Favorite Verses….Fresh Take: 1 John 4:8-12 Take 2

(Author’s note: Yes, I know that I just did a sermon on this exact set of verses, but the Lord wasn’t done with me on this yet. Hopefully you get something new out of this second take on this scripture. )

Who is a Christian? Let’s really give this question some thought. How do you know that someone is a true believer?

For generations, Christians and believers have debated on what makes you a Christian.

Is it baptism?

Is it a confession of faith?

Is it accepting a particular set of doctrines?

Is it attending church?

Is it a particular, specific understanding of salvation?

Is it wearing a cross around our necks?

Is it voting a certain way?

Different traditions answer these questions differently

We have become very good at this debate, actually. We have our statements of faith, our denominations, our traditions. We have rules, what people ought to believe, how they ought to worship, what they ought to say, and what they shouldn’t say. We have this entire culture behind what makes someone a Christian, and we have even clearer defintions to describe what makes someone not one. We have added so many expectations to Christianity that we sometimes overlook the very thing that John insists must characterize those who know God.

John has given us a rather uncomfortable way for us to measure whether someone actually knows God.

He doesn’t begin with what you believe. Or any of the other qualifiers that we have created to identify ourselves as Christians. Matter of fact, he mentions nothing about any of those things.

John begins with how you love.

And suddenly, the question isn’t whether these other people know God.

The question is whether those other people can see anything of God in me.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear Friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

-1 John 4:8-12

You cannot claim to know a God of love while refusing to love.

We have made Christianity about what we believe, and we consider it vitally important that every believer aligns with the “church” completely and fully. In churches, we focus on memorization of the Bible, we focus on making sure that people align politically and support this candidate or that candidate. We make sure that everyone knows the right doctrines, and we make sure that everyone believes the same thing. We encourage people to study their Bibles daily, and we teach disciplines for pretty much everything.

Please don’t hear me say that any of these things are necessarily bad.

They’re not.

Unless they become a substitute for living out your faith.

Just because we know scriptures, attend church or believe the right stuff doesn’t mean that we know God.

John challenges us to examine how we behave, with our faith.

According to Jesus in John’s gospel, chapter 15, the way that we love is how that the world will know us as a disciple of Jesus. But, if you pay attention, if we don’t love our own neighbor, it’s the same thing as if we don’t know God at all.

That’s pretty stark and sobering, ifyou ask me.

Scripture says that if I don’t love, then it’s like God isn’t in my life at all, and as if my relationship with god hasn’t made a difference in who I am at all. And it’s almost as if the way I treat and love others and the relationship I have with God are connected.

They are.

And if they are connected, each impacts the other. The more I love God, the more I love people. The more I love people, the more I love God. It all goes hand in hand, you cannot do one without the other.

And when you do-you’re not very good at either one.

We sometimes treat our relationship with God as something private, personal, individual. While our relationships with others are something entirely different.

John doesn’t allow that separation.

John doesn’t say that the people who don’t love simply just need to work harder at being Christians….he says they don’t know God, period.

So you can sing the hymns. You can read the Bible. You can attend Church. You can memorize statements of faith. You can do all those things, and yet not know God, if you don’t love other people.

The command is crystal clear, we have to love other people.

Last week, we asked ourselves, what does love require of me?

This week, we are asking ourselves, how do I love others to reflect God?

Jesus didn’t come to convince God to love us, Jesus came because God already loved us.

When we begin to identify ourselves as a Christian, the culture of Christianity tells us that we have to have a “salvation experience.” There’s a moment that we were told that we were made aware of our “sinfulness” and we made a decision to alter the course of our path and become a Christian. And we were told, that if we didn’t make the decision that day, if we died that night, we would spend eternity in hell.

For some of us, this was a highly emotionally charged response to a highly orchestrated experience.

At least, that was my experience in evangelical Christianity.

Once we made that decision, we were told to pray a prayer, and we were saved, and now God loves us.

But here’s the thing, Christianity presented us as being so terrible, so sinful and evil, that Jesus came, as though to persuade an angry God to love us.

John presents God’s love as the reason Jesus was sent, not something Jesus had to persuade God to begin feeling.

God loved us first. God sent Jesus because of that love that God had for us.

But everything that we do in persuing the people that don’t know God, and many of the ways that the church carries itself out into the world, lies in direct opposition to that.

God’s love was never supposed to be about being the reward for salvation. God’s love doesn’t stop loving us because we make a rejection of that salvation call. God’s love doesn’t start when we accept that salvation call. God’s love is constant and consistent, never changing and has no beginning and end.

God’s love isn’t a reward, God’s love is what initiated this whole thing.

But the ways that we ask people to come into a relationship with God is not anchored in this understanding of God’s love….it’s anchored in a man-created idea that God is angry, or already disapproves and we have to earn God’s love and favor.

The ways that we speak about God and see others speak about God are hardly ever coming from a place of love and compassion…but rather, we see people online defending God or defending what true Christians believe. As if God needs us to defend Him!

We were commanded to love people, not to make them like us.

We have sometimes confused loving people with controlling, correcting, or changing them. John doesn’t tell us to love people once they agree with us, believe like us or behave like us.

We are called to love because God first loved us. Full stop.

When someone is different, when they believe different, or when they live differently, there should not be a “terms and conditions” to us loving them.

While John says that God is love, John doesn’t simply reverse the statement and say that everything we identify as love must therefore be God.

Why does that matter?

Because human beings have called all sorts of things love.

Control.

Possessiveness.

Manipulation.

Coercion.

Violence.

People have justified terrible behavior by insisting they were acting out of love. And religious communities are not immune.

A parent may say, “I’m doing this because I love you.”

A church may say, “We’re excluding you because we love you.”

A religious leader may say, “You need to submit because we love you.”

But calling something love doesn’t automatically make it loving.

John gives us Jesus as the model by which our claims about love should be evaluated.

So perhaps the question isn’t merely, “Am I acting out of love?”

Perhaps the question is:

Does my understanding of love look anything like the self-giving love demonstrated by Jesus?

You and I cannot allow the ways we disagree with others or are different from others prevent us from loving them. We can’t justify our personal opinions as a reason we don’t love each other.

When we choose to love each other when we disagree, this is when we love each other best. Because that’s what love requires of us.

It doesn’t matter our circumstances. It doesn’t matter how they treat us. It doesn’t matter what we want to do instead. It doesn’t matter what they deserve. We are directed to love.

We are called to love even when it is difficult. But loving someone doesn’t mean allowing them to harm us. Sometimes love requires boundaries. Sometimes love requires accountability. And sometimes love means refusing to participate in the very behavior that is hurting someone.

You and I are not held accountable for how people act towards us, but we are accountable for how we act to or respond to them. And when our response is less than love, we miss it.

Even when the situation is difficult.

Even when we are met with hate.

Even when and even if they don’t deserve our love.

Even then, especially then.

Because, like it or not, when you identify yourself as a Christian or a Christ-follower, people are watching you. They are watching to see if what you say you believe matches up with how you live your life.

But that doesn’t mean love never challenges wrongdoing. There is a way for you to do that, and still keep it centered around loving another person. Love cannot be reduced to demaning conformity.

We keep asking God to show up, but what if God is asking us to show love?

I have heard it often in services that I’ve been there, where people have prayed, “God, please show up today, please make your presence known, move in us.” You’ve probably heard similar words too.

Sometimes God does show up, and it is an incredible time for us to feel the presence of God. Sometimes, it’s an emotionally manipulated moment created so that we can “feel” the presence of God.

God’s presence isn’t demonstrated only through these extraordinary spiritual experiences.

God’s love becomes visible through ordinary people doing extraordinary things for each other.

John says that nobody has seen God, but when we love one another, God lives in us and God’s love is made complete in us.

Verse 12 says that “his love is made complete in us.”

The Greek verb translated “made complete” is related to teleioō, meaning to bring something to completion or its intended goal.

John isn’t saying that God becomes more loving because of us.

He’s describing God’s love reaching its intended expression in the lives of people who love one another.

We search for God in worship services, miracles, emotional experiences, and religious traditions, but we overlook the ways that God’s love is being expressed around us, and the ways that God’s love is calling us to love.

I’ve been in churches and spaces that have asked for God to revive our nation, that have asked for God to send a mighty move of the spirit to our churches. I’ve been in places where we have begged for a touch of God.

I believe that this prayer hasn’t been answered yet….because we are so focused on the wrong thing.

We are asking God to move….but God already has.

Perhaps God is waiting on us to move.

Perhaps God is waiting on us to love others.

God’s love isn’t something that we’re supposed to simply receive and hold onto. God’s love is meant to move through us. And when that love reaches another person, it is accomplishing what it was intended to do.

Maybe the greatest evidence of God’s presence isn’t how loudly or passionately we worship on Sunday, but how deeply we love on Monday.

So…Who is a Christian?

And perhaps that’s what we’ve been missing all along.

We have spent so much time asking God to show up that we’ve forgotten that God has already shown us what His presence looks like.

It looks like love.

Not just the love that we sing about.

Not just the love that we preach about.

Not just the love that we claim to have for God.

But the love that we actually demonstrate to one another.

And here’s the thing.

We cannot keep asking God to move in our churches while refusing to move toward the people who need us.

We cannot keep asking God to heal our communities while contributing to the division within them.

We cannot keep asking God to show His love to the world while withholding that same love from people we don’t like, people we don’t understand, or people who don’t believe the same things we do.

We can’t keep praying for God to do something that God has already commanded us to do.

Love one another.

It’s really that simple.

But it’s not always that easy, is it?

Because loving people means sometimes putting aside our pride. It means listening when we’d rather argue. It means showing compassion when we’d rather pass judgment. It means extending grace when we’d rather hold a grudge.

And sometimes, it means loving someone who will never love us back.

That’s the kind of love that Jesus demonstrated.

That’s the kind of love that God showed us before we ever thought about loving God.

And that’s the kind of love that John says should be evident in our lives.

So, let’s go back to the question that we started with.

Who is a Christian?

We’ve spent generations trying to answer that question by looking at what people believe, where they worship, what they say, and how they identify themselves.

And I’m not saying that those things don’t matter.

But perhaps we’ve been asking the wrong question.

Perhaps instead of asking whether someone else is a Christian, we ought to be asking whether our own lives look anything like Christ.

Because here’s what I find so fascinating about this passage.

John says that no one has ever seen God.

No one.

But then he tells us that when we love one another, God lives in us, and His love is made complete in us.

Think about that for a moment.

There are people in this world who may never walk through the doors of a church.

They may never open a Bible.

They may never hear a sermon.

And some of them may have been hurt so deeply by people who claimed to represent God that they want absolutely nothing to do with Christianity.

But they will encounter us.

They will see how we treat them.

They will hear how we speak about others.

They will watch how we respond when someone disagrees with us.

And through those encounters, they may begin to form an understanding of who God is.

And that ought to make every single one of us stop and think.

If the only thing someone ever knew about God was what they saw in me, what kind of God would they believe in?

Would they see a God who is angry, judgmental, and quick to condemn?

Would they see a God whose love comes with terms and conditions?

Would they see a God who only loves people who look, think, and believe a certain way?

Or would they see a God who is compassionate?

A God who is gracious?

A God who loves first?

A God whose love doesn’t have to be earned?

Because that’s the God John is telling us about.

And that’s the God we are called to reflect.

Maybe the world doesn’t need another argument about who is a Christian and who isn’t.

Maybe the world doesn’t need another debate about who is right and who is wrong.

Maybe the world doesn’t need us to spend another moment defending a God who is perfectly capable of defending Himself.

Maybe the world just needs us to love like the God we claim to know.

Favorite Verses….Fresh Take

There’s a disturbing trend that I see in our culture recently.

I see rhetoric that creates this us versus them mentality. Neighbor against neighbor. Friend against friend. Brother against brother.

I see people online arguing about things and calling each other stupid (or worse!) simply because they disagree. In fact, sometimes I wonder if people even bother to read what the other person has written before they start typing their response.

But that’s just online, right?

I wish.

I’ve watched this same behavior in public, too.

I’ve seen grown adults standing in the aisle of a grocery store, arguing about something that apparently the entire store needs to hear about. I’ve watched parents tear each other apart, just because they can.

And the more I watch, the more I wonder if we’ve become so obsessed with winning the argument that we’ve forgotten how to listen to each other.

We want to win.

Above all else.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Winning is nice. I’ll admit it.

There’s something thrilling about watching your team win a really competitive game. There’s something intoxicating about watching the underdog rise up, or seeing a game won in the nick of time. Playing the winning hand. Celebrating a victory that was hard-fought and well-earned.

I get it. Competition can be a thrill.

But here’s where I think we get ourselves into trouble.

Somewhere along the way, we started treating people like opponents instead of people.

And when that happens, winning becomes more important than understanding. Being right becomes more important than being kind. Getting the last word becomes more important than the person we’re speaking to.

And sometimes, in our desperate attempt to win, we say things that are just plain awful.

We tear people down. We insult their intelligence. We question their character. We say things that we would never want someone to say to us.

And for what?

So we can say we won?

I’m a sucker for a good comeback or a witty retort as much as the next person. But not at the expense of someone else.

Because here’s the thing I’ve been thinking about lately:

What if winning the argument means losing an opportunity to love someone?

What if, in our determination to be right, we’re missing the opportunity to be the kind of people God has called us to be?

And that brings me to a question.

If our arguments and disagreements can bring out the worst in us, what brings out the best?

When are we the best humans that we can be?

So if competition and arguments bring out the worst in us, what brings out the best in us? When do we show the best of humanity? When can we share the best that we have to offer?

It makes you think, doesn’t it?

Maybe you can think of moments when someone has been just the best human to you. Or you can remember a moment when you were a really good human being to someone else.

I remember moments of kindness during those days. For me, it was when a very close friend died. You know, I had experienced death before, but those weren’t people my age. It hits different when they’re your age for some reason. But I remember those days, because they were particularly hard. They were difficult because I had my questions and doubts, and my heart was hurting. But I also remember the incredible kindness I experienced during this time.

I remember when someone’s kind word just hit different. When a hug seemed to warm me in a way nothing else could. When friends just sat with me while I felt all of those feelings, and somehow, the time seemed a little sweeter.

I remember people giving when I had absolutely nothing to give in return.

And as I think back on those days, and those friends, I am filled with gratitude. Because I know that God put those people in my life to help me make it through.

