

“The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” –Exodus 34:6

When I looked at the lexicon for this verse, I noticed that the Hebrew word for faithfulness is emunah, which besides faithfulness, carries the idea of firmness, steadiness and reliability.

So not only is God going to be there, but these words imply that God is the one that can be trusted. Trusted because that is exactly who God is.

But this is incredibly countercultural! In our day and age, we have this understanding that faithfulness is connected to our duty. If we are faithful to something, especially God, there’s this idea that being faithful starts with believing the right things, following the rules and never questioning. In fact, when we start doing the third, it’s like we’re being obstinate or defiant.

But scripture doesn’t see it that way, scripture sees it that God is faithful before our response, and in spite of our response.

Even when we are in the wrong, God is still faithful to us. Even when have been wronged, God is still faithful to us. There is nothing we can do that makes God stop being faithful. God’s faithfulness is not a reward we earn—it is the very nature of who God is.. No requirements, no expectations, no checklist of qualifications. Just faithfulness. For many of us, this is hard for us to accept or believe because it’s not what the rest of the world subscribes to, and sometimes, our anxieties put qualifications on it.

Faithfulness is not duty alone, it is relationship.

It is clear, God is faithful.

We are not.

I cannot count the number of times that God has shown out and shown up for me, when I didn’t deserve it, when I hadn’t earned it. This blog alone is just one testimony. There have been times when I just simply sat down, without studying, and God has poured a message down from heaven in a process that could only be described as divine in nature. There are times when just the right word will come from somewhere, and I know it isn’t me. But not only through this blog, there’s been other ways that God has showed up. And I bet that if you sit with it, you can clearly see times where God has showed up, and you weren’t praying, or you weren’t worshipping, or you weren’t tithing. And God showed up for you.

In the same way that God shows up for us, even in unfaithful circumstances, is the way we are called to be.

The dictionary definition of faithfulness includes, relationship, commitment, duties.

But I realized, as I was pondering this, that there’s a particular order to this.

Faithfulness begins in relationship. You cannot be faithful to something unless you have a relationship with it. A spouse who is faithful is not simply completing a duty, they have a relationship that is the foundation to that faithfulness. A friend who is constant is not simply checking a box when they are loyal to you, it is grounded in the relationship that you have with them. A parent who is committed to their child is not simply fulfilling a responsibility, there is the bedrock of a relationship that motivates and guides that love.

So why do we imagine our relationship with God works differently?

Faithfulness is love that remains.

Faithfulness is love that endures.

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you.” -John 15:4

Jesus doesn’t call you and I to perform for him. We aren’t called to make a celebration of all the people we pull to the alter. We aren’t called to fight the spiritual battles we decide to pick up. We aren’t called to sing the most worship songs. We aren’t called to give the most to the church. We aren’t called to simply attend church.

Jesus calls us to remain in him. To be in relationship with him. That’s it. The other stuff, although it can be good, when it becomes our substitute for our relationship with Jesus, it no longer becomes an act of faithfulness, it just becomes an act. Either way we operate, whether in relationship or acting, Jesus will still show up for us, because he is faithful.

Faithfulness Does not Require Certainity

“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” -Mark 9:24

Okay, so for context on this scripture, and I’ll try to be brief, this father brings his son to Jesus. The son was struck with a spirit that caused the boy to have seizures and fits and all kinds of convulsions. Jesus talks to the father, and gets some further context about the boy, and how long this has been going on. The father responds basically since he was a child, and begs Jesus to help him, if he can. Jesus says “anything is possible, if you believe” and then this man says “I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief.”

What an odd statement at first glance.

I’ve come to understand this statement more and more in the past few years.

This man is possibly one of the most honest people in scripture. He’s honest even still, today. There are times when we believe, but we still doubt. We still question. We still wonder. There are times when we lay in bed at night, where the questions ring in our heads, and they unsettle us before bed. Maybe we try to pray them away. Maybe we just lay there and let them torture us.

If you live any real life, and if you go through anything challenging, you’ll wonder, you will doubt.

This man came, bringing his biggest challenge to his faith, to Jesus. And he honestly states “I believe, but help my unbelief.” In doing so, this man brought both his faith and his doubts. And how does Jesus respond?

Jesus doesn’t turn him away, he doesn’t scowl at him for doubting. He doesn’t shame him for questioning. He doesn’t demand he search scriptures.

Jesus recieves him.

Notice what Jesus didn’t say. He didn’t say, ‘Come back after you’ve resolved your doubts.’He met this father exactly where he was. Wholeheartedly.

If you know the story, you know that Jesus casts the demon out. Of course, there’s more to the story, and I think it’s worthy of pondering over at another time….but the end of the story is that despite the doubts and the questions, the son gets to live a life without that spirit in him.

Because of his dad’s believing unbelieving faith.

Faithfulness never demands we have it all figured out. Faithfulness never demands that we be perfect in our faith and in how we understand it. Faithfulness never mandates that we never question. Faithfulness doesn’t expect us not to struggle.

Sometimes, the most faithful prayer is the honest one. The one that says “I don’t have it all figured out, I don’t know what you’re doing. God, help me keep walking.”

Faithfulness Becomes Our Response to God’s Faithfulness

When God is faithful to us, over and over again, that changes something in us. We in turn, become more faithful to God. We don’t become faithful so God will love us. We become faithful because we’ve discovered we already are loved.

And then, we become people who practice faithfulness towards others. And you never know how simply showing up for others will change others’ lives.

You and I know somebody (or maybe we are that somebody) that hasn’t been faithful to us. They have abandoned us or walked away. Some people never get over a broken relationship. That broken relationship truly changed their life. They’re never the same.

If that is true. Then so can the opposite be true.

What if you and I were people who were faithful to others? What if we didn’t do that to someone? What if our faithfulness to them, was the catalyst to changing their lives? You never know the impact you might have, just by being faithful and continuing to decide to show up.

This looks like us keeping our promises. Showing up as we can. Loving them, even when it’s not convenient or easy. Choosing to be compassionate with them, over judging them. Clarifying before we assume the worst. Staying committed to them in love, even when they don’t deserve it, and sometimes especially when they don’t deserve it.

The fruit of faithfulness is becoming the kind of people who reflect God’s faithfulness.

Who has everyone else given up on?

Who needs someone to stay?

Who needs someone to keep believing in them?

Who needs someone to keep showing up?

When we are that to somebody else, we are becoming the kind of people who reflect God’s faithfulness.

The End of the Song

“here’s my heart Lord, take and seal it
seal it for thy courts above”

The song doesn’t end with “I’ll never wander again.”

Frankly, that’s a lie.

It ends with the phrase “God, keep drawing me back.”