Without those people, I honestly don’t know how I would have made it to where I am today.

But here’s something that strikes me as I think about those moments.

Not one of those people had to do what they did.

They didn’t have to sit with me. They didn’t have to listen. They didn’t have to check on me, or hug me, or make room for my grief.

They could have gone on with their lives.

And nobody would have blamed them.

But they didn’t.

They chose to love me, even when loving me required something of them.

Their time. Their energy. Their patience. Their compassion.

And sometimes, just their presence.

They weren’t trying to win anything. They weren’t trying to prove anything. They weren’t expecting anything in return.

They just loved me.

And looking back, I think that’s when I saw some of the very best of humanity.

Not when somebody won.

But when somebody gave.

Not when somebody proved they were right.

But when somebody chose to be present.

And that makes me wonder something.

What if the best of who we are isn’t revealed by what we accomplish for ourselves, but by what we’re willing to give of ourselves for somebody else?

Because when I think about those friends, I realize something.

Love required something of them.

And they gave it anyway.

So now, I have to ask myself a question.

When it’s my turn to love somebody else, when it’s inconvenient, uncomfortable, or downright difficult…

What does love require of me?

When we are our best, love requires something of us. It’s not always easy, and sometimes it is very hard. But love requires something of us. We might have to alter the way we approach a problem or a person, or how we respond, when we move in love. When we focus on ourselves and keep ourselves front and center in our minds, we can’t always love the other like love requires us to do. Sometimes we have to approach and respond to situations in a way that is completely counter-cultural to everything that we see and experience in our world today.

So let’s get started.

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

-1 John 4:8-12

We cannot love God and hate our neighbor.

In fact, the way that we love each other is the way we are recognized as disciples of Jesus.

Jesus said that himself.

But if you pay attention to what John is saying here, he takes it even further.

He says that if we don’t love, then we don’t know God.

That’s pretty stark and sobering, if you ask me.

Think about that for a minute.

Scripture says that if I don’t love, then it’s almost as if God isn’t in my life at all. It’s as if my relationship with God hasn’t made a difference in the way I live my life.

And as I think about that thought, I realize something.

The way I treat and love other people and the relationship I have with God aren’t two separate things.

They’re connected.

And if they’re connected, then each one impacts the other.

The more I love God, the more his love should be reflected in the way I treat people. And as I learn to love people the way Jesus taught us to love, I grow in my understanding of God’s love.

It all goes hand in hand.

You can’t claim to love God while refusing to love the people he created.

But here’s something else that really strikes me about this passage.

John doesn’t just tell us that we’re supposed to love one another.

He tells us why.

Because God loved us first.

Look again at verse 10:

“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”

Did you catch that?

Not that we loved God.

But that God loved us.

First.

Before we ever did anything to deserve it. Before we ever got our lives together. Before we ever figured out how to live the way God wanted us to live.

God loved us.

And here’s the thing that I think we sometimes forget.

God didn’t wait for us to become lovable before he decided to love us.

He didn’t wait until we got everything right. He didn’t wait until we stopped making mistakes. He didn’t wait until we became the kind of people who deserved his love.

In fact, Scripture tells us that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

While we were still sinners.

Not after we apologized. Not after we changed our ways. Not after we promised to do better.

While we were still sinners.

And I don’t know about you, but that makes me think a little differently about the way I’m supposed to love other people.

Because if God didn’t wait for me to deserve his love, why do I sometimes insist that other people deserve mine?

Ouch.

That’s a tough question, isn’t it?

Because I think sometimes we treat love like it’s something people have to earn.

I’ll be kind to you if you’re kind to me.

I’ll respect you if you respect me.

I’ll forgive you if you apologize first.

I’ll love you as long as you make it easy for me to love you.

And when somebody doesn’t hold up their end of that bargain, well, then I feel justified in withholding my love.

After all, they don’t deserve it, right?

But here’s the problem with that kind of thinking.

If God loved me the way I sometimes love other people, where would I be?

Seriously.

What if God only showed me compassion when I deserved it? What if God only forgave me when I got everything right? What if God decided that I had made one too many mistakes, that I had pushed one too many buttons, that I had simply become too difficult to love?

Where would I be?

I can tell you where I wouldn’t be.

I wouldn’t be standing here talking about the love of God.

Because the love of God isn’t something I earned.

It’s something I received.

And if I’ve received that kind of love, how can I turn around and refuse to extend love to somebody else?

Now, I know there are sometimes those people, right?

I bet somebody just popped into your head.

It might be a family member, a coworker, somebody at your gym, somebody at church.

But everybody has one of those people, right?

It’s the person who really challenges you in this whole loving thing.

Here’s the thing. I see nowhere in Scripture that says you have to like everybody.

But we are commanded to love everybody.

And liking somebody and loving somebody can sometimes be two very different things.

Liking somebody is often about how I feel toward them.

Loving somebody is about how I choose to treat them.

I can disagree with someone and still love them.

I can be frustrated with someone and still love them.

I can recognize that someone has treated me poorly and still choose not to treat them poorly in return.

And loving someone doesn’t mean agreeing with everything they say. It doesn’t mean excusing everything they do. And it certainly doesn’t mean allowing someone to continually hurt you.

You can love someone and establish boundaries.

You can love someone and tell them they’re wrong.

You can love someone and walk away from a situation that is harmful.

Because love doesn’t require us to abandon wisdom, truth, or our own well-being.

But love does require us to remember that the person standing across from us is still a person.

A person created in the image of God.

Even when they’re difficult.

Even when they’re wrong.

Even when they’re making it incredibly hard for us to love them.

And maybe that’s when this question becomes the most important.

Not when loving somebody is easy.

But when it isn’t.

What does love require of me?

Jesus as Sacrifice Is Our Model for How to Love Others

We call ourselves Christ-followers.

We look to the teachings of Christ. We like the miracles and the healings. We pay attention to what Jesus said.

But there’s a quote that’s been in the back of my mind that I think is really relevant here.

I heard it several years ago, and I really believe that it’s true.

“Your life may be the only Bible someone ever reads.”

And while that definitely applies to the way you and I live our lives every single day, because you never know who is watching you to see if you actually follow Jesus in the way you treat other people, I want us to think about that quote a little differently.

What if we applied that quote to the way Jesus lived his life?

What if the life of Jesus was the only Bible you ever read?

What would you learn about love?

You’d see a man who loved greatly. Who had seemingly infinite amounts of compassion. Who stayed faithful. Who followed God. Who was obedient. Who prayed.

You’d see a man who reached out to people everybody else rejected.

Who showed compassion to people society had forgotten.

Who loved people who couldn’t offer him anything in return.

And then you’d see something else.

You’d see a man who was betrayed and abandoned by his closest friends in his greatest hour of need.

A man who was accused of crimes he didn’t commit.

A man the crowd rejected in favor of a criminal.

A man who endured beatings and public ridicule.

A man who carried a cross through the very streets where he had been welcomed only a week before.

And ultimately, you’d see a man who died on that cross.

For people who didn’t deserve it.

For people who had rejected him.

For people who had turned their backs on him.

For people like you and me.

And here’s what gets me about that.

Jesus knew what loving us would cost him.

And he loved us anyway.

He didn’t wait for us to become worthy of his sacrifice.

He didn’t wait for us to get everything right.

He loved first.

Because for Jesus, that’s what love required of him.

And if Jesus is our example, if we’re really going to call ourselves Christ-followers, then we have to ask ourselves something.

What does love require of me?

Now, what love requires of you probably isn’t going to be dying on a cross. In fact, I can almost promise you that it won’t.

But what love requires of you might mean choosing to respond in love to somebody who is angry.

Or staying silent when you really, really want to cuss somebody out.

Or doing something kind for somebody who has done absolutely nothing to deserve your kindness.

Or swallowing your pride and apologizing first.

Or forgiving somebody, even when you’re still working through the hurt.

Or choosing to love first, even though your initial desire may be anything but that.

Because sometimes, love requires us to do the exact opposite of what comes naturally.

And here’s something I think we need to remember.

God’s love for me wasn’t a response to how good I was. It was a reflection of who God is.

God is love.

That’s what John tells us.

And if I claim to know this God, if I claim that his Spirit lives in me, if I claim to be someone who follows Jesus, then shouldn’t the way I love other people reflect something about who God is, too?

Even when they’re difficult.

Even when they’re wrong.

Even when they don’t deserve it.

Especially then.

Because that’s exactly the kind of love God has shown me.

And maybe that’s what makes Christian love so different from what we see in the world around us.

The world tells us to give people what they deserve.

Jesus shows us what it looks like to give people love even when they don’t deserve it.

The world tells us to get even.

Jesus tells us to forgive.

The world tells us to look out for ourselves first.

Jesus shows us what it means to sacrifice for somebody else.

And the world tells us that love is something people have to earn.

But Jesus?

Jesus loved first.

And then he told us to love one another.

So when I find myself standing across from somebody who has hurt me, somebody who has angered me, somebody who has made it really, really difficult for me to show them love, I have to remember something.

I was never required to earn God’s love before he gave it to me.

And maybe the person standing across from me shouldn’t have to earn my love, either.

Because love isn’t always about what the other person deserves. Sometimes it’s about reflecting the God who loved us when we didn’t deserve it.

And in that moment, that’s what love requires of me.

We Are Commanded to Love Each Other

More than just loving people outside the church, love is also supposed to dictate the way that we treat other believers as well.

Even when we disagree.

Especially then.

In John 13:34–35, Jesus tells his disciples:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Now, I want you to pay attention to something here.

Jesus didn’t say that people would know we are his disciples because of how much Scripture we have memorized.

He didn’t say people would know we follow him because of how often we go to church, or how many Bible studies we attend, or how loudly we sing on Sunday morning.

And he certainly didn’t say that people would know we are his disciples because we win every argument.

He said they would know us by our love for one another.

Our love.

That’s supposed to be the thing that sets us apart.

And I don’t know about you, but I find that pretty challenging.

Because when I look at the way Christians sometimes treat one another, I have to wonder if we’ve forgotten what Jesus said.

We argue about theology. We disagree about how churches should operate. We have different opinions about worship, leadership, traditions, and all sorts of other things.

And listen, I’m not saying that those things aren’t important.

They are.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t have convictions, or that we shouldn’t stand up for what we believe is right.

We absolutely should.

But here’s what I want to know.

When did disagreeing with somebody become permission to disrespect them?

When did being right become more important than being loving?

When did defending our beliefs become an excuse to tear down somebody else?

Because somewhere along the way, I think we’ve confused standing firm in our convictions with having to win every argument.

And those are not the same thing.

You can stand firm in what you believe without tearing somebody else down.

You can speak the truth without being cruel.

You can disagree with somebody without questioning their intelligence, their character, or even their relationship with God.

And you can have a completely different understanding of something in Scripture and still recognize that the person sitting across from you is your brother or sister in Christ.

Now, that doesn’t mean that every belief is equally correct. It doesn’t mean that truth doesn’t matter. And it certainly doesn’t mean that we should ignore harmful behavior or pretend that serious disagreements don’t exist.

But being right about something doesn’t give us permission to be wrong in the way we treat somebody.

Let that sink in for a minute.

Because I think sometimes we become so convinced that we’re defending God that we forget we’re supposed to be reflecting him, too.

And if God is love, as John tells us, shouldn’t love be evident in the way we defend what we believe?

I wonder what would happen if, before we responded to somebody we disagreed with, we asked ourselves a question.

Not, “How can I prove this person wrong?”

Not, “What’s the perfect comeback?”

Not, “How can I make sure everybody knows that I’m right?”

But instead…

“What does love require of me?”

Maybe love requires me to listen before I respond.

Maybe it requires me to ask a question instead of making an accusation.

Maybe it requires me to admit that I don’t have all the answers.

And maybe, just maybe, it requires me to admit that I was wrong.

Ouch.

That last one can be hard, can’t it?

Because sometimes our pride gets so wrapped up in what we believe that admitting we’re wrong feels like losing.

And remember what we talked about earlier?

We really, really like to win.

But here’s the thing.

What if the goal was never supposed to be winning the argument? What if the goal was supposed to be loving the person?

Think about what that would change.

Think about what our conversations would sound like.

Think about what our relationships would look like.

Think about what our churches would look like.

Because the truth is, people are watching us.

Whether we like it or not.

When we identify ourselves as Christians, when we tell people that we follow Jesus, people pay attention to the way we live.

They notice how we treat the people we like.

But they also notice how we treat the people we don’t.

They notice how we respond when things are going our way.

But they also notice how we respond when we’re angry, frustrated, or disappointed.

And they notice how we treat each other.

Especially when we disagree.

And that brings me back to something Jesus said.

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

I wonder what people would say if they watched the way we treated one another.

Would they see love?

Would they see patience? Compassion? Grace?

Would they see people who can disagree without destroying their relationships?

Or would they see people who are just as angry, just as divided, and just as determined to win as everybody else?

That’s a pretty uncomfortable question, isn’t it?

Because if love is supposed to be the thing that identifies us as followers of Jesus, then what happens when love is the very thing that’s missing?

What are we showing the world about the God we claim to follow?

And here’s something else I think we need to understand.

We cannot control how other people treat us.

We cannot control what they say, what they believe, or how they choose to respond.

But we can take responsibility for how we respond to them.

And when our response is less than love, we’ve missed the mark.

Even when the other person is being difficult.

Even when the disagreement is serious.

Even when we are absolutely convinced that we’re right.

Because Jesus didn’t command us to love one another only when we agree.

He didn’t command us to love one another only when it’s convenient.

And he didn’t command us to love one another only when the other person deserves it.

He said to love one another as he has loved us.

And we’ve already talked about what that love looked like.

It was patient.

It was compassionate.

It was sacrificial.

It was willing to give, even when giving was costly.

And if that’s the love we’ve received, shouldn’t that be the love we’re willing to give?

Because here’s what I keep coming back to.

We cannot claim to represent a God of love while treating one another with hate.

We just can’t.

And when we choose to love each other, even in our disagreements, we’re doing more than simply being nice.

We’re showing the world something about Jesus.

We’re demonstrating that the love of God has actually made a difference in our lives.

And maybe, just maybe, somebody who has never experienced that kind of love will see it in us.

Somebody who has been hurt by the church.

Somebody who has walked away from faith.

Somebody who wonders whether this whole following-Jesus thing actually makes any difference in the way people live.

Maybe they’ll see something different.

Not because we won an argument.

Not because we proved how much we know.

But because we chose to love.

And in that moment, that’s what love required of us.

We Reveal God to the World When We Love Others

There’s a very familiar prayer that we say from time to time.

The Lord’s Prayer.

Jesus taught us this prayer, and I was always taught to use it as a model for how we should pray.

Now, I’m not going to spend time analyzing the entire prayer here, although I really encourage you to dig into it sometime.

But there’s one part I want us to think about.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

On earth.

As it is in heaven.

When I think about heaven, I think about the promises God has made to us.

No more pain. No more sorrow. No more death. No more suffering.

No more hate.

Think about that for a moment.

No more hate.

And then I think about the world we’re living in right now.

A world where people tear each other apart over disagreements. Where relationships are destroyed over arguments. Where people seem more interested in being right than being kind.

A world that sometimes seems to have forgotten how to love.

And yet, Jesus taught us to pray for God’s kingdom to come, and for God’s will to be done here on earth, just as it is in heaven.

And I wonder if we’ve sometimes missed what that means for the way we live our lives.

Because what if bringing a little bit of heaven to earth isn’t always some great, spectacular thing?

What if sometimes it’s as simple as choosing kindness when somebody has been cruel?

What if it’s forgiving someone who has hurt you?

What if it’s sitting beside somebody who is grieving, when you don’t have the words to make anything better?

What if it’s swallowing your pride and being the first person to apologize?

What if it’s choosing not to get the last word?

What if it’s loving somebody when everything inside of you wants to do anything but that?

Because when we choose love in a world that seems determined to hate, we are showing the world something about the God we claim to follow.

We’re giving people a glimpse of what God’s kingdom looks like.

A little bit of heaven, right here on earth.

And maybe, just maybe, somebody will experience the love of God because of the way you chose to love them.

Think about that.

Somebody might come to know something about God because of the way you treat them.

Or they might walk away from God because of it.

That’s a pretty significant responsibility, isn’t it?

And that’s why I think we have to keep coming back to this one question.

What does love require of me?

Not what do I feel like doing?

Not what does this person deserve?

Not how can I win this argument?

Not how can I get even?

But what does love require of me?

Because love will require something of us.

Sometimes it’ll require our time.

Sometimes our patience.

Sometimes our pride.

Sometimes our comfort.

And sometimes it’ll require us to respond in a way that goes against everything our culture tells us to do.

It won’t always be easy.

In fact, sometimes it’ll be really, really hard.

But then again, nobody ever said following Jesus would be easy.

And when I think about Jesus, when I think about the cross, when I think about what love required of him…

I can’t help but wonder what the world would look like if we spent a little less time trying to win, and a little more time trying to love.

Maybe our arguments would look different.

Maybe our relationships would look different.

Maybe our churches would look different.

Maybe we would look different.

And maybe the world would see a little more of Jesus in us.

So the next time somebody makes you angry, the next time you’re in an argument, the next time somebody hurts you, the next time you have an opportunity to respond…

Before you say anything.

Before you do anything.

Ask yourself one question.

What does love require of me?

And then have the courage to do it.

Favorite Verses….Fresh Takes: Interruption of God

What do you call God?

We use words to describe God.

We call God our healer, our provider, our strong tower. We call God our savior. We call God our Rock and our firm foundation.

Songs are written and we get all turned up when we call God these wonderful names, don’t we?

We stomp our feet and clap our hands, raise them high, some people dance.

Yes! Let’s get to it.

Jehovah Jireh

God my provider.

Jehovah Jireh.

God my strong tower.

Jehovah Jireh

God my….interrupter?

Woah there.

We don’t sing that too much, do we?

Here’s the thing, we can proclaim that God is provider, strong tower, and that he makes a way where there is no way.

But sometimes, God is the interrupter. Sometimes, God makes the path seemingly crooked. Sometimes we gotta go through the thorns.

And our response when the thorns or the storm comes….reveals everything about us and our faith. Difficulties do nothing if not to reveal who we really are and who our faith is in. Because sometimes what seems like an interruption is really God moving in our lives and pushing us towards something else that is better for us.

And our response when the thorns or the storm comes….can reveal a lot about us and our faith.

Now, that doesn’t mean we won’t question. It doesn’t mean we won’t cry. It doesn’t mean we won’t get angry or frustrated.

Because sometimes faith looks like asking God why.

Sometimes faith looks like crying out to God when nothing makes sense.

But the question is, when the plan falls apart, do we stop trusting God simply because things didn’t happen the way we expected?

But we like to stomp and holler, and be like children who don’t get a candy bar in the grocery store, when God interrupts our plans.

And I’ll be honest, I do this sometimes too.

But our response is revealing. And when I become like that kid who doesn’t get a candy bar, because my parent says no, just because it looks like God is saying no….that really reveals a lot of who I have my trust in.

Because if my response is to throw a fit because I perceive that I’m off the plan….then really, I am showing I have more trust in what I perceive is the plan….than the one who is doing the planning.

Sometimes, we don’t realize that we’ve put more faith in the plan than we have in the God who made the plan.

We trust God, as long as God keeps doing what we thought God was going to do.

But what happens when God doesn’t?

What happens when the plan changes?

What happens when the door closes?

What happens when the path that we were so sure God wanted us to walk….suddenly disappears?

Do we still trust God then?

If my response is to bellyache and moan because I’m going off the path I thought was the path….then I am relying on what I think God wants for me, rather than what I really want.

Now, let me be clear about something.

I don’t believe that every terrible thing that happens to us is something God deliberately sent our way.

Sometimes life is just hard. Sometimes people hurt us. Sometimes things happen that make absolutely no sense.

But here’s what I believe.

Even in those moments, God has not stopped working.

Even when the interruption wasn’t something God caused, it doesn’t mean God can’t work through it.

And that, to me, is the promise of Romans 8:28.

Now, before we get into this verse, I think we need to understand something.

Paul wasn’t writing about a life where everything was going perfectly.

In fact, earlier in Romans 8, Paul talks about suffering. He talks about creation groaning. He talks about people waiting and hoping for something they cannot yet see.

He even says that sometimes we don’t know what to pray.

Have you ever been there?

Have you ever been so overwhelmed by what was happening in your life that you didn’t even know what words to say to God?

That’s the kind of world Paul is writing about when he says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good…”

Not a perfect world.

Not a painless world.

A world where people are hurting, questioning, waiting, and hoping.

And right there, in the middle of all that, Paul reminds us that God is still working.

So what does scripture say?

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” -Romans 8:28

I memorized this verse a long time ago, when I was in youth group. And over time, that promise has become more and more precious to me.

“And we know….” This signals that you have been through something, a time where faith was all you. Knowing something to this magnitude comes after you’ve been through a place where you went through it. Whatever it was. When you say this, you’ve been to a place where you didn’t know if everything worked out for the best. A place of doubt and uncertainity. A place of questions. A place where your heart was broken. Sometimes it’s a place of grief.

“And we know that in all things….” All things. All things. All means all. In the good things, it’s easy for us to say “yes, this was working for my good.” But when God interrupts? Can we say “All things” then, too? Some of my life’s greatest interruptions….ended up being the moments where my faith grew the most, or when I shed something that I needed to shed. And in the end, like the verse says, All things, worked for my good.

“God works….” This means that God is working. God is orchestrating things. God is planning things. Our job is to understand that the plan we have for our lives and the path we want our lives to take…..will not happen unless God has orchestrated that path. Our plan and our desire for our life is second to the desire that God has for us. And the thing that I have learned is that when God interrupts my plan, what happens in the end….ends up being better than I ever imagined.

“God works for the good…” What is the ultimate good? How can the most awful thing that you ever imagine, end up being for your good? How can the greatest heartache we ever suffered, end up making things awesome in the end? I have no idea. But I can tell you that this is nothing short of a miracle sometimes. I can tell you, and you can probably tell me, when God has shifted the plan….and it ended up being the best thing that ever happened to you. The problem is that we sometimes interpret “good” as meaning that everything eventually turns out the way we want. But that’s not necessarily Paul’s argument. In Romans 8:29, immediately after the verse you’re discussing, Paul talks about being conformed to the image of God’s Son. In other words, the good God is working toward includes our transformation into people who reflect Christ. And that’s not always the same thing as getting a better job, finding a better relationship, or having our circumstances improve. Sometimes the circumstances don’t improve. Sometimes the person doesn’t recover. Sometimes the relationship isn’t restored. And yet, God’s presence and work are not necessarily absent.

“of those who love him” God works for the good of those who love him. That love that we have for God includes our trust in God. Even when we can’t see the way out. Even when we can’t see the plan. We trust and we love. When the storm has come, and the branches fall….we trust and we love. When we bury someone we love, we trust and we love God. When we are awake at night and we can’t sleep because we’re so worried and anxious…we trust and we love. In the middle of all of those moments….we trust and we love. Because when we trust and we love….then we submit.

“who have been called” We all have a calling on our lives. God would not call our names, unless God has a plan for us. God would not walk through, and sometimes drag us through things, unless there is a plan. God would not move in our lives, interrupt our plans, unless there is a plan. That calling is one of the most beautiful things, one of the most precious reminders I have in my life….the fact that God has called me by name. The fact that God has told me that God has a plan for my life. That identification brings me back to the basics, when I doubt, when I question, when I wonder….that plan sustains me. That plan reminds me to activate my faith so that I can trust in the plan. Trust when I don’t even see where the path is leading. Trust when I question. Trust when God’s plan interrupts my own.

“according to his purpose.” God’s plan has a purpose. The interruption has a purpose. The detour has a point and a reason. You don’t suffer needlessly. You don’t hurt for no reason. Your tears don’t fall aimlessly. Your heart doesn’t break for no reason. There is some kind of purpose there, in the waiting, in the searching. God’s plan has a purpose. And even when I cannot understand the interruption, I believe God can still work in the middle of it. That doesn’t mean every tear has an explanation. That doesn’t mean every broken heart will eventually understand why it had to break. Sometimes we never get those answers. But I believe that even when I cannot find a reason for the suffering, I can still find God in the suffering.

And sometimes, that has to be enough.

How do I know? Because I’ve lived it.

I’ve been in places where I thought I had it all figured out. I have been a person who thought I knew the plan and the plan was point A, point B and point C. And then God, interrupted. And suddenly, I was on point x, heading to point B. I’ve been there. I’ve felt the pain. I’ve known the doubts and the questions. I’ve even asked them too. I’ve prayed the prayers of the broken. I’ve wandered through the valley of rejection. I have nursed a broken heart.

How do I know? Because I’ve seen other people live it, too.

I don’t know where you are in your life today. I don’t know what you’re going through. But I do know this, I know that you one day, will encounter an interruption. You will one day feel like you’re wandering aimlessly through a way that looks like there’s no path ahead. You will one day wonder if there is a point. You will one day question every single thing you know about the Lord. For some of us, it may be today. You may be right there. You may feel like I’m writing about you and your life.

It’s not an accident you stumbled across these words. It’s not.

But I’m here to tell you, if this is you today, I can only give you four words.

Keep going. Keep going forward. Don’t let this interruption stop you or keep you.

Trust. Trust when it doesn’t seem like it’s possible. Trust when you have your questions. Trust when you don’t know where you’re going. Trust when you don’t have anything left to push on.

Repeat. And then go back to Keep going, and trust. Keep going, trust. Keep going, trust. I don’t know when the interruption ends. But I do know this. I know that eventually, when the interruption becomes less of an interruption to you, and your heart changes, you will see the purpose in it. And who knows? It might be better than you ever imagined.

Keep going. Trust.

Keep going. Trust.

I don’t know when the interruption ends.

I don’t know when the road gets easier.

And I don’t know if you’ll ever understand why things happened the way they did.

But I do believe that God is still working.

Even when you can’t see it.

Even when you can’t feel it.

Even when you don’t understand it.

And maybe, just maybe, the interruption isn’t the end of your story.

Maybe there’s something ahead that you can’t even imagine yet.

So keep going.

Trust.

Repeat.

Keep going.

Trust.

Favorite Verses….Fresh Take

Hello, and welcome back! We are starting our new series, “Favorite Verses…..Fresh Take” and I am truly excited about it. I’ve been taking the last few weeks off after the Fruit of the Spirit series to reflect and think, and it just seems like the Lord kept drawing me back to my favorite verses. I’m not sure how long we will be doing this series yet, I don’t have an anticipated end date…..but I am still excited about what we will be digging into.

I also wanted to take a moment to welcome my friends in Israel, who are reading the blog. After visitors in the United States, Israel is second in visitation rate. So welcome, and I’m glad you are here. I know that things are tough in Israel right now, so the fact that you’re visiting here, in time where you could have been anywhere else….it just means so much. I am thinking of and praying for you all, and I hope that we find peace soon in this great big old world. But again, thank you for being here.

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Beginning this series with, I was thinking about some of my most favorite verses in the scriptures. And to be honest, my favorite scriptures tend to be some that are often overlooked or not the ones that you can find on a t-shirt or a wall hanging. Some of them are. But that’s because the verse has gone beyond just face value and being something that is really incredibly personal, because I have lived these verses. Without any further delay….let’s get into it, shall we?

If I were to ask you, what’s the most famous verse in the whole Bible, what would you say?

I bet money, you’d say John 3:16.

You can find it on Cookout Cups, t-shirts, billboards….John 3:16. When I was in Vacation Bible School, the memory verse for the week most of the time was related to John 3:16.

This is not a sermon about that verse.

I actually love John 3:17 more than 16.

And for many of you, you may have never heard this verse at all.

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him

-John 3:17

Before you read John 3:17, remember why Jesus said It.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whosoever believes in him shall be saved”

Let’s dig into the context of this entire passage. Jesus goes out to speak to Nicodemus, in the middle of the night, mind you (that is important later), because Nicodemus is trying to understand who Jesus is, and what God is doing through him. It’s interesting that John’s gospel is the only gospel that records this conversation. Now Nicodemus is a pretty intelligent guy, he knows the scriptures, he knows the laws. He knows religion. He knows what people are supposed to do, and how they are commanded to do, through the scriptures. He knows the rules. But Jesus begins his conversation with this highly religious and respected man, Nicodemus, by beginning this conversation with a concept so foreign to Nicodemus, he doesn’t understand it. He doesn’t get what Jesus is talking about, when Jesus says he needs to be born again.