This is the heart of faithfulness, a desire to be faithful. By wanting to be faithful, it becomes something we work on, and eventually, it becomes something we are. As long as we are remaining in our connection and our relationship with the one who made us and who calls us his own, we will eventually lead ourselves into being faithful people.

But, as with everything else in this series.

It takes time.

Fruits of the Spirit Series: Goodness

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law” -Galatians 5:22-23

And welcome back!

Thanks for joining me here as we go through the Fruit of the Spirit series. I’m learning so much through this series, it is challenging and encouraging to me, and I hope it is doing the same for you.

This sermon has hit quite differently. When I was working through the information, and working through it, I thought it would go one way, but the Lord led me another way….as often happened. But it’s all good.

Speaking of good…see what I did there?? Goodness is one of those words we use all the time, but rarely define. We will describe food as good, movies as good, people as good, days as good. But what does that mean? And in a spiritual context, what does the Bible actually mean by “goodness”?

Our culture often defines goodness as simply being nice. But that’s not quite accurate. You and I can be good without being nice sometimes. Sometimes, being a good friend means that you have to say the thing or do the thing that although it hurts your friend, it’s ultimately in their best interest. You might not be interpreted as nice in that situation, but you’re being a good friend. We all have different ideas about what makes someone “good.” Fortunately, God’s definition doesn’t change.

Fortunately for us, and sometimes unfortunately, God’s definition of what is good is unchanging. For me at times, this is super comforting, knowing that the finish line to goodness never changes. But other times, knowing that the finish line to goodness never changes can be quite uncomforting, and in fact, quite challenging. You see, goodness isn’t simply avoiding evil. It’s not that quite black and white. If it were, goodness might be easier to attain. Instead, what I have come to understand is that goodness is actively reflecting the character of God.

Goodness Begins with God

Do good to your servant
    according to your word, Lord.
Teach me knowledge and good judgment,
    for I trust your commands.
 Before I was afflicted I went astray,
    but now I obey your word.
You are good, and what you do is good;
    teach me your decrees.

-Psalm 119:65-68

When we talk about the Lord, we describe him many ways. We call him perfect, and holy and loving. And we also call him “good.” We say “you’re a good good father,” as the song says.

Do you remember what the next line of the song says?

“It’s who you are.”

Goodness is who God is. God doesn’t just do good things. He doesn’t just dole out blessings and favor. It’s not that he makes all good things. He does all of that, because it is who he is. God’s goodness is God’s very nature.

And that’s something that I think we don’t often talk about a lot in church. In fact, I’ve heard far more sermons on how God is holy and demands us to live our lives in a higher way. How God will condemn those who don’t have a relationship with him to a hell that is unthinkable. Maybe you’ve heard those kinds of sermons too.

This is not that kind of sermon, folks.

In fact, when we focus on the hell of it all, we fail to include the fact that God, in God’s very nature, is good. There are tons of stories I know of, and you probably know them too…where God has worked out something for you. Or brought you through something. Or brought you to something. You and I can testify to the fact that God is good, because we are still here, and we are still living in faith.

Every single act of justice, every single act of mercy and every single act of compassion, and every single flood of generosity flows from who God is.

All the good things come from God.

And if goodness begins with God, we can’t manufacture it on our own. Just like love, joy, peace…..we need a relationship to grow and cultivate goodness in our lives.

Goodness is actively reflecting the character of God.

Jesus Challenged Conventional Goodness

When I examine the scriptures in the Bible, especially the stories about Jesus, I find that in Jesus’ stories, the good people in those stories weren’t always the ones society expected. I also find that Jesus surrounded himself with people that his culture didn’t expect him to hang around as a holy person.

Take the Good Samaritan. I hope you know the story. If you don’t, there’s this guy who was on a road and got left for dead. Some people passed by him, but didn’t help him. Religious people crossed the other side so they wouldn’t have to be associated with him. They just left him for dead too. But this Samaritan man passed by, he stopped and picked him up, took him to an inn. He washed his wounds, bandaged them, and paid for the man to have time to recover in this inn. And Jesus asked them who had done the right thing….and they had to admit the Samaritan man, even though the Jewish people at the time thought the Samaritans as unclean or unholy.

In another scene, Jesus is teaching. There is this tax collector who is short, who climbs up a tree, just so he can see Jesus. Jesus noticed him, and calls up to him, and tells him to come down, because Jesus was gonna eat at his house that night. And Zacchaeus came down, and Jesus dined with him that night. And then this changed Zacchaeus, because he began the process of paying back the debts.

These are just two examples, and I bet you can find more stories that demonstrate the fact that Jesus consistently exposed systems where appearing righteous mattered more than loving people.

The religious leaders looked righteous.

The Samaritan acted righteously.

Jesus consistently challenged people who confused appearances with goodness.

Goodness is actively reflecting the character of God.

Goodness is More than Morality

Many believers reduce goodness to a list of do’s and don’ts. Ask anyone who is a Christian, and they’ll tell you a list of things they’re not supposed to do. They’ll say good Christians don’t swear, they don’t watch certain movies, they don’t drink. This list of do’s and don’ts reduce morality to a checklist.

But Jesus was never about any of that.

Jesus talked and lived out his life, saying things about generosity, justice, mercy, compassion and forgiveness.

That tells me that goodness isn’t merely avoiding sin.

Goodness is actively reflecting the character of God.

Goodness Challenges Harm

There was one time where Jesus was brought this lady. According to the Jewish law, if someone who was cheating on their spouse was caught, they were to be brought out to the town square and they were to be stoned. So this lady was brought to him and I guess he’s just hanging out there. The teachers asked them what they should do. Knowing the law, they thought that they would trap Jesus, by Jesus participating in the stoning of her.

(Which, side note, it’s odd that they are challeninging Jesus on a law that they, themselves, know is unjust or unhumane…but maybe that’s a story for another day.)

Anyways, Jesus just kneels down to the ground and begins drawing on the ground. He says to the crowd, “He who has no sin, cast the first stone.” In this incredible moment, the men (in my eye) let go of her, and they have a moment of realization that they too, are guilty of something. After some time, Jesus looks up at her, and stands. He asks her where all the other guys are. She says they left. And Jesus tells her to go, and sin no more. In other words, Jesus invites her into a new way of living, a life that reflects the goodness of God.

If we think of it, Jesus is the only one in that whole crowd that has no sin. He’s literally the only one who is qualified by his statement, to cast the first stone to hurt her.

But he chooses to not.

Jesus exposes the ways people had weaponized God’s law against the very people God loved.

And sometimes, in our own attempt to be good, we need to do the same.