Nicodemus has lived his whole life to this point, by trying to follow the rules and doing the rituals, but Jesus stands in contrast to all of that when he says….you must be born again.

In his lack of understanding, he even says “How can I be born again, unless I go into my mother’s womb?” Like, Jesus, are you crazy? What are you talking about? This doesn’t make sense!

Jesus is saying that to be saved, Nicodemus has to do something that he cannot accomplish through religious achievement. He needs a new life.

Then Jesus cities a story Nicodemus would have known very well, because he knew the scriptures, right? He calls back to Numbers 21-the Isralites and the Bronze serpent. The people had sinned, Judement had come for them. But God. God provided a way for them to be rescued. Jesus says “Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man [himself] must be lifted up….” This is foreshadowing his death upon the cross and the resurrection that he will undergo.

And then, in that conversation, Jesus says John 3:16.

God so loved….
God gave…..
God sent….

But John 3:16 isn’t the end of the thought.

John 3:17 underlines the purpose of God sending Jesus. It tells us what love looked like when it showed up.

Jesus says that God so loved the world that he sent his Son, and then immediately explains why the Son was sent.

Not to condemn the world. Which, I’m gonna come back to that in just a minute.

But God’s purpose in sending Jesus was to rescue.

That means the gospel doesn’t begin with humanity trying to climb its way towards God…..it begins with God coming towards humanity. Because God knew the world was broken…and God didn’t just abandon it. God didn’t turn his back upon the world. The world needed saving….so God stepped into it.

A Moment for “World”

Now, let’s go back to that thought.

The phrase was “Not to condemn the world.”

And I think that word world is important, especially when we remember who Jesus is talking to.

Nicodemus was a Pharisee, part of a movement deeply concerned with Israel’s faithfulness to God and separation from impurity. He knew the Scriptures. He knew the laws. He knew the promises and covenants that God had made with the people of Israel.

Within a first-century Jewish context, there were also expectations that God’s coming kingdom and Messiah would involve both Israel’s deliverance and God’s judgment of wickedness. Israel had lived under the control of foreign powers for generations, and many people longed for God to intervene, deliver them from oppression, and restore what had been lost.

But I don’t want us to make the mistake of thinking that Nicodemus only knew about a God of judgment.

Because the Hebrew Scriptures Nicodemus knew so well are also filled with mercy, compassion, inclusion, concern for foreigners, and God’s concern for the nations. Isaiah imagines Israel as a “light to the nations.” The entire story of Jonah wrestles with the uncomfortable reality that God’s compassion can extend even to people we might not think deserve it.

Nicodemus already knew that God was merciful.

But against that backdrop, Jesus tells Nicodemus something that stretches the boundaries even farther:

God loves the world.

Not just Israel.

Not just the people who already understand.

Not just the people who have gotten everything right.

God loves the world.

And in that, the mission of Jesus becomes even bigger than the expectations Nicodemus may have brought with him that night. Jesus is radically expanding his understanding of just how far the mercy of God reaches.

And then, probably even more surprising, Jesus tells Nicodemus that the Son’s mission in this world is salvation.

Nicodemus came to Jesus knowing that God judges sin. He came knowing the promises God had made to Israel. He came knowing the Scriptures and knowing that God was merciful.

But what Jesus was about to show him was just how far God was willing to go to save people.

Save sinners. Save outsiders. Save people who didn’t have everything figured out. Save people Nicodemus might never have imagined being included in the story.

Nicodemus knew about the judgment of God. But Jesus wanted Nicodemus to understand the rescue mission of God.

Just as God rescued the people of Israel in Numbers, God was now moving toward the world to rescue it.

In a sense, Jesus was telling him that the story from Numbers was pointing toward himself.

The serpent was lifted up so dying people could live.

The Son will be lifted up so that dying people can live.

And this is where I think we need to sit with that word world for a minute ourselves.

Because modern Christianity sometimes unconsciously rewrites John 3:16 as:

“For God so loved the people who eventually believed the correct things…”

But that’s not what the sentence says.

It says:

God loved the world.

Love precedes response.

God doesn’t send Jesus because the world cleaned itself up.

God doesn’t send Jesus because everybody believed correctly.

God doesn’t send Jesus because humanity finally deserved Him.

God’s movement toward humanity begins with God’s character—not humanity’s worthiness.

God loved first.

Jesus came to Rescue, not just point out what was wrong.

This may be exclusive to me and my prior experiences with religion and faith, so the words that the verse starts with “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world” is especially stirring.

For a long time, I felt like I was being told about a God who condemns people. I felt like people saw themselves as just sinful and worthless and hopeless and all these other kinds of negative adjectives. And they spoke of a God who found them and changed them to be wonderful. But in that frame of mind, God seemed to be a paradox. It seemed like I had to balance this idea that God thought I was awful….in the same hands as the way that the same God now found them as wonderful. But to hold that, in the same breath, it is very anxiety-inducing and makes me feel like God is more interested in changing me, than seeing me for who I am, because who I am, isn’t good enough. In fact, I felt like the message of not being good enough for God was spoken more than the idea that God loves me. And eventually, I had to ask, that if the most famous scripture in the world says that God so loved the world before the world had the opportunity to be changed….why had I been taught to believe that I needed to change before I could really believe God loved me?

But feeling like you’re sinful and worthless and hopeless…..those words are the result of condemnation. It says “Look what you’ve done.” It shames us. It tells us we are good for nothing.

And we proceed with our spiritual lives just like that.

When we mess up, we feel guilty and ashamed that we can’t focus on anything else.

But this scripture says God didn’t come to condemn us. Jesus didn’t ever make someone feel guilty or ashamed of who they were. I can’t find a single time, where Jesus speaks down to another person or belittles them because of what they’re doing.

However, he does criticize some people. He was the harshest to those religious people whose religion and beliefs are hurting other people.

But we do it to them, anyways.

That doesn’t mean that Jesus just pretended sin didn’t matter, because you don’t need a Savior if there isn’t anything to be saved from. Jesus didn’t come to identify the problem and condemn the people in the problem. Jesus came to be the solution. Jesus came to rescue us.

Jesus came to help us identify what our sins were doing to us, and call us to return back home, to be restored.

It’s like a firefighter, who arrives at a burning house. The firefighter doesn’t stand on the sidewalk, just shouting to everyone who can hear, “Who left the stove on?” While there may eventually be questions about how the fire started, and there might be an investigation. There might be consequences. There may need to be things changed before anybody can cook dinner in the house again. But when the flames are blazing, and someone is trapped inside the house, finding out the cause isn’t the first concern. The firefighter’s first concern is to go through the door and rescue the person trapped inside. The rescue is his mission and first priority.

The same is so with Jesus. Rescuing us is our first priority. Stepping into our brokenness, our shame, our pain and our sin was his first priority. Stepping into our world that desperately needed him, was the first priority.

God so loved us, and the cross is proof that God didn’t stand at a safe distance from human brokenness, he entered it, walked around in it, and calls us out of it into restoration. Not condemnation.

If Jesus doesn’t Condemn, neither should We

This is where John 3:17 gets uncomfortable.

It is very easy to celebrate the fact that Jesus didn’t condemn us while we become very comfortable condemning everybody else.

Who gave us permission?

We are easy to point out what’s wrong. Wrong with the world. Wrong with our culture. Wrong with the church. Wrong with somebody’s lifestyle. Wrong with their decisions. Wrong with their family. Wrong with their theology. Condemnation does just that, it says that someone is the problem and they are in the wrong.

And sometimes, we might even be right about what is wrong.

But who gave us permission?

What are we doing about it?

Jesus didn’t simply identify brokenness.

He moved towards it.

He touched people that everyone else avoided. He ate with people that religious folks turned way. He stopped for people everyone ignored. He gave dignity to people that were discarded. He didn’t compromise truth. He convicted people, urging them and asking them to notice how what they are doing is hurting someone else, or separating them from the life God has called them to live.

But He also never used truth as an excuse to stop loving people.

Condemning people attacks identity. But the other? It invites transformation.

And maybe that’s one of the greatest challenges of John 3:17.

When we see somebody whose life is burning down, are we more interested in determining who started the fire— or are we willing to help them get out? The world already has plenty of people standing outside pointing at the smoke. Maybe the Church ought to be the people running toward the house.

Not because sin doesn’t matter.

Not because truth doesn’t matter.

But because people matter to God.

John 3:16 tells us how much:

“God so loved the world…”

John 3:17 tells us what He did about it:

He came to save it.

And if we are going to carry the name of Jesus into this world, perhaps people should encounter something similar when they encounter us. Not people who pretend everything is okay. Not people who never speak truth. But people whose truth is wrapped in love. People who love people first, before anything else. People who move toward hurting people. People who make room for restoration. People who would rather throw somebody a lifeline than throw another stone.

Because we follow a Savior who looked at a broken world and didn’t say:

“Look what they’ve done.”

He said:

“I’m going after them.”

Because, really, if the ONLY one who has ever been entitled to shame us, belittle us or hold us as less than….if that ONLY one who had earned that ability refused to do any of that….then why do we? Why do we feel entitled to do any of that to anyone, if our Savior did not? Who gave us permission?

Closing Thought

John 3:16 says God loved people.

John 3:17 says God came to restore people.

And now the question becomes:

How are we going to proceed?

We decided somebody wasn’t welcome.

Who gave us permission?

We decided someone’s past made them less worthy?

Who gave us permission?

We decided that somebody’s questions meant their faith wasn’t real?

Who gave us permission?

We decided somebody had to get their life together before they could belong?

Who gave us permission?

We decided that defending the truth gave us permission to humiliate another human being.

Who gave us permission?

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world…..

Fruit of the Spirit Series: Against Such there is No Law

And….we come to an end…to a brilliant series.

Against such there is no law.

If you’ve been joining us, we’ve been digging into the Fruits of the Spirit for this summer series, and I’ve been truly enjoying it, and I hope you have as well. I hope you have found this revisit a refresh and an encouragement to keep doing the darn thing.

So let’s dig into this last phrase: Against Such There is No Law

Two Ways to Live

So I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. -Galatians 5:16-18

To start at the end, I’d like to visit the beginning. Paul is the speaker here, and he explains that the flesh and the Spirit often desire things that are contrary to one another. And that is challenging to wrestle with, particularly when whatever the flesh wants, it’s well-deserved in our eyes. But we, who are led by the Spirit, realize that to walk in the Spirit sometimes means that the people who hurt us, don’t get what they deserve from us.

Because it was never our job to get even. It wasn’t our job to set the scales in the right.

Our job is to live by the Spirit.

And if all you get from this series is that we have some rules as Christians, then you’ve missed the mark. Christians are not supposed to live by rules, but sometimes, Christians think the fruits of the Spirit are new rules to replace the old way of living. They think we have to be more loving, more joyful, more peaceful, more patient, more kind, better, more faithful, gentler and control ourselves. And if a bunch of rules is all we’ve taken from this passage, then we’ve simply replaced one list of rules with another. Which we will screw up, I mean I know myself.

The point is not a new list of rules, the point is this:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” -Galatians 5:22-23

Notice the wording there in the beginning.

Fruit OF the Spirit

Fruit is not something that a branch manufactures in themselves or by their own determination. They don’t sit around and just think up a branch offshoot into a piece of fruit. Fruit grows because the branch is alive and connected to its source.

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself….-John 15:4-5

Jesus is saying here that just as a branch cannot bear fruit apart from the vine, we cannot bear this spiritual fruit apart from following Him. And for us to produce spiritual fruits, we have to allow ourselves to be changed by our proximity to Jesus. It will happen naturally, but it takes time.

Why do we mention laws in the first place?

When I first looked at that last statement, it puzzled and perplexed me, because the verse isn’t talking about laws. But the point wasn’t missed on the Christians Paul was addressing this letter to. They got the point. But you and I often need more explanation.

Against such there is no law.

Before we think about that, let’s think about the purpose of the law.

Why does society need laws? When you take away the law in a society, you take away the order. You take away consequence from the disorder. Human desires, if you leave them unchecked, they don’t always lead towards what is good. Laws provide boundaries and restrain destructive behaviors for most of the population. If there were no laws, according to Paul, he believes that our works of the flesh would lead to many negative things. Take a look at the list he made in Galatians 5:19-21. Just look at it. Hatred, jealousy, rage, selfishness…..it’s quite a list of the worst of humanity.

If you and I are one of these things all the time, it will destroy what we have. It’ll destroy our relationships with the people we love. It will destroy our marriages. It will destroy families. It will destroy churches. It will destroy communities. Entire societies could be destroyed if there are no guardrails to deter us from falling into that trap.

Love does no harm to a neighbor. -Romans 13:10

If we have no guardrails and we just completely give into the desires of what we want, and forgetting other people, we eventually will harm other people. We will be the ones who hurt others.

But the life molded by the Spirit is the opposite, the Spirit produces good things. It gives me the ability to choose to love, choose to be kind, to choose to be gentle, because of the work of God in me.

Against Such there is No Law

Think about that statement and let’s be literal for a moment.

What law would you make against these things? What law would you make to deter people from being loving? Or being kind? Or being too faithful? Or being too gentle?

Wouldn’t that be a weird law?

There isn’t a need for a law to guard against us being too much of the Fruit of the Spirit, because being in the Spirit does not harm our neighbor. It’s actually a blessing to our neighbor.

We bring good to the lives of others, when we submit to the work of God in our lives to produce fruits of the spirit.

Fruit fulfills what the Law was pointing Toward

For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: Love your neighbor as yourself. -Galatians 5:14

The Old Testament and Torah was what the new Christians had previously oriented their lives around. They had specific times of the day that they got up, and there were things they did a certain way because the scriptures demanded it. The law was there to show people how they were to love each other.

And when I read those laws, I realize, there is no way I could possibly follow all of them and get them all right.

Paul told his followers: The entire law is fulfilled in love. And then, a few verses later, he names love as the first fruit. That’s not accidental. And then he summarizes the end that Against such there is no law. That’s also not accidental. Compare it with what Paul says in other places:

• Romans 13:8: Whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.
• Romans 13:10: Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the Law.

Here’s the difference between merely obeying a rule and being transformed by the Spirit. Suppose someone asks you, “Do I really need a commandment telling me not to steal from my neighbor?”

If I genuinely love my neighbor, something deeper has happened here. If I love you, I don’t want to steal from you. I don’t want to lie about you. I don’t want to take advantage of you. I don’t want to destroy your reputation. I won’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt your family. I only want what is good for you.