Sometimes, we need to re-orient ourselves and ask ourselves:

• Is this helping people?
• Does this reflect the love of God?
• Is this producing the fruit of the Spirit?

Jesus challenged interpretations of the law that had lost sight of God’s compassion. Over and over again, we see Jesus choosing the side of the people over the law. Why would he do that? Why would he get himself in a place of controversy? Why would he fall on the side of the person over the demands of the law? Doesn’t he know this is political and cultural suicide?

It’s simple: He loved people.

That’s it. That’s the bottom line.

Goodness is actively reflecting the character of God.

Goodness is Humble

There is no one who is humbled more than those who walked with Jesus. Leading up to the last days of his life, when he entered Jerusalem, people were shouting and worshipping that Jesus was with them. Just a few days later, they would renounce Jesus. They would condmen him.

Take the story of Peter. I love Peter. Some people don’t. But I love him dearly, because he’s one thousand percent authentic in his reactions. Peter had walked with Jesus from the beginning. The night of his betrayal, Jesus told Peter he would deny Jesus. Peter refused. You may know the story, and you might not. But eventually, he does deny Jesus. He refuses to admit that he knew Jesus, afraid that they would take him, too. Yet after Peter failed, Jesus restored him instead of rejecting him. Peter learned that his standing with God depended not on his own goodness, but on God’s grace.

Like Peter, we can fall into the trap of thinking that we are one of the good ones. Because when we do that, we stop being on guard against becoming one of the bad ones.

Jesus warned us against adopting that mindset. Instead, he encourages us to remain humble in where we are. Our own goodness will produce humility because we recognize that every good thing in us, comes from God.

Goodness is actively reflecting the character of God.

So how do I be good?

I recognize that I’ve kind of bounced around over and over again throughout this sermon. But you’re maybe sitting there wondering “Okay….so how do I actually become a good person?”

I’ll be honest, I was tempted to present you with a checklist at first. Because it’s easy and we think easily in check lists and boxes.

But then I realized something.

Throughout the Bible, Paul never tells us to go produce fruit.

Go sit with that.

I’ve never walked past an apple tree and heard it straining with all its might to grow apples. I’ve never walked by the grapevine and heard it struggling to produce the grapes. I’ve never been in an orange orchard, and heard the oranges struggle to produce the fruit that bears its name. In short, fruit doesn’t “try.” Fruit is the result of a healthy tree.

The same is true for us.

Goodness isn’t something we manufacture through willpower. We don’t sit there and just strain to become good. Goodness grows naturally in us, as we are connected to the one who created us.

That’s exactly what Jesus said in John 15 when he said:

‘I am the vine; you are the branches… apart from me you can do nothing.’

So, the closer I grow to Jesus, the more I begin to look like Jesus. His compassion becomes my compassion. His joy becomes my joy. His mercy becomes my mercy. His love becomes my love. And His goodness….becomes my goodness. That’s why it’s called the fruit of the Spirit and not the achievement or the struggle of the Spirit. Fruit grows.

Sometimes, it’s slow.

Sometimes, we don’t realize or recognize it.

But over time, our encounter with Jesus changes us, and we become more good, because God is good.

Goodness is actively reflecting the character of God.

Goodness begins

Unlike Jesus, I can’t just simply say to you “Go be good.”

That’s not enough. My words don’t have tthe same holy weight behind them.

Instead, I encourage you to ask questions. And ask questions like:

• Who needs kindness from me this week?
• Who needs forgiveness from me?
• Who have I written off because they’re different from me?
• Where is God inviting me to choose compassion over convenience?
• How can someone experience God’s goodness through me this week?

You see, our world does not need anymore people who claim to be good. Our world doesn’t need more people who claim to be moral.

Our world needs more people who lives lives that make the goodness of God more visible in our world. These are people who forgive. People who serve. People who tell the truth. People who show mercy. People who stand beside the forgotten. People who speak for those who have no voice. People who forgive when revenge would be easier. People who love like Jesus.

Imagine what our communities would look like if every follower of Jesus lived that way.

Imagine neighborhoods marked by compassion instead of suspicion.

Families marked by forgiveness instead of resentment.

Churches known more for mercy than judgment.

That’s the kind of goodness the Holy Spirit wants to grow in us.

And that kind of goodness has the power to change lives.

Goodness is God’s character becoming visible through His people.

Fruit of the Spirit: Choosing Kindness in a Harsh World

Welcome back and happy Summer! I do hope this summer has been wonderful so far. Thanks for being here and for reading these words. I know that there’s a lot of other things you could be reading or posting out there on the internet. But you’re here, and I appreciate that.

As you probably know, we’ve been looking at the Fruits of the Spirit this summer as our summer series. I hope you’ve been enjoying this series as much as I have, and I’ve honestly been really enjoying digging into this series. Let me tell you, the Forbearance post from last week, it’s still digging into me, still working on me. I think this series will be one that I will revisit over the years, just because this is just such good stuff. And I hope you will, as well.

The Fruit of the Spirit we are looking at today is Kindness. And I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure where this one was gonna take me. But it’s kind of a wild journey, so let’s get started.

When was the last time someone showed you unexpected kindness?

Not because they had to, or because they wanted something from you. Not because it benefited them. They were kind because they chose to be kind.

What do you remember about that moment?

I remember a kindness once. It’s not the last time that someone was kind to me. But I remember this kindness, particularly because it was the first time a peer really was kind to me. I believe it was the second grade. This new girl came to my school and was in my class. And as far as popularity goes, this girl was the tip-top. Everyone loved her, she was nice, friendly, sociable, and found fast friends with the popular people. And I, well, I wasn’t that. It actually took a long time before I found where I stood in the eyes of my peers, mostly because it was difficult for me to communicate with them. I had friends, for sure, but they were few. Misty was her name, and one day, our teacher re-assigned seats, and sat Misty beside myself at the front of the room.

Naturally, we worked on an assignment together. She did this part, I did that part, and we worked together, and finished our work well before others did, and Misty and I got to passing notes, like you do in class. She was the first person to ever ask me about my hearing impairment. Most of the other kids didn’t, because in the South, we are raised to not ask questions about disability. Or, they had asked in Kindergarten and they knew it. As we were passing notes back and forth, I remember her writing that the other kids didn’t like sitting with me because I couldn’t hear, and that was why they avoided me. Now, this is not a debbie downer story, okay? Just stick with me. But at the end of that note, she wrote me something that changed things for me, she wrote something about how it was okay I was hearing impaired, because that didn’t mean I wasn’t a cool person.

Now, she probably has no idea that this statement meant a lot to me. Misty moved away a year or two later, but I never forgot those words she shared with me, and how she met me where I was.