The law can tell me not to hurt my neighbor, but the Spirit changes me so that I desire good for my neighbor.

And that’s much deeper than rule-following.

The Goal was never merely “don’t do bad things”

Christianity can easily become defined by the things we don’t do. Don’t do this. Don’t do that. Don’t say that. Don’t go there. Don’t participate in this. Don’t support this. And certainly, we can find any Scripture to give us commands and boundaries in every situation and circumstance.

But if we reduce our faith to a list of things we successfully avoided, we have missed something.

If anyone, then, know the good things they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. James 4:17

God isn’t merely interested in the absence of evil. He desires the presence of Good. There’s a difference between saying “I didn’t hate anybody today” and “I loved somebody today.” There’s a difference between “I didn’t lose my temper” and “I responded with gentleness.” There’s a difference between “I didn’t hurt anyone” and “I showed kindness to someone.”

The absence of bad fruit is not the same as the presence of good fruit. Our lives are not measured by what has disappeared from our lives because we followed the rules, and we don’t become a mature Christian from avoiding it. Our maturity is revealed by what has begun growing there.

There’s no law against being a full, mature Christian, because the things that we will do because we have been impacted by the fruits of the Spirit growing in our lives….those are the things that people want and benefit from!

So what’s growing in you?

What’s growing in you?

That’s the question I want to end with.

What’s growing in you?

Not what rules have you been better at following?

Not what sins have you gotten better at hiding?

Not even How much better are you than the person beside you?

What is growing in you?

Because fruit tells you something about the tree.

By their fruit you will recognize them….-Matthew 7:16

So when people encounter you, or when people encounter me, are they encountering more love than they did a year ago?

How about more joy?

How about more peace?

Am I becoming more patient with people who are difficult to be patient with?

Am I becoming kinder, or choosing goodness, or more faithful, more gentle or more self-controlled?

After spending an entire summer thinking about the Fruit of the Spirit series, what I don’t want us to walk away from this series thinking that we have nine more things to work on.

That’s not the point.

The fruits we produce were never the source. The fruits we produce are because of the work of the Spirit in us.

A branch doesn’t grit its teeth and say, I’m going to make an apple today. It stays connected to the tree. It receives what the tree gives it.

And slowly—sometimes so slowly that you don’t even notice it’s happening—fruit begins to grow.

Maybe that’s what God has been doing in you. Maybe you’re not where you want to be yet, but you’re more patient than you used to be. Maybe you forgive a little quicker. Maybe you don’t have to have the last word anymore. Maybe something that once sent you into a rage now sends you to prayer. Maybe you’re learning that gentleness isn’t weakness. Maybe you’re discovering that joy doesn’t require everything in your life to be going right. Maybe you’re finally learning to love someone who hasn’t made themselves particularly easy to love.

That’s fruit.

And fruit is evidence that God is at work.

But maybe there’s another fruit on this list that still makes you uncomfortable.

Maybe every time we’ve talked about patience, you’ve known.

Every time we’ve talked about self-control, you’ve known.

Every time we’ve talked about kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, love—you’ve known.

There’s an area of your life that you haven’t completely surrendered to God yet.

Then maybe the end of this series isn’t really an ending at all.

Maybe it’s an invitation.

Paul doesn’t stop after saying:

“Against such things there is no law.”

He keeps going.

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” — Galatians 5:24

And then he gives us what I think is the perfect way to end this entire series:

“Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” — Galatians 5:25

Keep in step.

That’s it.

Tomorrow morning, keep in step. When somebody gets on your nerves, keep in step. When somebody hurts you and everything in your flesh says they deserve to hurt too, keep in step. When you’re tempted to say the thing you know you shouldn’t say, keep in step. When kindness costs you something, keep in step. When faithfulness becomes inconvenient, keep in step. When patience has been stretched thin, keep in step. When nobody is watching and self-control is entirely up to you, keep in step.

Because this whole series was never really about becoming nicer people.

It wasn’t about learning nine Christian personality traits.

And it certainly wasn’t about giving ourselves nine more rules that we can fail to keep.

It was about becoming more like Jesus.

And we do that by staying close enough to Him that His Spirit begins producing in us things we could never consistently produce on our own.

Love.

Joy.

Peace.

Patience.

Kindness.

Goodness.

Faithfulness.

Gentleness.

Self-control.

And here’s the beautiful thing about a life like that:

Nobody needs protection from it.

Nobody needs a law against it.

Nobody needs a guardrail to keep you from loving them too genuinely, being too kind to them, being too faithful to them, treating them too gently, or exercising too much godly self-control.

Quite the opposite.

The world needs more of it. Our homes need more of it. Our marriages need more of it. Our churches need more of it. Our communities need more of it.

The people who encounter us need more of it.

So maybe the final question of the Fruit of the Spirit isn’t, “How much fruit do I have?”

Maybe it’s simply:

“Am I still connected to the One who grows it?”

Because if we stay close to Him, He will keep working. He will keep pruning. He will keep changing us. And He will keep producing fruit.

So after an entire summer of talking about the Fruit of the Spirit, I think Paul gives us the perfect final word:

Don’t just admire the fruit.
Don’t just memorize the fruit.
Don’t turn the fruit into another set of rules.

Stay close to the One who grows it.

“Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”

And if we do that, the fruit will come.

Against such there is no law.

Fruit of the Spirit Series: Self- Control

As we are close to wrapping up this sermon series, I can tell you that this has been rather an exciting process for me. I’ve actually wanted to go through this series for a long time, just didn’t ever take the time to do so. I hope you’ve gotten a good bit of something from this, because I know I certainly have, and I thank you for coming along with me on this journey. As we’ve been going through this series, one by one, each fruit has revealed us more and more who we are, by sometimes revealing who we aren’t. Instead of beating ourselves up and saying “well I am just so horrible” or “I’m just the worst person ever. ” I hope this instead has been encouragement for you to look to the Lord for help, and know that you’re a work in progress. I also hope that you’ve seen places where you’ve thought back in your life and have been able to say “do you remember when this happened? If it happened today, I wouldn’t have reacted that way?” And that’s evidence of God working in your life, and I don’t know about you, but that’s something to be celebrated!

Self-Control is Not Willpower, it is Fruit

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. -Galatians 5:22-23

We’ve looked at fruit before throughout this series, and one of the characteristics of fruit that we’ve looked at over and over again, is that fruit is produced over time, it is something that is active and is growing. Self-control is a fruit as well.

But we like to approach it by saying something like this: “I need to try harder,” or “I need more discipline” or “I need to get myself together.

Biblical self-control doesn’t happen because we make it happen. We don’t produce the fruit, but we do participate in its growth.

The Spirit empowers; we yield.
The Spirit convicts; we obey.
The Spirit provides strength; we make the choice.

All this, every fruit, only happens because of the work of God in our lives. The question isn’t “Can I control myself?” It never was meant to be that. You and I weren’t supposed to try to produce fruit on our own. Actually, when we try to do something, I don’t know about you, but I mess it up, every single time. The question should be, “Who is controlling me?” It’s about surrender. You and I have to surrender to the work God has done in our lives, that will cause us to produce more fruit. 

But we mess up, don’t we?  We get it wrong, don’t we?  I know I do.  I like to try to control myself, and I like to try to do it on my own.  Something will happen, and I’ll get myself all worked up and twisted up about it for one reason or another.  But that’s when I’m forgetting that self-control is not merely controlling yourself, it is actually allowing the Holy Spirit to govern the things that would otherwise control you.  When I do that, I find peace.  When I do that, I can make it. 

Without Self-Control, We Leave Ourselves Unguarded

Like a city whose walls are broken through, is a person who lacks self-control.  -Proverbs 25:28

When the writer of Proverbs was writing this, he was writing it from a perspective of being uniquely aware of what the function of walls were for a city.  In that day and time, having walls around your city ensured that you were not vulnerable, not only from attacks, but from the elements.  When whole cities were taken over, the walls were the first thing to go.  Walls never prevented the enemy from existing.  The enemy would always exist until they were wiped out, but the wall prevented the enemy from having unrestricted access.  Without that, a city would have nothing to protect its members from being constantly at the mercy of the elements or constantly defending their city.  Today, we don’t typically build walls around our cities, and as such, the idea that the writer is communicating here would be more akin to our use of a security system today.  But then, the wall was the city’s entire security system. 

When we say that a person who lacks self-control is like a city without walls, we are saying that self-control must be protection.  Self-control will create boundaries in our lives that prevent us from giving that unrestricted access to the vices you and I have that stand to distract us from doing what it is that we need to do.  Whether it be our addictions, or be our emotions….self-control prevents us from overdoing it and making an even bigger mess of our lives. 

Self-Control is a Sign of Strength, Not Weakness

Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.  -Proverbs 16:32

When you and I think of strong people, we think of body builders.  The one with the big biceps and bulging muscles.  We think of the people who stay at the gym and who eat lots of protein.  In short, we define strength by what a person can do to others.  I call those people strong, because if they decided they wanted to arm-wrestle or body wrestle me, I would lose in a heartbeat. 

Scripture defines strength and measures it by what a person can restrain within themselves.  While that person may have the ability to do whatever, holy strength, is the ability to not do so, even though they can. 

Let me give an example, that might make that a little less muddy.

When something happens, anyone can react.  Everyone will react.  Anyone can say what they’re thinking, even though it might not be the most kind or loving thing.  Anyone can retaliate when they’re hurt, and strike back with venomous words when they’re hurt.  Anyone can lose their temper, and use that anger to destroy anything.  Anyone can justify doing what feels good in the moment, regardless of the consequences. 

But have you ever tried not doing that? 

Have you ever tried holding your tongue, when you really want to say what you’re thinking, but you don’t because you care about them?  Have you ever tried to stop yourself from hurting the person who just hurt you?  Have you ever tried to maintain your cool when someone really pissed you off?  Have you ever tried to hold back and not doing something that you really want to do, but you’re not going to do because it’s wrong?

That is strength. 

If we follow Jesus and we follow the model that Jesus did, we see that there were multiple times where Jesus could have….but didn’t.  Self control isn’t passivity, it isn’t weakness, it isn’t allowing others to mistreat us.

Self-control is having the power to respond differently and choosing to submit that power to God, and leaving it in God’s hand.

Yes, they’re gonna do whatever.  Yes, they’re gonna hurt you.  Yes, they’re gonna cut corners.

But when you and I demonstrate that we have control over ourselves, and we respond like so, we show just how strong we are, and who is in control of our lives. 

Self-Control Lives in the Space Between Feeling and Response

[Be] quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.  -James 1:19-20

Notice the language that James uses, quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.  James would go on to explain that human anger doesn’t produce the righteousness that God desires.  In this scripture, James creates a space between what happens and how we respond.  And if you’re like me, my world seems to demand an immediate response to something that happens.  But I am learning more and more that there is space between what happens and my response.

Feelings are real.  You’re entitled to feel angry.  You’re entitled to feel hurt.  You’re entitled to be afraid.  You can feel feelings, but those feelings don’t have to become our instructions.  It is possible to stop, feel the feelings, and then figure out what the best way to proceed is going to be.  Sometimes, it’s not the best idea to respond in anger, fear, pride, desire or hurt.  Sometimes, the best response is to respond in self control, knowing you can feel something, but you don’t have to obey the feeling. 

Maturity creates a pause.  Maturity creates space between what happened, and your response.  That pause is our self-control.  It doesn’t mean that you stop experiencing emotional responses to what happened, it just means  you stop allowing those emotions to make your decisions for you.  And when you stop allowing those emotions to make your decisions, you’re showing self-control in a way that changes the atmosphere of where you are. 

Our Mouths are the First Places Self-Control Becomes Visible

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  Proverbs 15:1

You and I cannot control what someone says to us.  We can’t control how someone treats us.  We can’t control when someone misunderstands us.  We can’t control whether someone agrees with us.  We can’t control someone else’s attitude. 

But with the Holy Spirit working in us, to create self-control within us, we can control the way that we respond to those situations and those people.  And the greatest test of our self control isn’t what we say when we are calm.  It’s in the moments we are our most angry, or exhausted, or embarrassed, or disrespected or frustrated, or corrected or disappointed…it is in those moments that the way we respond reveals what is governing us. 

When you and I take a step back, surrender to the work of God, you will find that in those situations, we may respond in a more gentle manner than we want.  Being gentle in our response is not surrender.  It’s not admitting the person is right. 

It’s actually deciding that you’re not going to allow their behavior to control your reaction.  When another person’s behavior determines our own, then they are exercising more control over us than we are. 

What does self-control look like when your spouse says something that hits exactly the wrong nerve? When somebody posts something about you online? When a coworker takes credit for something you did? When your grown child makes a decision you disagree with? When somebody says something disrespectful and you already know exactly what you could say that would hurt them back?

Then:

The question isn’t whether I have a response. The question is whether every response I have deserves to come out of my mouth.

The Spirit Gives us the Power to Exercise Self-Control

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.  -2 Timothy 1:7

It’s not about trying harder.  It’s not about doing our best to be whatever.

Our self-control is not get yourself together. 

Part of self-control is yielding ourselves more completely to God.  When we do that, God gives us the strength to make a different choice, that’s power.  God changes the motivation behind our choices to be coming from a place of love.  God gives us self-discipline, and we are able to govern our actions instead of being governed by our impulses.  The best part, the Holy Spirit’s job isn’t to simply convict us after we lose control, it is to empower us before we lose control so that we can make a different choice.  In the moment we are most tempted to send the message, or make the comment, or lose our temper, or buy the thing, or return to the addiction, or saying something we will regret…..the Holy Spirit is that voice saying You don’t have to do this. 

We Must Practice it. 

Like every other fruit, Self-control grows.  It has to be practiced though.  Nobody can plant a fruit tree today on Sunday and expect mature fruit on Monday.  Similarly, all spiritual fruit has to take time to develop and to grow, and that comes from our relationship with God.    It comes from yielding to the Holy Spirit’s calls to obedience over time.  Every time that we hold our tongue or walk away from temptation, or forgive, or wait when we are told to, or praying before responding, or choosing what the Holy Spirit calls us to, instead of what we want.

Every time, we are practicing submission to the Spirit. 

You see, self control realizes it’s not about what you and I want, it’s about that submission to God. 

Ultimately, when it comes to self-control, it’s about who’s in control.

Who’s in control?

Because Paul identifies self-control as a fruit of the Spirit produced by the Spirit, the question isn’t whether or not we need more self-control.

We can’t do it on our own.

The question is, and becomes, What is controlling me? 

It’s simple.

Where have I allowed my walls and boundaries to come down?

What emotion, appetite, habit, desire or reaction has been making decisions that should belong to God?

Am I trying harder to control myself, or am I surrendering more of myself to the Holy Spirit?

It’s simple, but that doesn’t mean easy. 

Self-control isn’t the absence of desire, it’s not the absence of emotion.  It doesn’t mean we aren’t tempted. 

It’s submission to a greater authority. 

When the Spirit governs us, anger doesn’t have to control us.  Desire doesn’t have to control us.  Fear doesn’t have to control us.  Other people’s behavior doesn’t have to control us.  Our hurt doesn’t have to control us.  We can feel all of these feelings, but self-control means that we don’t obey it. 

We can want something without taking it.

We can think something without saying it.

We can be hurt without hurting someone else.

And we can do all of these things, not because we have just this superhuman willpower, but because the Spirit of God is producing fruit in us.

It’s simple, but it doesn’t mean easy.  Self-control can actually be pretty freaking hard.  But it’s not impossible.

Thankfully, we have a helper who is ready, willing and able to help. 

Five years ago, I would have said it—but today I didn’t. That’s fruit.
I used to let that anger control me—but today I paused. That’s fruit.
I used to have no boundaries there—but God has helped me rebuild the wall. That’s fruit.

Not perfection. Fruit.

And fruit is evidence that something is alive and growing on the inside.

Fruit of the Spirit Series: Gentleness

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

And we are back! I have been MIA the last few weeks because I have been in the process of starting school again. If you don’t know, I’m a teacher, and the process of starting school, getting back into the routine and trying hard to get back into the sleeping schedule…it’s just all quite the challenge for me. I love my summers because I have not a single schedule in my head. Not so much now. But most of us are still in summer mode, so lets get to finishing this series!

Last time we talked about faithfulness. We talked about how God remains faithful even when we wander. This week we’re going to ask a different question: What do we do when someone else wanders?

What do we actually mean when we say someone is gentle?

If you’re like me, I think of someone who is similar to a teddy bear. Someone who gives away when squeezed. Who is rather passive, who avoids any real tension. Who doesn’t stand up for themselves. Who is just kinda there, not really contributing any real opinions. Someone who doesn’t have a spine.

But that’s not really what it means to be gentle.

If we look at the opposite kind of person, like the most opposite of persons, it is someone who is a “my way or the highway” kind of person. A person who is active, aggressive and is looking for a fight to fight to the death. This person believes everyone should think just like them, who wants everyone around them to think and believe just like them. They will insert themselves and their opinion, even when it’s not asked for. It is someone who is unaware of how they come off. And I don’t know if there’s a single word that describes all of that.

Gentleness isn’t weak or passive, actually. Gentleness is more of a quality, and for some of us, it is a quality that we ask for from others, but rarely give out to others.

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. -Philippians 4:5

I believe Paul is intentional in the fact that he says “gentle” here, because he could have chosen weakness. He could have chosen another word, but he chooses this one, because there’s a difference between gentleness and weakness. But then he says that it should be “evident” to all people. It should be obvious, it should be on display. The way that you move and work in your life, you should show your gentleness to all people, even those who don’t know you. People should see our gentleness in us.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. -Proverbs 15:1

Gentleness changes the room. In our world today, there’s not a lot of gentle people. But when you encounter them, you know it, because they stand completely separate from most of the world. They move differently through this world, they act differently through this world, and they consider more than most people of this world.

Jesus described himself as Gentle

Come to me, all you are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest….for I am gentle and humble in heart. -Matthew 11:28-30

When I think of this verse, I often think of it from a “what’s in it for me” kind of perspective. I think of it as a call for me to come to Jesus and give Jesus my burdens, and I’ll be lighter and more happy and all that. But when I shift my perspective, and I see the text as a description of Jesus, I see that Jesus is gentle and humble in heart. Because Jesus is gentle with us, when we come to Jesus with our problems and our burdens and we are just at the end of our rope, Jesus is gentle with us.

Because he could not be. Sometimes, the mess I am in, is because I have exactly made it that way. And Jesus, in all of his knowledge, could say to me something along the lines like this: “Well, when you did _______, you should have known it would lead to _______ and now you’re here complaining to me about what happened.” Sometimes, the very mess we are in, is because of our own doing, and I am thankful that the Lord is gentle with me in those situations, because I would not receive that accountability well in those moments!

Jesus says “I am gentle” and in his journey on earth, he was inviting the people society often neglected to care for, the weary, the burdened, the exhausted, the ones who are carrying too much. Jesus never said “come to me when you’ve gotten your life together” or “come to me when you deserve my grace.” Jesus just said “come to me.” If God is faithful and remains faithful when we wander, Jesus is gentle when we are weary.

We are met in our weariness, and you and I probably have a testimony, a story of a time when you were just going through it, and Jesus was just so gentle and kind, and took your burdens and helped you through it, all, even if you didn’t deserve or earn it. Even when it was a mess you made for yourself.

We should treat others with gentleness when we have power

If someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. -Galatians 6:1

There’s a lot here. And I’ll be honest, this is a verse that not too many pastors and preachers mention often.

So, people are human, they make mistakes, and they do something wrong. Gentleness does not mean pretending that this wrong they have done, doesn’t exist, but the goal is restoration. Not to humiliate, not to punish, not to expose, destroy or shame. But to restore. Notice how we are supposed to restore: gently.

This means to me, that the point of Christianity isn’t about being right. It doesn’t matter that we’re in the “right” and they’re in the “wrong.” The point of Christianity might be “How do I treat someone when they’re in need of restoration?” When handled rightly, with gentleness, that could really change the trajectory of a person’s life. But when a mistake is not handled correctly, and a mistake is met with harshness…it can really damage some relationships and it it can really damage some people in a way that they’ll never be the same.

The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome, but must be kind to everyone….opponents must be gently instructed….” -2 Timothy 2:24-25

Even when we come up against people who are our opponents, our enemies, even those who have hurt us deeply, Paul says that we should respond in gentleness.

But Paul doesn’t know! Paul doesn’t know how that person treated me. Paul doesn’t know what they said about me. Paul doesn’t know how they hurt me. Paul doesn’t know the tears I have cried. Paul just doesn’t know! We can say all that we want, and while it is true, it doesn’t really matter, because Paul realizes that you and I, as believers, are playing an extremely different game here. Paul realizes that Jesus sees and knows all. He knows the hurt, and he knows the pain, which is why we’re not supposed to come to each other, because we only know one side of the story. We’re supposed to come to Jesus with our hurts and our burdens, because Jesus knows the whole story. Jesus knows what happened. But Jesus also knows the context in which the mistake was waged.

Jesus has a different perspective and asks us to trust that perspective over getting even or being harsh in return.

Gentleness challenges our need to win.

This actually falls in like with a book I’m reading right now by Andy Stanley, Not In It to Win It. And in this book, he describes our world as one that is focused on winning. Everyone wants to win. Political campaigns want to win. Lobbyists want to win. And churches even want to win. Church members want to win.

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. –Romans 14:1

This verse stares in the face of those of us who want to win arguements. This verse tells us to “accept” the ones who have weaker faith. Who don’t have all of it figured out, who perhaps don’t fall in line with all of the finer points of the faith, and to not argue about it.

Why? That seems very against every impulse in my body when it comes to people who don’t believe the same thing I believe.

Paul knows that believers are going to disagree. And he doesn’t tell us to make sure everyone agrees in the same thing. But in his saying “accept one another”, he is saying that the way we treat each other is more important than the way we agree with each other.

Let us therefore, make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. -Romans 14:19

Let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. -James 1:19-20

Because sometimes, different people arrive at different parts of the belief at different times. And sometimes, that people that needs to arrive at a different part of the belief might be you. It requires us to trust in a Savior that is continuously working in our lives to change us and to change our perspectives.

Not every disagreement requires a winner, and it may not even be our job to be the winner of the argument. And in the moments where I or you are the winner of the argument, we may convince someone else that they are unloved. In that situation, what exactly have we accomplished? When people are “wrong” and the way that we treat them isn’t kind….and they think they are unloved in the process….we have lost completely.

The question isn’t only, “Is what I am saying true?”
The question is also, “Does the way I am saying it look like Jesus?”

Gentleness doesn’t mean avoiding hard truth.

People who are not gentle, are quick to come back with what I just said with, “well how do we speak the truth in love if we can’t be harsh?” And then, the jump becomes, “well I guess that means I can never hold people accountable and that means Christians become soft.”

The answer in the middle is gentleness.

It’s not sentimental, and it’s not a weak stance.

But there is a way to “speak the truth in love” that doesn’t dehumanize a person. Paul never eliminated speaking about what is true, but gentleness asks of you and me to speak the truth, without the truth being a weapon or an attack.

Truth doesn’t become more true because we are cruel when we speak it.

It’s easy for us to use the truth like daggers and spears, but it rarely actually gives us the outcome we want, it actually leads to destruction of relationships and trust. Gentleness is required, to speak the truth in such a way that it is still spoken, but spoken in a way that is not in an attack strategy.

Let your conversation be always full of grace….-Colossians 4:6

Grace and gentleness doesn’t mean dishonesty. It means that the way we communicate truth reflects the grace we ourselves have received. In short, it’s the way we say it, not what we really say, that makes all the difference.

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. -Romans 15:1-2

So how do we deal with people who are in the wrong, if I can’t use truth as a weapon? How do we change people’s actions to meet the truth?

The question no longer stems from a “How do I get my way?” kind of purpose. We are told to no longer have this perspective, but rather, adopt a different kind of perspective, “How can I build this person up?” How can I encourage them in their faith? How can I help them to grow? That is our focus, and should be the focus driving everything that we do.

Love is patient, love is kind….it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking…” -1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Gentleness is ultimately an expression of love that should supersede anything else that we try to do. If our mantra and our standard is to love others, then gentleness is the way that we love others. Even when we think they are wrong. Even when they don’t quite align all the way with the church or Jesus. Even when they’re just not there yet…love is the way we approach them in the process, because not everyone gets to the same place and space at the same time.

Gentleness toward ourselves

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. -Psalm 103:13-14

You and I are dust.

We are unfinished.

We still have a ways to go.

I know of no person in my life, that thinks of themselves as “perfection” or “complete.” We are all works-in-progress.

But you and I, while we often see ourselves as that way, we fail to see each other as that way.

God knows we’re in the process. God knows we are actually going to mess it all up and to screw it all up.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus -Romans 8:1

When we were talking about our “faithfulness” sermon a few weeks ago, I mentioned a song that had a verse that said “Prone to wander, Lord I feel it.” And I spoke about how sometimes you and I are not faithful. How sometimes, you and I are prone to wander from our faith.

Think about that, and then I want you to think about this: What if we treated ourselves with some of the gentleness God has already shown us? What if we treated each other that way? When you and I wander, God doesn’t condemn us, God isn’t angry with us….instead God just opens up love again, to wrap us in it again, until the next time we need it.

There are no conditions. There’s no terms that we have to agree with. There’s no requirements we have to believe in, we are just met with gentleness and love. God’s gentleness isn’t something we earn by getting everything right.

What does gentleness actually look like?

Pause.

Quick to listen, slow to speak -James 1:19

Before you and I assume, we need to clarify. That’s what gentleness means and looks like.

To answer before listening–that is folly and shame. -Proverbs 18:13

Listen.

Restore that person gently -Galatians 6:1

Remember your own unfinishedness. Remember we’re all not done yet.

And then, when it is time for you to speak or respond remember that your motive behind what you’re saying should be one of gentleness.

Will this heal, or am I simply trying to hurt?

When someone wanders:

Encourage.

Help.

Be patient.

When someone disagrees:

Encourage.

Help.

Be patient.

When someone hurts you:

Encourage.

Help.

Be patient.

Return to Faithfulness

God is faithful, even when we wander.

And God is gentle even when we are difficult.

And if the point of our faith and our belief in God is to make us more like God, then:

Because God has been faithful and gentle with us, we should become people how are also faithful and gentle with others.

Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love. -Ephesians 4:2

And I don’t know if you have noticed something, but it seems as we go deeper into this Fruit of the Spirit series, it seems like the Fruits of the Spirit are beginning to overlap with each other. You can’t love without being gentle. You can’t be gentle without patience. You can’t be humble without love.

The overlap there is really important, because although we think of the Fruit of the Spirit as nine independent personality traits, they’re not. They become the character of a person who is being transformed by the Spirit of God.

The Way we Hold One Another

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it….

You and I are going to wander. We know this of ourselves, but we often act as if we don’t expect it in other people.

I begin to close today by telling a story from my own life. Years ago, I had someone in my life that was a champion for the truth. Anyone who questioned or anyone who disagreed, they saw and treated as an enemy, even if they weren’t. I, myself, rarely seem to 100% follow in-line with anything, because I still have some ways to go. But anyways, we were discussing an issue, that we disagreed heavily in. To this day, I believe that this person believes that the way they acted towards me, they acted in love….but it sure didn’t feel like it. The way they spoke to me was very unkind and very harsh, and they threw scripture verses at me in a way that I felt that I was attacked.

Gentleness asks us What do we do when someone else wanders?

If our answer is to shame them, abandon them, correct them, expose them, write them off….we have missed the point of the grace that Jesus gave us.

The attacking kept coming, and honestly I was exhausted being on the receiving end of the so-called love they were handing out. And for believing the way I did, or thinking the way that I did, and because I wasn’t willing, at that moment, to change my stance on something….a private conversation became public and they exposed me and where I was, to people who weren’t even part of the conversation.

And had God not intervened, I could have used this event to turn me away from the Lord completely. Had God not been gentle with me, and had God not maintained his comforting peace throughout this journey….I would have used this to walk away.

Through this experience, God used this, to teach me about gentleness, and teach me that it’s more important, the way you treat people, than it is for you and I to be right.

If we hold them gently, we are following in the way of God, and treating others the way we, ourselves have been treated.

Encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. -1 Thessalonians 5:14

What do we do when someone else wanders?

Encourage.

Help.

Be patient.

What do we do when we disagree?

Encourage.

Help.

Be patient.