When was the last time someone was kind to you for no reason?

What do you remember about that moment?

And why do those moments stay with us?

What Is Kindness?

We use the word kindness all the time.

We tell children to be kind.

We thank people for their kindness.

We compliment people by saying they’re kind.

But biblical kindness is more than simply being nice.

Kindness is love made visible, compassion in action. Kindness is choosing to treat people with dignity, even when we don’t have to. It isn’t weakness. Kindness is freely given, but it often costs us something. It may cost us our pride, our time, our comfort, our convenience, or even our desire to be right.

The Kindness of God

“But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared…” — Titus 3:4

Before Scripture calls us to be kind, Scripture shows us a kind God.

The story of faith is not merely the story of a powerful God. It is the story of a compassionate God.

Again and again God meets people in their weakness. God feeds hungry people. God forgives wandering people. God comforts grieving people. God welcomes unlikely people.

The kindness of God reaches its fullest expression in Christ. Jesus does not merely teach kindness. Jesus embodies it. Jesus is kind when people show them him worst sides. Jesus is kind even when the people don’t deserve it.

And the same is applied to us. God is kinder to us than we have earned. God is kinder to us, even when we show him the worst side of us. God is kind to us even when we come to Him a mess. God shows kindness to us, even when we are just going to mess it up all over again.

Jesus and the Ministry of Seeing People

“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” -Matthew 9:36

One of the things I notice about Jesus is that he sees people others overlook: The woman at the well, Zacchaeus, Blind Bartimaeus, Lepers, Children, Poor people, the forgotten.

Everyone else saw these people as undeserving. They saw them as interruptions to their holy lives. They saw them as less than.

But Jesus saw them as people. And when they are seen by Jesus, it changed their lives.

Kindness begins by seeing people the way Jesus sees them—not as problems to solve, but as people to love. We cannot love people that we refuse to see. When we truly see people, it changes them. Sometimes, it changes us too.

Why Kindness Is So Difficult

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” -Ephesians 4:32

But let’s be honest with ourselves for a minute. Yes, we know we should be kind. We know it’s a good thing that a person should do. We know it’s the right thing for a person to do. But are we kind?

The truth is, kindness doesn’t come naturally all the time. If you’re honest with yourself, sometimes you get tired. Sometimes you get frustrated. Sometimes you wonder if you can trust another person. Sometimes we get busy and our focus gets shifted. Sometimes we’re hurting too bad to see someone else in their struggle. Sometimes we just choose not to, because we think they are undeserving, or even worse, we think that our kindness doesn’t make an impact.

In short, we allow life to get in the way of being kind to other people.

And slowly we stop seeing people as human beings and start seeing them as obstacles.

Kindness requires us to resist that temptation.

For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

-Titus 3:3-5

Before Paul tells us to be kind, he reminds us who we once were. We weren’t rescued because we deserved it. We were rescued because God was kind.

And more than that, Kindness is difficult also, because we forget that sometimes, we too, require others’ kindness. We require others to take the time to be kind, to put aside their hurt, their tired, their frustration. We require them to cast aside their judgements and their temptations, to provide us with kindness. We forget that we too, are in need of kindness, which makes it easier for us to withhold kindness from other people.

Kindness Is Countercultural

Our culture teaches us to evaluate people by what they know, what they achieve, what they own, or whether they’re on our side.

Jesus evaluates people differently.

Kindness asks one simple question:

“How can I love this person?”

Now kindness doesn’t mean we sit around a fire holding hands with enemies always, and ignore all the issues, and choose to sing Kumbyah with everyone and live in this fantasy land. It doesn’t mean that we avoid hard truths. It means that we follow the way of Jesus, and speak of the hard truths, while leading with compassion.

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal… If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge… but do not have love, I am nothing.” –1 Corinthians 13:1-3

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Small Acts, Big Impact

“And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.” -Matthew 10:42

Being kind isn’t always a grand gesture. It isn’t always putting out the red carpet or a big thing that draws people’s attention to your kindness.

Being countercultural doesn’t necessarily mean big.

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…” -Zechariah 4:10

Many of the most meaningful acts of kindness are surprisingly ordinary. A conversation. A note. A phone call. A smile. An encouraging word. A meal. Being patient. Being a listening ear. Sometimes, it’s just being present in a difficult moment.

You have no idea how your small kindness, the kindness that doesn’t make headlines…you have no idea how this small kindness could change the trajectory of someone’s life. You have a ministry opportunity here, anytime that you can choose kindness.

But it does mean that you sometimes have to be intentional.

You have to slow down enough to notice others. Notice when they need that kind word. Or that note. Or your empathy instead of your assumption. Or your compassion instead of your anger. Or your presence instead of isolation. We have to remember to give ourselves and each other more grace, because the Lord has first given us grace, and that is the example we follow.

And we have also received kindness. People who recognize the kindness they have received often become people who offer that same kindness to others.

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A Challenge

Misty probably doesn’t remember writing that note. She probably doesn’t remember where we sat. She doesn’t remember our conversation. She may not even remember me. But I do. Twenty something odd years later, I remember our conversation. I remember how it made me feel. Twenty something odd years later, I’m still telling the story of how that one kindness changed something in me.

That’s what kindness does. It outlives the moment.

Who in your life needs kindness right now?

Who is lonely?

Who is discouraged?

Who feels unseen?

Who needs grace?

And here’s the harder question:

Who is difficult for you to be kind to?

Because kindness isn’t really tested when it’s easy.

It is tested when kindness costs us something.

The kindness of God reached us when we least deserved it.

What would change if we offered that same kindness to someone else?

Because kindness is love made visible.
And the world could always use a little more of that.

Somewhere, years from now, someone may still be telling the story of a kindness you don’t even remember giving. Be somebody’s Misty today.

Fruit of the Spirit Series: Forebearance

Welcome back! If you are just joining us, this summer we are focusing on the Fruits of the Spirit. Feel free to catch up. If you’re returning, well then, welcome back. I hope you’ve enjoyed this series as much as I have and have learned as much as I have.

Today, I want to open with a question, and it’s a question that is relevant and applicable to almost anyone in any walk of life. It doesn’t matter if you’re male, female, or not. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship or single. It doesn’t matter if you’re employed or not. Immediately, when I ask this question, you’re gonna be like “Oh yeah,” and you’ll be transported back to that moment when it happened. I guarantee it’s happened to everyone at least once in your life. That question is this:

When was the last time that someone got on your nerves?

If I were actually giving this sermon right in front of you, a lot of you would probably chuckle and I am too, as I’m writing it. I would say in that situation to not answer it out loud, because that person might be sitting next to you. And we’d laugh again.

But back to the reality of our situation, maybe it was someone at work, a family member, or maybe it was someone online. Maybe it was even somebody sitting in church.

The reality of your life and my life is that living life with people can be difficult at times.

And if we are honest, you and I can be difficult to get along with as well.

The question isn’t whether or not we will encounter frustrating people. The question is this: What do we do when we do?

The fruit of the Spirit we have come to today isn’t one we actually talk about very often. Love is inspiring, joy is uplifting, and peace sounds comforting. But forebearance?

Forebearance sounds like something your grandparents said, an old word that’s out of date that we don’t even use anymore.

However, even if the word sounds out of date, scripture treats it as one of the essential marks of spiritual maturity. Forebearance is about what we do with the gap between who people are and who they are becoming. And in that gap is where people tend to get on our nerves. And if you’re more honest with yourself, every single person lives in that gap.

What is it?

So let’s break it down. What is forbearance? It’s another one of those church words we don’t use very often. We talk about love. We talk about joy. We talk about spiritual growth and maturity. We talk about peace. We talk about kindness, but we don’t actually talk about forbearance. If I’m honest with you, until this study, I didn’t actually understand all that forbearance is.

At the heart of forbearance is making room and space for one another’s imperfections and mistakes.

The God who Bears With Us

Before we dig into how we need to bear with each other, we are reminded of a simple truth about God. And to be honest, we could write a whole sermon on this. But I’m not going to today.

God bears with us.

“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish… –2 Peter 3:9

The story of scripture is not primarily the story of how we are faithful to God and how God uses us to fulfill his purpose in this world. No, the story is how God has divine patience with us, patience we sometimes don’t deserve. How God has that patience with us, even when we fall short. Again and again, we are people who fail God, who choose fear over trust, who are selfish over being compassionate, who choose violence over peace. Over and over again, the story repeats itself.

But somehow, someway, God refuses to abandon creation.

The Bible, in many ways, is a testimony to the forbearance of God. And in many ways, the story of my life and your life is a testimony to the forbearance of God. God continuously chooses a relationship with us over rejection. He continues to offer redemption over disposal. He continues to choose grace over abandonment.

If God did not practice forbearance, none of us would stand a chance.

An Unfinished Creation

We are God’s creation, and as such, we are told throughout our time growing up that we should become more like God or like Jesus. And we talk about being kind to people. But forbearance? Not so much.

At its heart, forbearance is about realizing that people are unfinished, much like creation is unfinished. And one of the greatest insights of modern theology is that God’s work is not merely something that happened, it is something that is happening. Creation isn’t finished. Redemption isn’t finished. In fact, I know of no human being who isn’t a work in progress.

The one who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. -Phillippians 1:6

Notice the language. Began. God began something in us. Not finished. You and I are works in progress.

But often, we treat people as if we think that they are complete.

God doesn’t see us that way. God sees the bigger picture. God sees possibility. Transformation. A future not yet realized.

But we, we like to assume that people are finished creations. While at the same time, holding ourselves to be works in progress. We can’t have it this way.

Why We Struggle with It

At the heart of it, forbearance is love. And love is often the harder choice. Love is often the more difficult way.

But we struggle with it, because holding judgment over someone is easier. It’s easier to label someone, dismiss them, write someone off. It’s easier to reduce a person to a single mistake, opinion, or a single failure.

God never does that with us.

The gospel continuously reveals a God who refuses to let people be defined by their worst chapter. Peter is more than his denial. Thomas is more than his doubt. Paul is more than his violence.

And you are more than your failure.

And so is your neighbor.

“Bear with one another in love.” — Ephesians 4:2

Bearing with one another in love, means giving your person the ability to make a mistake, and holding them to be more than that failure. But this is hard work.

But it’s holy work.

The Ministry of Making Space

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” –Colossians 3:12-13

One way to understand forbearance is this: Forbearance is the ministry of making space. Making space for growth, mistakes, questions, and healing, among others.

It means making space for people who are not where we wish they were. It doesn’t mean we ignore them; it doesn’t mean our boundaries disappear. It doesn’t mean justice doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean we are just a doormat. But it does mean that we resist the temptation to close the door on people before God is finished with them.

And this is super hard, because relationships are complicated.

People see the world differently, they vote differently, they worship differently, they raise their children differently, and they interpret scripture differently. People sometimes carry wounds we know nothing about. In a world that constantly seems to encourage us to divide ourselves into teams and into a “us vs them” mentality, forbearance becomes incredibly important.

Our culture often asks “who is wrong?” or “who’s the enemy?” ‘

Forbearance asks, “How can we remain in a relationship?”

How do you and I stay in a relationship with each other, even though you said this hurtful thing, or you made this choice? How do you and I stay in a relationship when you rubbed up against something that triggered a response that I didn’t even know I had?

Forbearance. By remembering that people aren’t finished yet.

But what we need to realize is that sometimes, you require just as much space as anyone else. Sometimes, someone has had to make space for you when you didn’t even know you required that space. Sometimes, people have held space for you, without you realizing they had to.

Jesus’ Ministry of Making Space

Nowhere in scripture is this seen more than in the life of Jesus. If you look at Jesus’ life and ministry, you will dig in and realize that Jesus, knowing all, had to hold space for the people he loved and who surrounded him, because he knew that they were works in progress. He knew that they one day would be all that God would have them to be, but that they were in progress and were not there just yet.

Jesus constantly encountered people whom society had already judged. He hung out with tax collectors, sinners, the sick, the outcast, the forgotten. He hung out with the poor. The religious establishment often asked, “Why does he spend time with people like that?” But Jesus seemed to ask a different question with his life: “How can I make space for them?” Over and over, Christ saw beyond who they were then in that moment and saw the possibility of who they could become.

The beautiful thing is that he does the same for me and for you. He sees us not only for who we are, but for who grace is still shaping us to become. He sees a message out of a mess. He sees who we are and sees our purpose.

In short, God makes space for you and me.

And if we are called to be like God, we are called to a ministry of making space for each other and ourselves.

Practicing Makes Perfect

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” –Ephesians 4:2-3

Let me be clear: this isn’t easy. There are times when you are frustrated with other people. There are times when people hurt you, both intentionally and unintentionally. There are times when they rub up against you just the wrong way.

And when that happens, we have a choice. We can choose to walk away immediately, or we can choose to do the harder work of remaining in a relationship where it is healthy and possible. But it’s up to us. If we choose the way of God, choose the way of forbearance, then we say “we aren’t the same” without saying “therefore you have no value.” And in a polarized world, that kind of grace is desperately needed. It’s countercultural, to be honest. This kind of radical approach to a disagreement, well, it will change things.