When someone wanders, encourage them.
When someone is struggling, help them.
When someone is difficult, be patient with them.

And when you’re tempted to ask, “Why can’t they just get it right?”

Remember:

You are someone who is still becoming, too.

We are all prone to wander.

And if faithfulness means God doesn’t abandon us when we wander, perhaps gentleness means we don’t abandon one another either.

Because really, it might be us who needs to change.

Fruit of the Spirit Series: Faithfulness

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

And welcome back! I do hope your summer has been going as well as mine has been. Summer is a more low-key time of year for me because I am not in school, and am able to spend more time studying and thinking about things, unlike during the school year. If you are just joining us, I’m glad you’re here and welcome you to this time together. I encourage you to do two things: 1) Feel free to check out the other sermons in this series, and 2) Have a great rest of your day!

Before I begin, I want to share a lyric from a hymn, which I think really ties in well with this topic from today, take a read below:

O to grace how great a debtor
daily I’m constrained to be!
Let that grace now, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here’s my heart; O take and seal it;
seal it for thy courts above.

Here’s a link to it, if you’d prefer to hear it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECW2hqMQSb0&list=RDECW2hqMQSb0&start_radio=1

I’ll be honest with you, most days I have no idea what the other lyrics mean. But this verse is so compelling to me, and when I began to study for this lesson, my mind kept calling me back to this lyric. So today, I’ve approached it from this lyric as sort of the framework for the sermon.

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Faithfulness has different applications and meanings in different contexts, as shown below:

At its core, faithfulness is about relationship. It means showing up, keeping your promises, remaining committed, and being trustworthy even when circumstances change.

When I hear the word, faithfulness, it is often accompanied with a story or a moment where someone was unfaithful. It might be a cheating spouse or a dishonest employee. Or it might be a student who cheated on a test. Or a friend who was not loyal. I am not minimizing the hurt from any of these situations. The damage done in these situations are very real and are often very deep, and it’s hard to come back from that. Situations like these often make me wonder about my faith in people.

And when we talk about faithfulness, we often only talk about God. And for good reason. Consider this: Who is the first person that Scripture describes as faithful?

It’s not us.

God is faithful even when we are not!

“If we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself.” –2 Timothy 2:13

God is described as faithful regardless of our actions. The definition of faithfulness says “keeping promises regardless of circumstances.” And that’s a clear description of one facet of God.

Before faithfulness is something God requires from us, it is something that God demonstrates towards us.

There have been times in my life where I have clearly experienced the faithfulness of God, where God seemed to be right there. You’ve likely experienced those same moments, too. And there have been moments, in the moment, where I have felt abandoned or discarded by the Lord, but looking back, I now clearly see where God was with me, each step of the way. I hope you can see those same moments, too.

Thankfully, God’s faithfulness is not dependent upon our perfect obedience, our certainty, our consistency or our ability to get everything right. Because if it was, God would never be there for you and I, because I can see more times in my life where I was none of those things, and God still showed up.

God keeps showing up because God is faithful, despite my unfaithfulness. Because that is exactly who God is, God is faithful. God will never leave you, God will never forsake you, God will never abandon you. God will see you through the best times of your life, and the worst times of your life. That should comfort you, if you ever wonder or wander. You will likely do both in your lifetime.

Let’s go to Exodus 34.

God introduces himself.

Not Moses. Not Israel.

God tells us who God is.

And among the first characteristics are:

• compassionate
• gracious
• slow to anger
• abounding in steadfast love
• faithful

That isn’t just a description of God.

It’s one of Scripture’s foundational descriptions of God.

“The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.” –Exodus 34:6

When I looked at the lexicon for this verse, I noticed that the Hebrew word for faithfulness is emunah, which besides faithfulness, carries the idea of firmness, steadiness and reliability.

So not only is God going to be there, but these words imply that God is the one that can be trusted. Trusted because that is exactly who God is.

But this is incredibly countercultural! In our day and age, we have this understanding that faithfulness is connected to our duty. If we are faithful to something, especially God, there’s this idea that being faithful starts with believing the right things, following the rules and never questioning. In fact, when we start doing the third, it’s like we’re being obstinate or defiant.

But scripture doesn’t see it that way, scripture sees it that God is faithful before our response, and in spite of our response.

Even when we are in the wrong, God is still faithful to us. Even when have been wronged, God is still faithful to us. There is nothing we can do that makes God stop being faithful. God’s faithfulness is not a reward we earn—it is the very nature of who God is.. No requirements, no expectations, no checklist of qualifications. Just faithfulness. For many of us, this is hard for us to accept or believe because it’s not what the rest of the world subscribes to, and sometimes, our anxieties put qualifications on it.

Faithfulness is not duty alone, it is relationship.

It is clear, God is faithful.

We are not.

I cannot count the number of times that God has shown out and shown up for me, when I didn’t deserve it, when I hadn’t earned it. This blog alone is just one testimony. There have been times when I just simply sat down, without studying, and God has poured a message down from heaven in a process that could only be described as divine in nature. There are times when just the right word will come from somewhere, and I know it isn’t me. But not only through this blog, there’s been other ways that God has showed up. And I bet that if you sit with it, you can clearly see times where God has showed up, and you weren’t praying, or you weren’t worshipping, or you weren’t tithing. And God showed up for you.

In the same way that God shows up for us, even in unfaithful circumstances, is the way we are called to be.

The dictionary definition of faithfulness includes, relationship, commitment, duties.

But I realized, as I was pondering this, that there’s a particular order to this.

Faithfulness begins in relationship. You cannot be faithful to something unless you have a relationship with it. A spouse who is faithful is not simply completing a duty, they have a relationship that is the foundation to that faithfulness. A friend who is constant is not simply checking a box when they are loyal to you, it is grounded in the relationship that you have with them. A parent who is committed to their child is not simply fulfilling a responsibility, there is the bedrock of a relationship that motivates and guides that love.

So why do we imagine our relationship with God works differently?

Faithfulness is love that remains.

Faithfulness is love that endures.

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you.” -John 15:4

Jesus doesn’t call you and I to perform for him. We aren’t called to make a celebration of all the people we pull to the alter. We aren’t called to fight the spiritual battles we decide to pick up. We aren’t called to sing the most worship songs. We aren’t called to give the most to the church. We aren’t called to simply attend church.

Jesus calls us to remain in him. To be in relationship with him. That’s it. The other stuff, although it can be good, when it becomes our substitute for our relationship with Jesus, it no longer becomes an act of faithfulness, it just becomes an act. Either way we operate, whether in relationship or acting, Jesus will still show up for us, because he is faithful.

Faithfulness Does not Require Certainity

“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” -Mark 9:24

Okay, so for context on this scripture, and I’ll try to be brief, this father brings his son to Jesus. The son was struck with a spirit that caused the boy to have seizures and fits and all kinds of convulsions. Jesus talks to the father, and gets some further context about the boy, and how long this has been going on. The father responds basically since he was a child, and begs Jesus to help him, if he can. Jesus says “anything is possible, if you believe” and then this man says “I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief.”

What an odd statement at first glance.

I’ve come to understand this statement more and more in the past few years.

This man is possibly one of the most honest people in scripture. He’s honest even still, today. There are times when we believe, but we still doubt. We still question. We still wonder. There are times when we lay in bed at night, where the questions ring in our heads, and they unsettle us before bed. Maybe we try to pray them away. Maybe we just lay there and let them torture us.

If you live any real life, and if you go through anything challenging, you’ll wonder, you will doubt.

This man came, bringing his biggest challenge to his faith, to Jesus. And he honestly states “I believe, but help my unbelief.” In doing so, this man brought both his faith and his doubts. And how does Jesus respond?

Jesus doesn’t turn him away, he doesn’t scowl at him for doubting. He doesn’t shame him for questioning. He doesn’t demand he search scriptures.

Jesus recieves him.

Notice what Jesus didn’t say. He didn’t say, ‘Come back after you’ve resolved your doubts.’He met this father exactly where he was. Wholeheartedly.

If you know the story, you know that Jesus casts the demon out. Of course, there’s more to the story, and I think it’s worthy of pondering over at another time….but the end of the story is that despite the doubts and the questions, the son gets to live a life without that spirit in him.

Because of his dad’s believing unbelieving faith.

Faithfulness never demands we have it all figured out. Faithfulness never demands that we be perfect in our faith and in how we understand it. Faithfulness never mandates that we never question. Faithfulness doesn’t expect us not to struggle.

Sometimes, the most faithful prayer is the honest one. The one that says “I don’t have it all figured out, I don’t know what you’re doing. God, help me keep walking.”

Faithfulness Becomes Our Response to God’s Faithfulness

When God is faithful to us, over and over again, that changes something in us. We in turn, become more faithful to God. We don’t become faithful so God will love us. We become faithful because we’ve discovered we already are loved.

And then, we become people who practice faithfulness towards others. And you never know how simply showing up for others will change others’ lives.

You and I know somebody (or maybe we are that somebody) that hasn’t been faithful to us. They have abandoned us or walked away. Some people never get over a broken relationship. That broken relationship truly changed their life. They’re never the same.

If that is true. Then so can the opposite be true.

What if you and I were people who were faithful to others? What if we didn’t do that to someone? What if our faithfulness to them, was the catalyst to changing their lives? You never know the impact you might have, just by being faithful and continuing to decide to show up.

This looks like us keeping our promises. Showing up as we can. Loving them, even when it’s not convenient or easy. Choosing to be compassionate with them, over judging them. Clarifying before we assume the worst. Staying committed to them in love, even when they don’t deserve it, and sometimes especially when they don’t deserve it.

The fruit of faithfulness is becoming the kind of people who reflect God’s faithfulness.

Who has everyone else given up on?

Who needs someone to stay?

Who needs someone to keep believing in them?

Who needs someone to keep showing up?

When we are that to somebody else, we are becoming the kind of people who reflect God’s faithfulness.

The End of the Song

“here’s my heart Lord, take and seal it
seal it for thy courts above”

The song doesn’t end with “I’ll never wander again.”

Frankly, that’s a lie.

It ends with the phrase “God, keep drawing me back.”

This is the heart of faithfulness, a desire to be faithful. By wanting to be faithful, it becomes something we work on, and eventually, it becomes something we are. As long as we are remaining in our connection and our relationship with the one who made us and who calls us his own, we will eventually lead ourselves into being faithful people.

But, as with everything else in this series.

It takes time.

Fruits of the Spirit Series: Goodness

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law” -Galatians 5:22-23

And welcome back!

Thanks for joining me here as we go through the Fruit of the Spirit series. I’m learning so much through this series, it is challenging and encouraging to me, and I hope it is doing the same for you.

This sermon has hit quite differently. When I was working through the information, and working through it, I thought it would go one way, but the Lord led me another way….as often happened. But it’s all good.

Speaking of good…see what I did there?? Goodness is one of those words we use all the time, but rarely define. We will describe food as good, movies as good, people as good, days as good. But what does that mean? And in a spiritual context, what does the Bible actually mean by “goodness”?

Our culture often defines goodness as simply being nice. But that’s not quite accurate. You and I can be good without being nice sometimes. Sometimes, being a good friend means that you have to say the thing or do the thing that although it hurts your friend, it’s ultimately in their best interest. You might not be interpreted as nice in that situation, but you’re being a good friend. We all have different ideas about what makes someone “good.” Fortunately, God’s definition doesn’t change.

Fortunately for us, and sometimes unfortunately, God’s definition of what is good is unchanging. For me at times, this is super comforting, knowing that the finish line to goodness never changes. But other times, knowing that the finish line to goodness never changes can be quite uncomforting, and in fact, quite challenging. You see, goodness isn’t simply avoiding evil. It’s not that quite black and white. If it were, goodness might be easier to attain. Instead, what I have come to understand is that goodness is actively reflecting the character of God.

Goodness Begins with God

Do good to your servant
    according to your word, Lord.
Teach me knowledge and good judgment,
    for I trust your commands.
 Before I was afflicted I went astray,
    but now I obey your word.
You are good, and what you do is good;
    teach me your decrees.

-Psalm 119:65-68

When we talk about the Lord, we describe him many ways. We call him perfect, and holy and loving. And we also call him “good.” We say “you’re a good good father,” as the song says.

Do you remember what the next line of the song says?

“It’s who you are.”

Goodness is who God is. God doesn’t just do good things. He doesn’t just dole out blessings and favor. It’s not that he makes all good things. He does all of that, because it is who he is. God’s goodness is God’s very nature.

And that’s something that I think we don’t often talk about a lot in church. In fact, I’ve heard far more sermons on how God is holy and demands us to live our lives in a higher way. How God will condemn those who don’t have a relationship with him to a hell that is unthinkable. Maybe you’ve heard those kinds of sermons too.

This is not that kind of sermon, folks.

In fact, when we focus on the hell of it all, we fail to include the fact that God, in God’s very nature, is good. There are tons of stories I know of, and you probably know them too…where God has worked out something for you. Or brought you through something. Or brought you to something. You and I can testify to the fact that God is good, because we are still here, and we are still living in faith.

Every single act of justice, every single act of mercy and every single act of compassion, and every single flood of generosity flows from who God is.

All the good things come from God.

And if goodness begins with God, we can’t manufacture it on our own. Just like love, joy, peace…..we need a relationship to grow and cultivate goodness in our lives.

Goodness is actively reflecting the character of God.

Jesus Challenged Conventional Goodness

When I examine the scriptures in the Bible, especially the stories about Jesus, I find that in Jesus’ stories, the good people in those stories weren’t always the ones society expected. I also find that Jesus surrounded himself with people that his culture didn’t expect him to hang around as a holy person.

Take the Good Samaritan. I hope you know the story. If you don’t, there’s this guy who was on a road and got left for dead. Some people passed by him, but didn’t help him. Religious people crossed the other side so they wouldn’t have to be associated with him. They just left him for dead too. But this Samaritan man passed by, he stopped and picked him up, took him to an inn. He washed his wounds, bandaged them, and paid for the man to have time to recover in this inn. And Jesus asked them who had done the right thing….and they had to admit the Samaritan man, even though the Jewish people at the time thought the Samaritans as unclean or unholy.

In another scene, Jesus is teaching. There is this tax collector who is short, who climbs up a tree, just so he can see Jesus. Jesus noticed him, and calls up to him, and tells him to come down, because Jesus was gonna eat at his house that night. And Zacchaeus came down, and Jesus dined with him that night. And then this changed Zacchaeus, because he began the process of paying back the debts.

These are just two examples, and I bet you can find more stories that demonstrate the fact that Jesus consistently exposed systems where appearing righteous mattered more than loving people.

The religious leaders looked righteous.

The Samaritan acted righteously.

Jesus consistently challenged people who confused appearances with goodness.

Goodness is actively reflecting the character of God.

Goodness is More than Morality

Many believers reduce goodness to a list of do’s and don’ts. Ask anyone who is a Christian, and they’ll tell you a list of things they’re not supposed to do. They’ll say good Christians don’t swear, they don’t watch certain movies, they don’t drink. This list of do’s and don’ts reduce morality to a checklist.

But Jesus was never about any of that.

Jesus talked and lived out his life, saying things about generosity, justice, mercy, compassion and forgiveness.

That tells me that goodness isn’t merely avoiding sin.

Goodness is actively reflecting the character of God.

Goodness Challenges Harm

There was one time where Jesus was brought this lady. According to the Jewish law, if someone who was cheating on their spouse was caught, they were to be brought out to the town square and they were to be stoned. So this lady was brought to him and I guess he’s just hanging out there. The teachers asked them what they should do. Knowing the law, they thought that they would trap Jesus, by Jesus participating in the stoning of her.

(Which, side note, it’s odd that they are challeninging Jesus on a law that they, themselves, know is unjust or unhumane…but maybe that’s a story for another day.)

Anyways, Jesus just kneels down to the ground and begins drawing on the ground. He says to the crowd, “He who has no sin, cast the first stone.” In this incredible moment, the men (in my eye) let go of her, and they have a moment of realization that they too, are guilty of something. After some time, Jesus looks up at her, and stands. He asks her where all the other guys are. She says they left. And Jesus tells her to go, and sin no more. In other words, Jesus invites her into a new way of living, a life that reflects the goodness of God.

If we think of it, Jesus is the only one in that whole crowd that has no sin. He’s literally the only one who is qualified by his statement, to cast the first stone to hurt her.

But he chooses to not.

Jesus exposes the ways people had weaponized God’s law against the very people God loved.

And sometimes, in our own attempt to be good, we need to do the same.

Sometimes, we need to re-orient ourselves and ask ourselves:

• Is this helping people?
• Does this reflect the love of God?
• Is this producing the fruit of the Spirit?

Jesus challenged interpretations of the law that had lost sight of God’s compassion. Over and over again, we see Jesus choosing the side of the people over the law. Why would he do that? Why would he get himself in a place of controversy? Why would he fall on the side of the person over the demands of the law? Doesn’t he know this is political and cultural suicide?

It’s simple: He loved people.

That’s it. That’s the bottom line.

Goodness is actively reflecting the character of God.

Goodness is Humble

There is no one who is humbled more than those who walked with Jesus. Leading up to the last days of his life, when he entered Jerusalem, people were shouting and worshipping that Jesus was with them. Just a few days later, they would renounce Jesus. They would condmen him.

Take the story of Peter. I love Peter. Some people don’t. But I love him dearly, because he’s one thousand percent authentic in his reactions. Peter had walked with Jesus from the beginning. The night of his betrayal, Jesus told Peter he would deny Jesus. Peter refused. You may know the story, and you might not. But eventually, he does deny Jesus. He refuses to admit that he knew Jesus, afraid that they would take him, too. Yet after Peter failed, Jesus restored him instead of rejecting him. Peter learned that his standing with God depended not on his own goodness, but on God’s grace.

Like Peter, we can fall into the trap of thinking that we are one of the good ones. Because when we do that, we stop being on guard against becoming one of the bad ones.

Jesus warned us against adopting that mindset. Instead, he encourages us to remain humble in where we are. Our own goodness will produce humility because we recognize that every good thing in us, comes from God.

Goodness is actively reflecting the character of God.

So how do I be good?

I recognize that I’ve kind of bounced around over and over again throughout this sermon. But you’re maybe sitting there wondering “Okay….so how do I actually become a good person?”

I’ll be honest, I was tempted to present you with a checklist at first. Because it’s easy and we think easily in check lists and boxes.

But then I realized something.

Throughout the Bible, Paul never tells us to go produce fruit.

Go sit with that.

I’ve never walked past an apple tree and heard it straining with all its might to grow apples. I’ve never walked by the grapevine and heard it struggling to produce the grapes. I’ve never been in an orange orchard, and heard the oranges struggle to produce the fruit that bears its name. In short, fruit doesn’t “try.” Fruit is the result of a healthy tree.

The same is true for us.

Goodness isn’t something we manufacture through willpower. We don’t sit there and just strain to become good. Goodness grows naturally in us, as we are connected to the one who created us.

That’s exactly what Jesus said in John 15 when he said:

‘I am the vine; you are the branches… apart from me you can do nothing.’

So, the closer I grow to Jesus, the more I begin to look like Jesus. His compassion becomes my compassion. His joy becomes my joy. His mercy becomes my mercy. His love becomes my love. And His goodness….becomes my goodness. That’s why it’s called the fruit of the Spirit and not the achievement or the struggle of the Spirit. Fruit grows.

Sometimes, it’s slow.

Sometimes, we don’t realize or recognize it.

But over time, our encounter with Jesus changes us, and we become more good, because God is good.

Goodness is actively reflecting the character of God.

Goodness begins

Unlike Jesus, I can’t just simply say to you “Go be good.”

That’s not enough. My words don’t have tthe same holy weight behind them.

Instead, I encourage you to ask questions. And ask questions like:

• Who needs kindness from me this week?
• Who needs forgiveness from me?
• Who have I written off because they’re different from me?
• Where is God inviting me to choose compassion over convenience?
• How can someone experience God’s goodness through me this week?

You see, our world does not need anymore people who claim to be good. Our world doesn’t need more people who claim to be moral.

Our world needs more people who lives lives that make the goodness of God more visible in our world. These are people who forgive. People who serve. People who tell the truth. People who show mercy. People who stand beside the forgotten. People who speak for those who have no voice. People who forgive when revenge would be easier. People who love like Jesus.

Imagine what our communities would look like if every follower of Jesus lived that way.

Imagine neighborhoods marked by compassion instead of suspicion.

Families marked by forgiveness instead of resentment.

Churches known more for mercy than judgment.

That’s the kind of goodness the Holy Spirit wants to grow in us.

And that kind of goodness has the power to change lives.

Goodness is God’s character becoming visible through His people.

Fruit of the Spirit: Choosing Kindness in a Harsh World

Welcome back and happy Summer! I do hope this summer has been wonderful so far. Thanks for being here and for reading these words. I know that there’s a lot of other things you could be reading or posting out there on the internet. But you’re here, and I appreciate that.

As you probably know, we’ve been looking at the Fruits of the Spirit this summer as our summer series. I hope you’ve been enjoying this series as much as I have, and I’ve honestly been really enjoying digging into this series. Let me tell you, the Forbearance post from last week, it’s still digging into me, still working on me. I think this series will be one that I will revisit over the years, just because this is just such good stuff. And I hope you will, as well.

The Fruit of the Spirit we are looking at today is Kindness. And I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure where this one was gonna take me. But it’s kind of a wild journey, so let’s get started.

When was the last time someone showed you unexpected kindness?

Not because they had to, or because they wanted something from you. Not because it benefited them. They were kind because they chose to be kind.

What do you remember about that moment?

I remember a kindness once. It’s not the last time that someone was kind to me. But I remember this kindness, particularly because it was the first time a peer really was kind to me. I believe it was the second grade. This new girl came to my school and was in my class. And as far as popularity goes, this girl was the tip-top. Everyone loved her, she was nice, friendly, sociable, and found fast friends with the popular people. And I, well, I wasn’t that. It actually took a long time before I found where I stood in the eyes of my peers, mostly because it was difficult for me to communicate with them. I had friends, for sure, but they were few. Misty was her name, and one day, our teacher re-assigned seats, and sat Misty beside myself at the front of the room.

Naturally, we worked on an assignment together. She did this part, I did that part, and we worked together, and finished our work well before others did, and Misty and I got to passing notes, like you do in class. She was the first person to ever ask me about my hearing impairment. Most of the other kids didn’t, because in the South, we are raised to not ask questions about disability. Or, they had asked in Kindergarten and they knew it. As we were passing notes back and forth, I remember her writing that the other kids didn’t like sitting with me because I couldn’t hear, and that was why they avoided me. Now, this is not a debbie downer story, okay? Just stick with me. But at the end of that note, she wrote me something that changed things for me, she wrote something about how it was okay I was hearing impaired, because that didn’t mean I wasn’t a cool person.

Now, she probably has no idea that this statement meant a lot to me. Misty moved away a year or two later, but I never forgot those words she shared with me, and how she met me where I was.

When was the last time someone was kind to you for no reason?

What do you remember about that moment?

And why do those moments stay with us?

What Is Kindness?

We use the word kindness all the time.

We tell children to be kind.

We thank people for their kindness.

We compliment people by saying they’re kind.

But biblical kindness is more than simply being nice.

Kindness is love made visible, compassion in action. Kindness is choosing to treat people with dignity, even when we don’t have to. It isn’t weakness. Kindness is freely given, but it often costs us something. It may cost us our pride, our time, our comfort, our convenience, or even our desire to be right.

The Kindness of God

“But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared…” — Titus 3:4

Before Scripture calls us to be kind, Scripture shows us a kind God.

The story of faith is not merely the story of a powerful God. It is the story of a compassionate God.

Again and again God meets people in their weakness. God feeds hungry people. God forgives wandering people. God comforts grieving people. God welcomes unlikely people.

The kindness of God reaches its fullest expression in Christ. Jesus does not merely teach kindness. Jesus embodies it. Jesus is kind when people show them him worst sides. Jesus is kind even when the people don’t deserve it.

And the same is applied to us. God is kinder to us than we have earned. God is kinder to us, even when we show him the worst side of us. God is kind to us even when we come to Him a mess. God shows kindness to us, even when we are just going to mess it up all over again.

Jesus and the Ministry of Seeing People

“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” -Matthew 9:36

One of the things I notice about Jesus is that he sees people others overlook: The woman at the well, Zacchaeus, Blind Bartimaeus, Lepers, Children, Poor people, the forgotten.

Everyone else saw these people as undeserving. They saw them as interruptions to their holy lives. They saw them as less than.

But Jesus saw them as people. And when they are seen by Jesus, it changed their lives.

Kindness begins by seeing people the way Jesus sees them—not as problems to solve, but as people to love. We cannot love people that we refuse to see. When we truly see people, it changes them. Sometimes, it changes us too.

Why Kindness Is So Difficult

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” -Ephesians 4:32

But let’s be honest with ourselves for a minute. Yes, we know we should be kind. We know it’s a good thing that a person should do. We know it’s the right thing for a person to do. But are we kind?

The truth is, kindness doesn’t come naturally all the time. If you’re honest with yourself, sometimes you get tired. Sometimes you get frustrated. Sometimes you wonder if you can trust another person. Sometimes we get busy and our focus gets shifted. Sometimes we’re hurting too bad to see someone else in their struggle. Sometimes we just choose not to, because we think they are undeserving, or even worse, we think that our kindness doesn’t make an impact.

In short, we allow life to get in the way of being kind to other people.

And slowly we stop seeing people as human beings and start seeing them as obstacles.

Kindness requires us to resist that temptation.

For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

-Titus 3:3-5

Before Paul tells us to be kind, he reminds us who we once were. We weren’t rescued because we deserved it. We were rescued because God was kind.

And more than that, Kindness is difficult also, because we forget that sometimes, we too, require others’ kindness. We require others to take the time to be kind, to put aside their hurt, their tired, their frustration. We require them to cast aside their judgements and their temptations, to provide us with kindness. We forget that we too, are in need of kindness, which makes it easier for us to withhold kindness from other people.

Kindness Is Countercultural

Our culture teaches us to evaluate people by what they know, what they achieve, what they own, or whether they’re on our side.

Jesus evaluates people differently.

Kindness asks one simple question:

“How can I love this person?”

Now kindness doesn’t mean we sit around a fire holding hands with enemies always, and ignore all the issues, and choose to sing Kumbyah with everyone and live in this fantasy land. It doesn’t mean that we avoid hard truths. It means that we follow the way of Jesus, and speak of the hard truths, while leading with compassion.

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal… If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge… but do not have love, I am nothing.” –1 Corinthians 13:1-3

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Small Acts, Big Impact

“And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.” -Matthew 10:42

Being kind isn’t always a grand gesture. It isn’t always putting out the red carpet or a big thing that draws people’s attention to your kindness.

Being countercultural doesn’t necessarily mean big.

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…” -Zechariah 4:10

Many of the most meaningful acts of kindness are surprisingly ordinary. A conversation. A note. A phone call. A smile. An encouraging word. A meal. Being patient. Being a listening ear. Sometimes, it’s just being present in a difficult moment.

You have no idea how your small kindness, the kindness that doesn’t make headlines…you have no idea how this small kindness could change the trajectory of someone’s life. You have a ministry opportunity here, anytime that you can choose kindness.

But it does mean that you sometimes have to be intentional.

You have to slow down enough to notice others. Notice when they need that kind word. Or that note. Or your empathy instead of your assumption. Or your compassion instead of your anger. Or your presence instead of isolation. We have to remember to give ourselves and each other more grace, because the Lord has first given us grace, and that is the example we follow.

And we have also received kindness. People who recognize the kindness they have received often become people who offer that same kindness to others.

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A Challenge

Misty probably doesn’t remember writing that note. She probably doesn’t remember where we sat. She doesn’t remember our conversation. She may not even remember me. But I do. Twenty something odd years later, I remember our conversation. I remember how it made me feel. Twenty something odd years later, I’m still telling the story of how that one kindness changed something in me.

That’s what kindness does. It outlives the moment.

Who in your life needs kindness right now?

Who is lonely?

Who is discouraged?

Who feels unseen?

Who needs grace?

And here’s the harder question:

Who is difficult for you to be kind to?

Because kindness isn’t really tested when it’s easy.

It is tested when kindness costs us something.

The kindness of God reached us when we least deserved it.

What would change if we offered that same kindness to someone else?

Because kindness is love made visible.
And the world could always use a little more of that.

Somewhere, years from now, someone may still be telling the story of a kindness you don’t even remember giving. Be somebody’s Misty today.