But to forbear with other people, it takes a different kind of commitment to stay with that person and continue walking with that person, even though they’ve rubbed up against you, or even though they’ve said this thing against you. Or even though they do this or that.

This is exactly what we are called to do, and the church should be really good at this. The church should be one of the few places where people can gather. It doesn’t matter what generation you come from, what background you have, or income you don’t have….regardless of the things that like to divide us, the church is supposed to be a place to reflect the incredible diversity found in the Lord. People from all walks of life should be inside those holy walls.

But in order to have that diversity, you have to be willing to bear quite a lot. Someone is going to disappoint you. Someone is going to say the wrong thing. Someone is going to annoy you.

And at some point, you’ll do that to someone else, too. So get prepared.

So how do we cultivate it? How do we practice forbearance? How do we do the work?

By remembering that people are not yet finished.

Sometimes, it looks like listening before we respond. Sometimes it means not responding at all. Even though you really, really want to!

Sometimes, it’s assuming the best of intentions, even though it doesn’t feel like it.

Sometimes, it means extending a second or two-hundredth chance to someone who really just doesn’t get it.

Sometimes it means choosing curiosity over condemnation, and asking questions before you just write off someone else.

Sometimes, it means that we remind ourselves that every person that we meet is carrying a struggle that they may not tell others about, and you might not know about.

Sometimes, it’s having patience when that person has cut you off five times in the same day.

In short, it is having your compassion for one another be stronger than how much they irritate you.

A Closing Challenge

Like I’ve been doing lately, I want to leave you today with a question:

Who in your life requires forbearance right now?

Who is frustrating you right now?

Who is disappointing you right now?

Who is testing your patience right now?

And here’s the other one:

What might change if you saw that person the way that God sees them?

Not as if they are a finished product. Not as if they are a problem to solve. But as if they are a human being, that is still growing.

Just like you.

Just like me.

People are not finished yet.

The bottom line is that we require a lot of patience. Both from the Lord and from other people. I think we also need to give a lot of patience as well.

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Fruit of the Spirit Series: Peace

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace….” -Galatians 5:22-23

Welcome back!

If you’re just joining us, please check out the other entries from the Fruit of the Spirit summer series. I’m really enjoying this challenging series, and I hope you are as well.

I have honestly been looking forward to this part of the series, because I was really interested in digging into what peace means, and what it doesn’t mean.

You and I live in a world that is desperate for peace. Just desperate. We long for it, we want it. We want peace in our homes, our marriages, our finances, in our minds and in our hearts. Despite all of the technologies we have access to, comforts we have, and conveniences, it seems like anxiety and worry seem to be everywhere. During the pandemic, anxiety and depression surged dramatically. Many of us thought that once life returned to normal, peace would return too.

But did it?

Are we more peaceful now?

For many of us, the answer is no.

Why?

Because peace is not primarily the absence of problems.
Peace is the presence of God.

The peace that Paul is describing in Galatians, like all the other Fruits of the Spirit we’ve looked at so far, it is not something that we manufacture within us. It is spiritual fruit produced by the Holy Spirit in the life of the believer.

Which, just like all the other spiritual fruits, means that we don’t grow peaceful by trying harder to be peaceful, we grow peaceful in walking hand in hand with our creator.

Peace Begins with God

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ -Romans 5:1

Before we can experience the peace of God, we must first have peace with God. Our greatest problem isn’t the fact that we are stressed. It’s not our anxieties. It’s not our politics or finances.

Our greatest problem is the consequence of separation from God because of sin. The good news is that through Jesus’ death and resurrection, the barrier between God and humanity has been removed. When we place our faith in Christ, we are no longer separated from God, we become adopted as his children.

Which if we think about it, it sounds weird, I know. And certainly confusing. And we can get into that sometime.

But the foundation of our peace is knowing that we are at peace with God, because of the relationship we have with God.

For me, I need a reminder of that, and often, because there are times when the anxieties creep in, and the second-guessing starts, and the trying to prove myself wants to start. And that’s just not what it’s about. Our peace is about what God has done in us.

Peace is Not the Absence of Conflict

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. -John 16:33

One of the most common misconceptions about following Jesus is that faith will eliminate our problems.

I’m sorry to tell you, that this is a lie. Jesus never promised to fix all your problems for you. In fact, Jesus said the opposite. He guarantees that we will have conflict and problems. In fact, whether you are a believer or not, I can make that guarantee, yours and my life will have problems.

Congratulations!

But notice that Jesus did not only say that we were going to have problems. He also said for us to take heart, or have peace, in the middle of the problems.

Which tells me, that Biblical peace is not dependent upon my circumstances. We like to think that if our problems would just go away, we would be at peace. But it’s not like that. Jesus says that we can have peace, in the middle of the problems that remain in our lives.

Peace Comes Through Trust

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. -Isaiah 26:3

How?

How is it possible that we can have peace in the middle of the problems that remain in our lives? How can we have peace in the middle of the greatest test or trial we have ever faced?

From this scripture, I learned that peace and trust are connected.

The more I trust God, the more peace I experience. The less peace I experience, the more I am tempted to carry burdens God never intended me to carry alone. Worry is my sign that I am trying to carry what God should carry, and it is a reminder for me to give it up. Worry often reveals the places where I need to trust God more deeply. My peace will grow when I remember that God is sovereign, when God is good, God is faithful and God is working even when I cannot see it.

God is working even when I cannot see it. In every circumstance, in every scenario, in every trial, God is present, working behind the scenes, and is working out things….and all our calling is to trust him..

For we know that all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. -Romans 8:28

If this is true, then ALL things, God is working for, for our good.

How to Arrive at Peace in the Middle of the Storm

Okay, so how do you do that? How do you arrive at peace? How do you become peaceful?

Maybe you already know the answer. Maybe you know it because you’ve been there.

There have been times when I have been completely at my wits end. Worries and doubts plague my mind. My heart is disturbed and I just don’t quite know what to do.

Paul gives us the recipie for more peace. Here it is

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.-Phillippians 4:6-7

Paul says that in every situation, by what? Prayer.

Prayer is what gives us the peace of God. It’s not about informing God about our problems and how we feel, it’s the process of transferring our burdens to God.

But you and I don’t like to do this! We know what we are supposed to do. But we just don’t do it!

If we bring our worries to God, He meets us there. Sometimes He changes the situation. Sometimes He changes us. But He promises His peace will guard our hearts and minds.

How do I know? Because I can tell you multiple scenarios where the Lord did just that….took away my worries and concerns because I brought those worries to Him.

When We Have Peace, We Bring Peace To Others

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. -Matthew 5:9

When we bring our cares and concerns to the Lord, and the Lord uses the Holy Spirit to bring peace to our troubled hearts, and we do that again and again, it begins to affect those around us. We shift the atmosphere with our peace. We don’t bring additional conflict into the chaos, we bring the calm. We aren’t yelling and screaming to get our points across, we speak the truth with grace. We aren’t driving people away from each other, we are seeking to reconcile relationships. We aren’t buying into rhetoric that seeks to divide us further, instead we are stubbornly refusing to fuel the divisions, and seeking instead, to offer peace in a troubled time. When I enjoy peace, it infuriates some, and they seek to destroy it further….but often, we become part of a spread of peace. In a culture that profits from outrage, peacemaking becomes a radical act of discipleship.

The church at large, should be one of the most peaceful places in the community because we are exactly the kind of people who have experienced the peace of the Lord. Unfortunately, in many religious spaces today, it’s not quite about bringing peace to the chaotic world, or being a beacon of peace. Matter of fact, if you were to search the headlines, you would see more about division and disagreement than you would see about peace and understanding.

The Peace that Holds

The world’s peace is rather fragile. It depends on circumstances, health, finances, politics, relationships, victory….you name it, and it probably depends on that.

God’s peace is different.

It remains when the diagnosis comes.

It remains when the job is lost.

It remains when the future feels uncertain.

It remains when the relationships are torn.

God’s peace is not found in circumstances, it is found in the presence of the Lord. And when it is found, we can’t help but to spread that around.

So here’s our question for this week:

Where am I looking for peace?

Fruit of the Spirit Series: Joy

This summer, we are focusing on the Fruits of the Spirit, and I hope you are getting as much out of this series as I am, because even though this scripture is familiar, doesn’t mean that it isn’t full of topics that are good reminders and good challenges as we walk in our journey.

Today, we turn our attention to joy. I want to pose a question: When you hear the word joy, what comes to mind? Think on that for a moment, if you will.

For many of us, joy gets confused with happiness. When I am at my most happy, I think of good birthdays, or vacations, when I am at a game and my favorite team wins. Sometimes, it’s a good meal. You and I associate joy with moments when everything is A-OK.

But what about when life doesn’t go right?

What happens when the news isn’t what you hoped? When the relationship ends? When the bills pile up? When the job interview doesn’t give you the results you wanted? When grief settles in?

Is there no joy then? If there is no joy, then there is no hope. If there is no hope, and we are completely without hope then that means we have nothing to hope in.

If joy is completely dependent upon our circumstances, then most of us will spend a huge portion of our lives without joy at all.

To understand joy biblically, you understand that joy is something entirely different. Joy isn’t the absence of pain. It’s not pretending everything’s fine. It’s not a positive attitude that is forced.

Joy is this deep confidence that God is present, even in the difficult moments. It’s the assurance that darkness and death does not get the final word. It’s the stubborn refusal to let suffering define the entire story.

Where the world tells us joy comes from getting what we want, God tells us that joy comes from knowing whose we are. It’s not just something that happens to us, it is the product of God growing within us. And when you have it, even if it’s just a speck of it, you can’t do without it.

Joy Begins with God’s Presence

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.” — Nehemiah 8:10

“In your presence there is fullness of joy.” — Psalm 16:11

One of the biggest misconceptions new Christians, and sometimes those of us who have been a believer for awhile…one of those biggest misconceptions is that we like to believe that following Jesus somehow exempts us from hardship. That we are blessed and highly favored, and therefore, we won’t experience anything hard.

Let me tell you something, what I have learned is that while knowing Jesus doesn’t exempt us from going through hard things, going through the hard things is so much easier, because Jesus is walking through it with us. Jesus never promised a life free from sufferings or hard times. He never said our hearts wouldn’t be broken. He never promised everything was going to work out for us. We were never promised to be spoiled from everything going right in our lives.

What did he promise? He promised there would never be a world where we would have to go through it all alone.

And when you’re going through it….the presence of God in the middle of that hardship is sometimes the very thing that allows you to make it through. The toughest things I’ve faced, I’ve gotten through it because God is with me in it. If you look to the scriptures, you’ll see that the Apostle Paul wrote some of his most joyful words while he was being imprisoned. You’ll also see that the early church sang hymns while facing persecution. People in scripture and even today, still experience joy in the middle of situations that most of us would describe as completely unbearable. When my heart is hurting the most, why does the worship seem most sweet?

How is this possible?

Because joy is attached to something bigger than present circumstances. Your joy, my joy is attached to the fact that when everything around you is unstable, our God remains faithful. Life changes. People change, situations change, and God does not.

And when we seek the Lord in the direst of circumstances, we realize that God’s presence is enough, even when the answers are still on the way.

It’s hard to understand until you’ve walked through one of those seasons yourself.. Until you’ve been through a moment where your perspective had to shift from what you’re going to, to the presence of God, you don’t get it.

Joy and Happiness are Not the Same Thing

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.” — Philippians 4:4

There was this TikTok trend, where there were two people that stood in front of the camera, and they mouthed words to a song, and the point of the video is that the two people were different people, even though people often thought that they were the same person.

Joy and happiness could make the same video. Because they’re not the same. They’re different. But we confuse joy and happiness.

Happiness isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually quite wonderful. I like being happy. I am my happiest at my house, during the summer, when I’m able to rest and relax and prepare for a new school year. But like my summer, happiness comes and goes based on our circumstances.

You see, joy runs deeper that happiness. Happiness says, “everything is going alright.” But Joy says “God is still good.” Happiness says, “well that sucks, so I’m sad.” Joy says “God is still good.” Happiness depends on what is happening in your life. While joy is dependent upon what God is doing within me. There are days where you’re happy and you’re walking on sunshine, but there are also days when life is very difficult, it’s exhausting and you end up frustrated and at your wits’ end.

As a teacher, I’ve had days where the lesson plan goes according to plan. Students are engaged and excited. The lesson works. Everyone gets along. My floor is clean!!!! And then I’ve had days where nothing goes according to plan.

The difference is that joy is not determined by whether or not my day is successful. Joy is determined by whether or not I remember that God is still present in the middle of it.

In the middle of grief, God is there.

In the middle of cancer, God is there.

In the middle of a broken heart, God is there.

Joy is the ability to hold all of the ways that life tries to steal the joy in one hand, and the hope God gives in another.

Joy Makes Room for Both Laughter and Tears

“Weeping may linger for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” — Psalm 30:5

The best thing about joy is not that it is ignorant of what you’re going through. Joy isn’t a head-in-the-sand process of ignoring the sufferings of your life. Joy isn’t just living in the clouds. Joy stares in the pupils of your heartaches, and looks into the deepest crevices of depression.

Sometimes, Christians accidentally send the message that those who are faithful should always be smiling and happy. They should sit around laughing all the time. They shouldn’t complain or share their struggles.

Scripture never teaches that. Jesus wept. Prophets lamented. The Psalmists cried out in anguish. There’s a time to mourn. Faithful people throughout the Bible experienced heartbreak, disappointment, confusion, grief and the rest of the whole spectrum of human emotion. Joy doesn’t tell us we need to ignore those sad moments. Joy allows us to experience them and acknowledge them honestly, while still trusting God. The same Jesus who wept at Lazarus’ tomb also endured the cross for the joy set before him. Joy and sorrow have always lived together in the life of Christ.

There are times when joy feels easy. And there are times when joy just feels rather impossible. In those times, joy often looks less like celebration and more like endurance. Sometimes joy is simply getting out of the bed and believing God will carry you through another day. Sometimes joy is singing.

Both count.

Joy reminds us that whatever we are facing right now, our current circumstances are not the end of the story. The heartbreak we are experiencing now is not the end result. The questions we face now and the uncertainty we face now are not game over.

Joy and sorrow meet in the very place that we find the strength of the divine to carry us through to another day, another week or sometimes, even another moment. The next moment.

Joy is Catching

“A cheerful heart is good medicine.” — Proverbs 17:22

Have you ever been around someone, and it doesn’t matter what mood you start with them, but by the end, your demeanor has changed? Or, when you’ve been in a room, and a certain person just changes the atmosphere of the room, but by walking in? It’s not because they’re loud, or they demand your attention. It’s because there’s just something about them, that is rather unspeakably attractive. I’m not talking about physical attraction, here.

It’s that they carry this joy with them, and you just want to be around them, hoping their joy rubs off on you. Their joy becomes a gift to everyone around them, and they change things, just by walking into the room. If they can change the vibe of a room with their joy….the opposite is true too. Yours and my negativity can enter a room, and it changes the dynamics of that room too. Negativity, fear, cynicism….all of those emotions can spread. I’m sure you’ve encountered someone who does nothing but to complain or point out the negative, and when you leave from them, you can’t help but notice how down you are.

Both negativity and joy spread.

What do you want to spread when you’re with people? What do you want to be remembered as? When we choose gratitude instead of constant complaining, we spread joy. When we celebrate someone else’s success instead of becoming jealous, we spread joy. When we encourage someone else, we spread joy. When we remind people that they are loved, and just how much value they bring to the world by existing in it, we spread joy.

Joy is not just something that we experience because God is with us, regardless of the circumstance. It also becomes something that we share with others. When we spread joy, we help others to remember that goodness still exists in a world gone to pot, as they say.

Joy Requires Perspective

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds.” — James 1:2

Here’s the thing, it’s not always going to be easy to spread joy. Sometimes, it’s a choice to see joy in our circumstances. But for this writer of James, to say “consider it joy when you’re going through hard things”….that sounds a little much, right? In fact, if we are being honest, none of us leaps for joy when we’re going through something difficult. When our work is stressful, or when the doctor’s visit is worrisome, or when there’s a conflict…none of us are exactly celebrating, are we? I’m hoping I’m not alone here.

James continues:

Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance

James isn’t saying we should be waking up each day, excited to suffer more….he isn’t telling us to enjoy the pain. What he’s saying is that we need to recognize that God can use the painful seasons to shape us. Some of the strongest, wisest and most compassionate people that I know did not become that way during the easy times. They became who they are today, through those hard times. I can look back at times in my life, where it was really hard to just be a human and go through my days, because the grief was paralyzing or the anxiety was overwhelming. But now, looking back, I can see that while what I went through was really hard, it became something that God used to bring me joy through my changing perspective. When we can only see the present moment, suffering feels pointless. It feels hopeless. But if you and I can trudge through the hard times, and trust that God is still working through this situation, through this difficult season, joy becomes possible.

But our perspective has to change. We have to look at what we’re going through, through a lens that is colored with trust in God. And that sometimes doesn’t come easy.

“Give thanks in all circumstances.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Joy is a fruit of the Spirit. That means, the cultivation of Joy is ultimately God’s work within us and in our lives. And like all fruit, it grows through practice. It’s not easy. It’s actually really hard when you first start practicing this. So how do you start? How do you start having joy in all circumstances? How do you start shifting your perspective?

One of the simplest ways to start cultivating that joy, and that shifting perspective, is through gratitude. Not because gratitude magically solves our problems or removes it. Not because gratitude makes it immediately easier to bear. But because gratitude trains our hearts to recognize and notice God’s faithfulness in the middle of our hardest times.

The coolest part about gratitude in these situations, is that it isn’t static. While at first, your gratitude may be really small, it may be that the only thing you’re grateful for is a short conversation. Or a sunrise. Or the perfect song at the perfect time. Or a friend reaching out. Or a meal that was provided. Or it might simply be a moment of peace, so that you can recharge. But what I’ve noticed is that once I begin to be thankful….my list of things I’m thankful for grows.

The practice of gratitude helps you and I to remember that God’s goodness is still present, even when life is hard. The question never has been if there are problems in our lives, there are. Some of us are dealing with unimaginably hard things. The question is whether or not we can still recognize the grace in the middle of them.

And if we can, that’s where we find joy. That’s where we eventually realize the purpose behind the hard. And once we know the purpose, somehow, it seems to get easier. And when it gets easier to deal with, and we find joy in the middle of the worst of places, then we can make it. Then, we have hope.

Joy Points Us to Hope

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing.” — Romans 15:13

When our joy is connected to the divine, it becomes connected to hope. It’s actually pretty deeply connected to hope. When we root our joy in the divine, we believe that God is still working. We believe that broken things can be healed. We believe that redemption is possible. We believe that darkness doesn’t win. We believe that we can make it through. And we look forward to the day when God makes all things new.

This doesn’t mean that you and I ignore the pain of the present. It just means that we refuse to believe that this pain has the final word, and that we live in the confidence that God’s story in this is bigger than our current chapter. And this current chapter, is just that, a chapter.

A Challenge

I want to close with a question, just like I did last week. Just like last week, it’s a simple question. But it is powerful. Here it is:

What, or who, is my joy in?

Just like last week, it’s simple. But it has the power to change the way we live.

Where am I looking for joy?

What or who, is my joy in?

Am I looking for joy in circumstances? In achievements? In possessions? In other people? In approval?

Or am I finding joy in the presence of God?

Because circumstances will change.

People will disappoint us.

Success will come and go.

But the joy that comes from God remains.

And that kind of joy can carry us through anything.

What, or who, is my joy in?